Dec 152011
 

Space Shuttle Program

I don’t know if any of my wonderfully cuddly readers remember my post Nasa Face in Space Update which I published on my wonderful blog in March 4th this year? I am sure they do a lot of people remember blogs from the Cat who writes blogs.

If you remember, that’s great; if not just click the link above and catch up with the rest of us and then do feel free to read on because I have something wonderful to tell you and it will probably be more impressive if you are ‘up to speed’ as they say to the more challenged among us who have a tendency to fall behind.

So now that we are all ‘on the same page,’ which is course yet another euphemism used when talking to the ‘slower ones’ among us now that we can’t use words like ‘remedial,’ ‘monks,”thick’ and so on and so forth, I have something wonderful to tell you!

Yesterday I received my certificate from Nasa which certifies that I took a journey on the second to last Space Shuttle the STS-134 as it’s known among us Catsmonaut’s. Oddly enough the certificate reads that “the face of The Cat has flown in space aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour on mission STS-134 from May 16 – June 1, 2011.”

Shuttle STS134 The Cat

Yes that is what I thought it’s an odd way of saying I was there with the guys but you know Americans they do have their own way of tangling with the English language forever wanting it to be more um… ‘American’ bless them.

Yesterday I signed Space Shuttle Program tribute wall because I just wanted to tell NASA how wonderful they are and if you would like to honour the amazing people who helped to design, build and fly the Space Shuttle, not to mention those who emptied the toilets, then you too can sign the wall and pay tribute to the Space Shuttle Program here Space Shuttle Program Tribute Wall.

I honestly recommend that you do this. NASA do an amazing job and I have always wanted to thank them, for not only letting me fly into space on a safe Space Shuttle, but also for the wonderful work they do, thanks NASA and I know that will mean a lot to all of you over there in the US.


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dec 142011
 

I have been asked constantly recently a range of questions about poor old Dreamworks’ latest chump of a movie ‘Puss In Boots!’

Puss in Boots

The questions range include;

1. Is there any thing I can do to help Dreamworks write either a funny or successful movie (or preferably both) in the future?

2. Is there anything I can do for this turkey of a movie that they have in the Movie houses at the moment?

3. Can I think of anything to do with enormous surplus of ‘Puss In Boots’ merchandise that Dreamworks have.

Puss in Boots Toy

The sad fact (and I have a feeling that the Cat already knows it judging but his pose in the picture above) is that I can’t help the movie or the people behind it or assist in shifting tons of ‘Puss In Boots’ figures, cuddly toys, action sets. Although I do believe that I could find a use for any ‘Puss In Boots’ toilet paper!

‘Puss In Boots’ the movie suffers from being spun from a rather frail character in a successful franchise, like so many TV series that none of us can quiet remember.

The movie itself suffers from the fact that Dreamworks really doesn’t have any idea what young people find interesting, funny and most of all engaging; indeed I wonder if any grown-ups at Dreamworks asked even just one child if they liked actually liked ‘Puss In Boots?’ And not the one caught up in the obvious regard that they had for the Puss in footwear in Shrek.

The original ‘Puss in Boots’ story always bored the diapers off me when I was a kitten! And I am sure that goes for normal ordinary children as well.

The reason why ‘Shrek’ was so successful was that it was ‘different’ the reason why ‘Puss In Boots’ is a Dog of a movie and has had incredibly disappointing box office receipts is that it is just um, err, well, just that it’s bland, grey, tired, unoriginal – need I say more?

So onto something that is wonderful, colourful, funny, marvellous and the work of a genius and I have to say closer to my heart and will make a small fortune. I am currently looking for funding for a movie based on my first masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and judging by the fact that people with money are idiots and to prove that have invested heavily in a mess of a movie like ‘Puss In Boots’ I am expecting the cash any day.

As far as I can tell I think I have only one problem, and that is that if the idiots with money are prepared to pour so much cash into a Donkey of a project like ‘Puss In Boots’ will they put vast sums of money into something that is brilliantly written, desperately funny, and a work of some considerable genius! It is probably doubtful because that would require taste and imagination!

