Jun 122012
 

As you know I love signs and I love to share my love of signs with my dear cuddly readers, here is one of my favourite signs. It is Italian and is a perfect demonstration of the way that not every sign translated into English becomes a monster of the English language, no that only happens when the Chinese translate signs.

We do what it says on the sign

Speaking of signs, I heard of one just now, someone sent me a message about a sign they had just seen. The sign was apparently stuck to a large wheelie (trash) bin (under two pairs of spectacles) sadly my informant didn’t include a picture, but then the handwritten sign was in Czech so only a minute percentage of the population of the world would have understood it anyway, and of course I can’t be included in that tiny group.

Anyway the sign said “lost glasses” and was sitting next to two, yes two pairs of glasses, as you can see the Czechs are not great ones for the capitalisation of their words or indeed punctuation marks which is sad really because the statement could be just that a statement or a question. As in “look two gloat glasses!” Or “are these two pairs of glasses lost?” Or indeed “have you lost two pairs of glasses?”

Still who can fault a nation of such honest people, if this was England the glasses would have either been stolen, or more likely smashed by some moron, just for the hell of it.

The sad thing is that it is possible that the person who lost the glasses won’t actually be able to see the two pairs of glasses neatly balanced on the wheelie bin under the “lost glasses” sign because they might not have a spare pair of specs as it would seem that they have lost not only their main pair of glasses but their spare ones too.

What a pity, obviously June 12th is not someone’s day, I do hope that it gets better and he or she finds his “lost glasses”.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Oct 312011
 

With the unexpected snow, that obviously doesn’t have its alarm clock set for ‘Winter,’ falling all over New York I though it was about time to look at silly road signs yet again and I promise you on my travels researching my latest book buster of a book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ I saw loads.

Oops I nearly forgot you can get a copy of my latest unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or if you are more than a little wired the ebook here The Cat’s Travelogue ebook.

It seems that people who erect ‘drive safely’ signs are causing havoc with innocent motorists and here is the very latest example.

I bet the poor driver was too busy reading the sign in heavy snow to watch the road and a dangerous piece of ice that started this accident. I do wish that people who are responsible for safety signs would be more responsible don’t you?

Still I suppose the old saying is true, “where you get motorists you get accidents!”A saying that is also true if you replace the word ‘motorist’ with human in this Cat’s experience!

Drive Safely

I am so sorry I can’t resist the urge to show you the cover of my latest book!

Travelogue by John Woodcock

There it’s better to get these sorts of urges over and done with isn’t it?

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Sep 122011
 

The thought processes of people who not only create signs but also leave them lying around to confuse others is unfathomable.

It seems a shame to this intelligent and fabulously good looking Cat that so much time and effort is devoted to telling innocent law-abiding motorists what to do and what not to do.

Of course there are so many signs telling motorists what to do and what not to do that they seem to cancel each other out um… as this picture shows.

Pardon

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Aug 062011
 

Here is the perfect sign. Without being rude it says exactly what needs to be said. The problem is that polite signs usually get ingnored so expect the Fox to be replaced with a four letter word beginning with ‘F.’

That s Right For Fox sake Slow Down

Mind you in this instance I think that the ‘Fox’ on the sign could be the bushy tailed variety, still mark my words when the sign is ignored the ‘F’ word will appear.

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Aug 012011
 

In the UK (and don’t tell the Brits but also in most of the rest of europe) the black and white sign on the left of the road in the picture below means that ‘no speed limit’ is in force.

However the sign painted on the road means that the speed limit is strictly 30 miles per hour!

I don’t think that this clever Cat needs to make much in the way of a comment on the overbearing bureaucratic nonsense that rules in the UK!

The Sign on the left mean no speed limit in the UK the one on the floor disagrees

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Jul 012011
 

Sometimes humans completely and utterly confuse me with the things that they do and worse things that they think. Then when they then go on to create a sign to describe what they are doing or thinking they probably confuse themselves.

What is this sign all about – answers in a post to my wonderful blog appreciated.

Mmh Cat or Baby  Would You Change Your baby For A Cat

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May 302011
 

The funny thing about humans and the signs that they create is that they very often make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I would like to know exactly what was in the mind of the fool who named this village, the people who decided to put the sign where they put it and so much more, but I’m afraid that if I learned that I would just end up being as daft as the rest of you humans.

Six 3

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Feb 162011
 

“The Warm Prompt…in order to avoid has the danger Thanaks your coordination”

The above nonsense comes from Taiwan which is odd, no not Taiwan, but the fact that I was talking about them yesterday and praising the people who come from Taiwan, (oh what do you call them – ah yes Chinese tee hee) and look what they go and do to a simple KEEP OUT sign!

The Warm prompt.jpg

You know I couldn’t have put that better myself, dangerous Honey Bees are a danger that has to be avoided, sadly though it is the other way around, mankind is killing the Honey Bees with pollution and you better stop soon because even though Einstein was wrong when he said that “If the bee disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live. No more bees, no more pollination … no more men!” he was almost right.

Mr Mad hair.jpg

Oh the reason why Mr Mad Hair was wrong was that most cereal crops such as Rice, Wheat and Corn that humans live on are actually pollinated by the wind and not Bees the planet would be an even worse place than it is now without Bees, no Honey, Fruits and so much more, though happily still Prawns.

I worry about a time when the fighting between humans breaks out about food who will fish for Prawns, I don’t think I can go without Prawns!

Anyway I have been wondering “A warm prompt” – what is one of those? You understand I don’t want one I just want to know if that is ok and while we are on the subject what other nonsense did Albert talk well here is a prime piece of rubbish straight from the scientists mouth try this flash of brilliance. “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour,” which proves we aren’t all perfect are we?

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Jan 272011
 

Signs and indeed labels are very important they impart crucial information that help you and I lead a normal life – well that’s the idea!

Sometimes things go wrong and you get ‘slippery pedestrians.’

Slippery.png

Or very strange plants!

Slow Plant.png

And then if you are unlucky enough to be in an Arab country you can enjoy a good dose of what the locals enjoy… oh sorry I can’t bring myself to type ‘Salticrax’ do you blame me?

Salticrack.png

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jan 072011
 

I can imagine the conversation between the dazed drive and the traffic cop after the (hopefully) small accident that this sign created all on its own!

Traffic Cop stands looking on bemused.

Driver pointing to undamaged yellow sign: “Turning left seemed right somehow officer!”

Turning Left Seemed Right Somehow.jpg

Ok so the next sign is not technically a road sign however before cars most highways were trails – yes I know that is a sort of tenuous introduction but I really like the Californian honesty behind this sign and so we couldn’t leave it out could we?

Californian Honesty.jpg

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