Tag Archives: The Cat

Some More Personal Information

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A lot of people ask me about me, and although I am a subject that I never tire of speaking about I feel do have to admit that I feel dreadfully limited when talking about myself and that is simply because I am wonderful, have done so much, am so good looking and of course have endless talent all of which means I just don’t have enough time to tell people who are interested in me, about me, to say nothing of the people who aren’t interested in me.

Of course I have pondered what to do about this dilemma and happily have come up with what I am sure you will agree is quite a brilliant little ruse.

I thought I would, on an occasional basis, share some of my likes, dislikes, thoughts and so much more with you in little one line statements of truth!

It is better to call them ‘truths’ so that no one bothers to check to see if they are actually true! Have you noticed that it is something politicians learned many years ago around the time they also learned to shed their skins, to say nothing of the art of pretending to be in control when things have got so bad that if they were driving a car instead of running a country the steering wheel would have come off in their hands just as the speedo reached 160 mph, which of course converted for our metric only readers is um… very fast indeed.

So here, you lucky people is my little fact of the day, it is of course all about me and utterly true!

The largest number of books I’ve sat on, at one time, is 13!

Now don’t forget that you can also discover so much more about me if you buy my masterpiece of a book “Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” which is still available at Amazon.com for next to nothing and have been described as wonderful not only by the author!

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Tiger Woods, The Cat Rolls Up His Sleeves and Dives In

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Mixing metaphors is like mixing drinks, it can produce an intemperate tirade of nonsense, similar to the intoxicatingly dumb and boring stories that currently beset poor, only in the sad stakes, Tiger Woods.

Now I have to say that of course I really have difficulty stirring myself to defend an idiot, and as the once mighty Tiger has admitted in so many words he was an idiot, but as a Feline I feel it is my duty to defend a Tiger, no matter how faded and tarnished this idiot’s image may be.

So after talking on the phone to my people who talked to the Tiger’s people who shared some black coffee with the Tiger, here is a short statement that both sides have agreed upon.

“Tiger Woods is not such a bad person you know and is was only practising at the 19th hole!”

As Eight-time Grand Slam winner Andre Agassi said when he awoke recently, don’t be so cruel to the Tiger and don’t judge him too harshly. “It’s irresponsible to jump to conclusions on Tiger Woods without the full facts after recent claims about the golfer’s private life…” Then he dropped off to sleep again.

Just remember that incredibly rich people have a right to let off steam once in a while and better still have, if they are sensible, a large number of PR people who can ensure usually that the ‘facts’ are never ‘full’ by any means.

So quite frankly my advice to the tarnished Tiger is to get better PR people. Frankly I would have thought that a small car crash in possibly an alcoholic haze, while possibly beating your wife with a five iron can be smoothed over rather easily if you have the right PR people, just ask the Kennedy clan!

Finally I have to say that as of this moment in time there is not going to be any announcement regarding the replacement of the Tiger with The Cat on the side of some bottles of Gatorade. Frankly just like the disgraced Tiger, The Cat would only drink that rubbish on camera and for large amounts of the folding stuff, but a Kitty has got to live! So watch this space.

However here at The Cat HQ (a sober and clean place where no wife beating has ever taken place) we were sent the picture below by an anonymous advertising agency, who simple asked The Cat for his opinion on some new artwork.

As of this moment that is all we can say on the subject of the new and improved Gatorade which, never fear, will be on the shelves for the Holiday Season.

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Stop For a Moment and Think About Your Furry Friends!

Everyday around the world hundreds of thousands of Cats are going hungry, unloved and mistreated and that is something that shouldn’t be allowed.

But there is some good news and that is that you, yes you can do something about this dreadful state of affairs.

I imagine that you have often said to yourself, “I know it is terrible that there is such cruelty to animals and it is just awful, but what can I do, I just wish I could make things better for the poor little creatures?”

The simple answer is that you can make things better for all the poor little Cats around the world that are being mistreated and go hungry every day.

You can help then one at a time, starting with me. Just buy my book and I promise that I will make sure that I live in total comfort and never go hungry!

And if you really want to help then why not buy a few books, Christmas is coming and they make excellent presents, door stops and solid objects for humans to throw at each other when they are having a row. I typed “when humans are rowing” at first but it didn’t sound right, people throwing my book at each other while enjoying a boat trip?

So what are you waiting for? Type “Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” into Amazon.com and get my book, it will help save an adorable Cat’s life – me! or cut out the middle man and just send me more than you can afford right now.

Purrs,

The Cat

 

My Favourite Cushion, My Favourite Chair
Comfy

 

 

So Here We Are!

It is great to be here in one of the palaces of self promotion and I promise to do my part to entertain all you nice people and watch the sales of my latest book climb.

As always you can get more information about me at www.thecatsdiary.com and you can buy my book by searching at Amazon.com.

I can promise that you are going to hear a lot more from me, no that isn’t a threat.

Purrs,

The Cat

The Cat
Me - The Cat