Can you see that I am face by an awful dilemma! Should I dumb down the script, take out the jokes and worse base my story on a tired nursery rhythm or English Pantomime? And believe it or not there is yet another problem with that scenario!

Are there any tired children’s stories left? Haven’t Disney and Dreamworks animated all of them already and are now at their wits end running around saying “oh no, we have to do something original now!”

Of course that won’t get them anywhere you only have to look at Pixar to see that, they provide movies with amazing technical brilliance, incredible animated tricks and so on and so forth but the storylines tend to be weak.

Just think of any of those dreadful driving movies staring someone called ‘Vin,’ the special effects are um… ‘special’ but that’s as far as it goes. Once you have seen a string of special effects you tend to be immune to them but not to the drone of the movie.

So if you have a few mill or even a few thou don’t let it go to waste, buy a share in what will be the animated movie moment of the century and help fund my wonderful movie as soon as possible so that we can get on with the production of that and the sequel at the same time.

If you need to have a quick read of my wonderful book before you decided to fund my movie then you can get it here Paperback edition of Getting Out at Amazon.com and of course the movie sequel here Paperback edition of The Cat’s Travelogue and do get a move on, I want to start filming as early as possible, I am a Cat who writes blogs who is in a hurry to be the first Cat to win an Oscar.

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Dec 132011
 

Tommaso, a 4 year old black Cat, who until recently, was a stray from the mean streets of Rome, is thought to have become the world’s richest Cat.

Black Cat

Following the sad death of Tommaso’s 94 year old human last month, Tommaso has become a property magnate — or as some would call him a ‘mognate’ — who now owns and manages a handsome property portfolio, and is doing a better job of it than than most bankers, worth an estimated €10m dotted across Italy from Milan in the north to Calabria in the south.

Below is a picture of the view from one of Tommaso’s windows and him looking out over one or two of his properties before lunch.

Cat looking out of window

Unfortunately under Italian law, animals cannot inherit directly which seems rather disgusting for this Cat who writes blogs and who is expecting at least one inheritance any day now if there is anyone out there who isn’t feeling too well and wants to name him, happily this Cat doesn’t live in Italy so do make sure your wills are up to date and that the spelling of the main beneficiary is correct here it’s just for you THE CAT.

Happily there was a little wrinkle in Italian law which has allowed Tommaso to get what was coming to him as long as he had a ‘suitable trustee’ and so Tommaso’s human decided to entrust him and his fortune – to a lady and fellow Cat lover she met in a park and they became firm friends. “Sometimes I’d go to her house so my Cat could play with Tommaso,” Stefania who is now Tommaso’s trustee said.

When Tommaso’s human became too frail to look after herself Stefania, who is a nurse by profession, began to take care of her on a full time basis.

And now Tommaso’s lives with Stefania at an undisclosed address outside Rome, which is well away from the fortune hunters, con-artists and all of the others who think a Cat doesn’t need that sort of sum in a lump?

If you want to make this Cat richer than Tommaso this Christmas and your plans don’t include wills and dying then happily there is a very neat way to do just that and immediately simply click on either or both of the nice Amazonian links below and buy dozens of my books, they make great Christmas present, birthday presents and I have been told even if you don’t like them they make great door stops though you tend to been a pile of at least ten or that is what prince charles said.


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Dec 082011
 

I was talking to Hugh Grant the other day and we both agreed that being a celebrity can be hard, if it isn’t the Murdoch run newspapers trying to tap your phone, open you mail and go through your empties it’s the wonderful general public, bless them all, who can get a little carried away and storm your book signings just wanting to stroke you, and I have to say that happens to me a lot although I was surprised to hear that it happened to Huge (my pet name for Hugh).

Sometimes this Cat who writes blogs thinks that as a celebrity in constant demand by an adoring public you just have to get away, go into hiding or use camouflage, Hugh was of the same opinion but tends to think that you can hide from the public in a car parked round the back of a busy well lit street, still it takes all sorts to make the world dizzy doesn’t it?

Between you and me I have been using camouflage for a while now to avoid the glare of the public and the peeping Toms of the press and believe that camouflage is a very wonderful thing.

Just today I was leafing through a copy of my newspaper and spotted a whole section of pictures dedicated to animals and insects who are really rather good at camouflaging themselves.

