Nov 102011
 

While having my breakfast of tasty Prawns with a side of Prawns and a bag of Prawns to go sitting next to me on the diner table I was reading the newspaper.

I rarely read newspapers because I believe that if you want to ruin your day read a newspaper at breakfast and if you want to ruin your life become famous, like me, and have News International eavesdrop on your every phone call, read your mail, hack your computer and sift your trash while trying to gather dirt on you. So far that have failed thanks to my satellite phone a little tip I learned from someone I was talking to in the CIA several years ago.

I have to say here that when I was talking to this lady from the CIA I thought that ‘CIA’ was an abbreviation for China International Airways and to be honest I didn’t discover what the letters really CIA stood for until I climbed aboard what I thought was a small China International Airways jet at an airport in Pakistan while researching my latest unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (available here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition and if you want an ebook here The Cat’s Travelogue ebook boy was I in for a surprise I can tell you, and if you read my latest work of feline literary genius you will know exactly what I am talking about here!

Anyway, so there I was reading the newspaper and getting ever more depressed, when I think I have reached rock bottom after reading three articles about four politicians in three totally different countries who were all displaying their own special type of ineptitude that singles them out for a career in politics when my eye caught this headline:-

“Is it time to give up on Tigers and Pandas? – Controversial plans to save one species at expense of another are gathering pace”

The it went on to say:-

“A majority of professional conservationists believe it is time to consider shifting efforts away from some of the world’s most famous species, such as the Panda, to concentrate on others which have a greater chance of success.”

Panda

So is that what humans have come to? They have hunted animals to extinction destroyed their habitat to grow beef for McDonalds then a few decades ago seen the light and started to conserve species instead of running rough shod over them and now they have decided, because trying to protect animals is too much like hard work, to choose one species over another because they can’t cope with their own destructiveness which so drastically affects all of the other animals and creepy crawlies who share the planet Earth.

Well all I have to say is shame on you humans for taking so much of the Earth’s resources and leaving so little for wildlife, shame on you conversationalists and in particular shame on the charity the World Wildlife Fund for taking so much money and pretending to give a damn about animals and obviously failing so miserably.

I would also like to say that if there has to be a choice between Pandas and Tigers we should save Tigers they are not only better looking, they are also more interesting, more active, distant cousins of mine and better still if their numbers were to grow significantly they might just start getting their own back and start eating humans!

2 Siberian Tigers

At least there is one positive to come out of this article and that’s that you can stop giving your hard earned folding stuff to the WWF!

As I have said time and again all charities are absolutely useless and this article proves that, if you ever doubted my word, instead you can of course send all of your spare cash to this Cat and make his life amazingly comfortable, unlike a charity I will spend you money wisely and choose only the finest Prawns, the best cars, hotels and employ only the most qualified staff to attend to my every need, which are many and various.

I do hope that people start to see how dreadful charities are now in the light of what these conversationalists are proposing. I was telling people 15 years ago just how greedy and corrupt banks were and now they are seeing it, let’s hope it doesn’t take the same length of time for the public to see just how much alike charities and banks are, they only care about themselves and nothing else even the things they are set up to protect, help, nurture or whatever else they waffle on about as they hold their hands out for you cash.

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