I have to say that article was an altogether more interesting than another which reported that Madonna, (with an emphasis on the ‘Mad’ she is obviously going through some sort of mid-life experience), said that the duchess of Cambridge (if you don’t know who she is here’s a tip, she’s the anorexic looking newest royal, who depending upon the newspaper you read is expecting one or several babies, if that is true where is the bulge then – in a surrogate?) is “lovely girl with great sense of style.” Sorry Madonna I think it’s time to hang up your sling backs darling cos baby doll you have lost it!

Instead of offering you a picture of the tired but blousy Madonna or the Mousey but skinny duchess of Cambridge I thought I would let my wonderful readers have a gawp at some amazing camouflage pictures I was so impressed with. Not all of them are animals or insects as you will see and for one sadly no amount of camouflage will help her appearance.

So without further ado or character assassination I give you my little tribute to camouflage and the beasts that use it.

To start with how about the Leaf-tailed Gecko, aka the Satanic Leaf-tailed Gecko who blends in wonderfully with a rustle of old brown dried leaves this one lives in the Andasibe-Mantadia National Park in Madagascar?

Leaf Tailed Gecko

Or what about a Bat-faced Toad who has taken a tip form the Satanic Leaf-tailed Gecko above and is hiding amongst a crust of dead leaves in the Amacayacu National Park in Colombia?

Leaf Toad

Then there is the oddly named White Crab Spider sitting on a flower near you, if you happen to live in the south of England or Wales.

White Crab Spider

Humans can create excellent camouflage if they have the patience and artistic ability, but sadly unlike the animals above when they move the illusion is shattered. Let’s hope that this lady stays still because I think she has forgotten to get dressed this morning!

Nude

Lastly, and that is where every one of all of the dozens of English queens, dukes, duchesses, princesses and princes of benefit dependency – the English royal family – would come if they weren’t so privileged, we have the amazing camouflage of the duchess of somewhere that was invented especially to accommodate her.

As you can see she blends in rather well with the soldiers, some might say that she looks the most ‘rugged’ of them all!

Do you like me wonder what she is pointing at around that soldier’s crutch? She seems to be very interested in ‘something’ down ‘there’ don’t you think?

If you want to see more of these overrated royal individuals they can be found posing in army, navy and air force uniforms on state occasions (which makes you wonder if the English state isn’t a military one?).

Oddly enough the royals are almost always dressed up in very high ranking positions in their chosen armed force I wonder just how they earned this exulted ranks? Beats me!

If you want to get a good look at the English royal family the best place to spot them is on holiday somewhere very warm while the British newspapers sing their praises and extoll their virtues at home telling the English people just how hard the royals are working!

Duchess

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Dec 052011
 

I think that most people and Cats would agree that men’s rooms are not really very nice places, and definitely not places where one would want to linger, unless you are a policeman attempting to catch poor old Mr. George Michael in another weak moment I suppose. However just because men’s rooms are not very nice places that doesn’t mean that visitors should be expected to lower their standards when they enter them does it?

So would someone please tell the Taiwanese that! And if possible do so immediately!

A Very Confusing Sign

Mind you, if most Taiwanese are anything like the ones who used to constantly call my mobile trying to sell me something that rhymes with ‘rap’ then they probably wouldn’t listen. Their nuisance calls got so bad that in the end the only way I could get rid of them was to pretend that I was my brother and answer the phone with a sob then tell then ten times that I was ‘dead!’

They obviously are a bit hard of understanding in Taiwan because it took me that number of times to sob and blurt out the awful ‘truth’ tee hee.

Do use this tactic on unwanted callers if you are fed up with feeling like a sitting duck with a phone waiting for the next completely unsolicited and unwanted call because there is no other way to stop these dreadful people who intrude upon our lives.

The phone regulator that you and I pay for as a hidden ‘extra’ on our phone bill is desperately useless and usually the people making these nuisance calls have hidden or nonexistent numbers.

You can of course ‘improve’ their English by swearing at them but I have personally found on every occasion I have adopted that tactic that, because of their trade and the number of people who have sworn at them, you really have to stretch your vocabulary to find something new that they haven’t been called before and even that won’t shock them into not calling you in the future!


The Cat would like to wish Mr. George Michael a speedy recovery and tell him when he reads this that, “I like his tunes!”

George Michael


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dec 022011
 

Scientists at the Cern Laboratory in Switzerland and my front room say that they are very close to finding the God particle. Using the Large Hadron Collider and a Fingertip Search down the back of my sofa they have, they say, got very close to the elusive god particle and that means that they are the verge to announcing their evidence.

Cern

Just in case you aren’t sure the picture above is of the Cern Laboratory and the one below is of my front room, the sofa that scientists have been studying is the leather one on the right!

My front room

Cutting through all of the scientific waffle I am happy to let all of my cuddle readers into what until now has been a great big secret, without (hopefully) ruining the scientist’s ‘big day.’ The god particle that the boys and girls at Cern and my from room have discovered is a tiny bit of dandruff that I shed years ago and it’s said that in the hands of a well trained scientist this tiny piece of scientific gold can be used to clone more good looking geniuses like me.

Below is a photograph of my god particle dandruff taken while it was being scanned with a reflection electron microscope, the magnification is about 10,000,000x and that means that what appears to be an alien city, on an alien world with tiny beings inhabiting it, is no threat to mankind whatsoever because the tiny aliens and their world are really so very small. So there would be no point in training any nuclear missiles at my flake of dandruff I promise or indeed any other potential threats from my skin, if I had dandruff these days which I have to stress I don’t thanks to years of hard research by another scientists Dame Eumelanin Wella!

City

So taking a deep breath I would just like to take a moment with you all my dear cuddly readers for some quiet and maybe a little refection to consider this momentous discovery by the boys and girls at Cern and my front room, err… yes you can hold hands if you want to, but please don’t call me the prophet!

What has been achieved at Cern is… well you know, err… um… big! The whole endeavour is enormous, dangerous some say, but then it would be with so many people from different countries working there wouldn’t it. Whatever Cern is you must all agree it’s spectacular and happily as I have said before it’s built under a part of the world that if it had caused the vortex to open and Zardoz and his screaming minions to leap out not many people would have noticed.

Happily the outcome is one that we can all celebrate and although some are referring to my tiny flake of dandruff as the ‘god particle’ and by association me as ‘godlike,’ I just prefer to think that what has been achieved by the scientists at Cern and in my front room is so far beyond the comprehension of most of us that everyone from believers in the old chap with a snowy white beard, to the one who is an odd colour and has several more arms than one would think anyone could possibly need, to (and even at the risk of a fatwā or two), Allah.

What could be better than that, the scientists are happy, the religious followers will be happy sadly fanatics from the Tea Party to the Taliban won’t be happy with this momentous news, but then until they change their way of looking at the world they will never be happy with anything which is a shame.

It almost goes without saying that I’m happy for everyone involved. Mmh is that a little godlike possibly!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Dec 012011
 

In spite of protests across the world and in the Ukraine to date, over 20,000 stray Dogs and Cats have been slaughtered Kiev in a misguided and cruel bid to tidy up the streets for a Football Competition the Euro 2012.

After a public outcry earlier this month the Kiev government said it was to stop shooting or poisoning strays animals the authorities claim that stray animals were to be rounded up and taken to animal shelters instead.

Protest

However Judith Pein, of the German branch of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), claimed the slaughter was still happening and that “these killings are directly related to Ukraine hosting Euro 2012.” She also commented that, “stray killing is a profitable business.”

Just looking at the conflicting statements from the government of Ukraine you can see just what a bunch of heartless liars they are!

Ukraine Government Press Releases

November 4th 2011 Kiev

Ukraine to build shelters for stray dogs…

Ukraine will build shelters for stray dogs in big cities ahead of the Euro 2012 football championship, the government has announced.

Alsatian Puppy

November 18th 2011 Kiev

Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky calls for end to stray animals’ killing…

Mykola Zlochevsky Environment Minister has called for an end to stray animals’ killing ahead of the Euro 2012 Soccer Championship

To Date the Killing Goes On

From the Docs4Dogs European Network website Docs4Dogs.org

“Tidy streets” for the European Football Championship 2012 in the Ukraine: Stray Dogs and Cats are burnt alive.

Ukraine in the year 2011: In the last few months there have been mobile crematoria driving around in the streets of Kiev and other districts. The driver and his crews’ duty is to kill stray Dogs and Cats. Occasionally, the animals are burnt alive in these mobile crematoria, where they perish with inexpressible pain.

The background of this cruel “cleanup policy” is the European Football Championship 2012 in the Ukraine: The masses of expected foreign visitors shall not be confronted with stray animals. That is the reason why defenseless animals are beaten to death, poisoned, or burnt alive in these mobile crematoria.

The Union of European Football Associations [UEFA] also strongly criticises the public authorities in the Ukraine for these actions, and has offered them a financial support for castrations of stray cats and dogs to enable animal rights activists to solve the problem of stray animals in a responsible and humane way. Until now, the public authorities of the Ukraine have only shown negative reactions towards the protests of animal rights activists: They are putting animal rights activists under pressure by asking them to stop the international protests.

Docs4Dogs

Do sign the petition but please don’t feel obligated to donate to Docs4Dogs (I have ‘cleaned’ their donate button off the picture above). I have to stress that the Cat who writes blogs is not endorsing the work of Docs4Dogs.org in anyway whatsoever just the fact that they, like me, care about the welfare of animals (especially Cats in my case) the only difference is that I don’t ask for donations, I might of course occasional suggest you buy a book, and even use a bit of emotional blackmail, but a Cat has got to live and keep a roof over his head these days because it’s a bad time to be a stray.

Personally I don’t like the in your face attitude of most multinational charities who seem these days to believe that they have some sort of divine right to the hard earned cash in your pocket! Oh yes a lot of them say that they stand for change and then you discover that they have financial agreements and contracts with all sorts of unsavoury entities including but not exclusive of governments.

Finally if you are a football supporter I hope you will ask yourself if you really should be watching the European Football Championship 2012 in the Ukraine when you consider the suffering of in excess of 20,000 animals.

Some of the matches are being played in Poland and there are no Animal Holocausts being carried out in Warsaw or other Polish cities, so if want to watch a European Football Championship 2012 match do please go to one in Poland you may well find that the people there are much nicer than Ukrainains!

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Nov 302011
 

As the title says, everyone loves a fart joke although in my books and blogs I try to keep farting to a minimum, but it creeps in occasionally – as the actress said to the Bishop! Boom Boom!

Even though I do try to stop a fart appearing now and again in my books and blogs, the Cat who writes blogs couldn’t resist this photograph which I think should be entitled Where To Shop For A Small Explosion that being the first bit of the first line of the definition of a ‘fart’ in the 26 or so volume Oxford English Dictionary which adds that “the small explosion takes place between the legs” bless them – the dictionary people not the farters you understand!

Where To Shop For A Small Explosion

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 292011
 

I was going through some old pictures and when I came across this one (below) it reminded me of my aimless wanderings that resulted in the writing of my wonderful masterpiece ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (if you are one of the few people on the planet not to have a copy you can get it discreetly here www.amazon.com and no one will ever know that you didn’t have one of the latest trendiest ‘must have consumer products’ because you can pretend that you had it all the time).

In The UAE They Dream Of The Sea

The picture comes from the ultra modern high rising cement constructed emirate of UAE and brought back all sorts of dreadful memories of a place where the contradictions of life are many, various and confusing to say nothing of their translations into English!

Imagine spending $20 billion on an hotel – imagine the Burj Khalifa – and then try to imagine why you wouldn’t spend $20 on correctly translating a sign from Gulf Arabic to English, if you can do that then you can imagine just what life is like in Dubai or the UAE!

The UAE is a place where ‘foreigners’ are loathed, but welcomed so that they can fill the seven star hotels and try their hardest to buy at least a tenth of all of the dreadful modern and over priced real estate that has been thrown up for them on newly created ‘islands’ in the middle of enormous lagoons which are now sadly sinking back into the depths of the lagoons from where they were dredged up.

UAE

The UAE is a place that likes to pretend that it is modern, go ahead and forward thinking but can’t do more than pretend, take a recent innocent example of a multinational shoe manufacturer (Puma) who thought that the very rich inhabitants of the UAE and the tourists, who troll around the place gaping at the enormous buildings, pleasure parks and the greater number of building sites where construction has ground to a halt, would like a pair of trainers with the UAE flag plastered all over them.

These ‘special edition shoes’ (whatever that can possibly mean) were intended to mark the 40th UAE National Day. All that Puma had to do was to make them and put a stupidly high price on them ($190 because they are special I suppose), stick them in their own stores and ‘bam’ they would be a few million dollars richer even if half of the products sold would have to be returned because they were so badly made in China.

UAE PUMAS

Well it was a brilliant marketing plan what could go wrong?

What went wrong was simple the very conservative inhabitants of the UAE didn’t like the the fact that the nations flag colours were being used on shoes!

At this moment it might be a good idea to cast your mind back to the Iraq war, just at the end when America was being thanked and celebrated before the Iraqis changed their minds, when the enormous statue of old walrus face was toppled and locals started hitting it with their shoes.

Saddam Statue Shoe Attack

Then a short while later after the Iraqis had forgotten all about the repression of the old ways under the tough guy with the big soup strainer and more importantly who had rescued them from torture and terrible moustaches some idiot threw a shoe at Pres. Georgie B, can you see a pattern emerging here?

Pres Bush Shoe

For some reason in the Arab world, best known only to Arabs, feet and footwear are considered dirty, the Cat who writes blogs thinks that it is such a shame that there isn’t more widespread use shoe polish and foot baths in the Arab world as that surely would sort of solve little problems like this and then the UAE could make a better pretence of being what it pretends to be – a modern country that is a great place for tourists and second home owners. Because as incidents like this demonstrate currently the mind set of the people is still firmly entrenched in prehistoric Wadi mud, remember the Cat who writes blogs is just a Cat and Cats aren’t as clever as humans! Are they? But I have to say this I am glad that Cats have Paws and not feet and never wear shoes, unless they are dressed up by idiot humans – but that is the subject of another blog and nothing to do with this one!

Just imagine for a moment if we were so precious about the British Union Jack or the American Stars and Stripes, we would have tacky mugs, tea towels and souvenir shop rubbish in general, Jimi Hendrix’s masterpiece of guitar playing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ would be lost forever and we would never have had anything to roll our ‘herbal’ cigarettes in at college would we?

US Flag Joint

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Nov 282011
 

Silly me when I was showing everyone yesterday the picture of the snow on my blog here The Cat’s Blog I forgot to include a snapette of the even more snow that’s falling over the picture at the top of the page on The Cat’s Website or to put it another way my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite www.thecatsdiary.com and so I thought I would rectify that immediately, but then I went to sleep in the afternoon yesterday and then sadly it completely slipped my mind when I woke up to eat a very late supper.

Happily I had made a note to resolve the problem today and as the sticky note I used somehow managed to attach itself to my paw I couldn’t fail to remember, though I have to say I would have done it earlier if ‘Postit’ notes were more ‘attracted’ to sticking to computer screens, tables and indeed each other rather than they are to fur and pad skin!

Still here is the picture for you dear cuddly readers before I get carried away about the odd attractions that sticky things have – I’m sure I can wait and get carried away in the next paragraph!

Even More Snow

Have you noticed just how annoying sticky things are? Masking tape is probably the most useless sticky thing I can think of, it promises to lightly adhere to most things for a while and then be easily removed not leaving any marks, sticky patches or other nasty stuff. But it doesn’t want to stick to anything apart from fur, paw pad skin and itself does it? And it does this by hanging limply from walls, where it has been used as a mask prior to painting, just waiting for an innocent Cat to nonchalantly stroll by minding his own business until he becomes ever more embroiled in yards and yards of the stuff that need little or no encouragement to wrap itself ever more tightly around a stomach that will, it promises, be on a diet in the new year as part of a whole Feline detox programme.

I could go on about the pointlessness of sticky tape in all forms, but while typing I am trying to remove a line of masking tape from my err… how can I put this um… bottom! It isn’t easy for the Cat who writes blogs to write the aforementioned communication when he has his ass masked! Is it?

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