Jul 172014
 

They say that Dubai has everything you would want in a vacation destination, but what do the people who live there think about the invasion of foreigners to say nothing about them being strictly non-believers.

Well I think that I have found the answer.

Call to let of steam in Dubai

Obviously if you are a local and disconcerted or angry about the number of tourists you can call the number on the back of the Toyota Pickup for a rant!

Hmm I would have thought that Dubai being something of an up market destination for the above average holidaymaker the “Call for a rant” organisation would have used a rather more luxurious automobile wouldn’t you?

Have we at long last seen something from Dubai sans bling? Surely not! No don’t worry it is still like Blackpool with Baubles or Vegas with (real) Gold leaf!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Aug 132012
 

As the Czech summer becomes ever more like an English one I am starting too think that it might be time to have my second holiday early this year to alleviate some of the shivering, but where to go? That is the question.

I have to say that I love Spain and normally drop in on my amigos at leads once a year but before booking a scheduled flight to sunny Majorca this weekend,(anyone who has read my second masterpiece of feline literature, ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’, will know my thoughts on low cost airlines and so I don’t think I need to say what bad value for money they are here, just read my book), I remembered an odd sign someone gave me that had come from the overly commercial south of the island, where you can get tattoos, pieced ears (not all attached) and horribly drunk if you are a dreadful loutish British tourist.

Mixed message Majorca

Makes you wonder if the Spanish know what tenderness or being gentle is doesn’t it, I know that they have, in the main, given up Bull Fighting “thank goodness,” a cry I hear echoed around the world by the Toro de Lidia or Black Bulls big and small, but using a weapon to piece an ear is a bit much isn’t it?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Nov 292011
 

I was going through some old pictures and when I came across this one (below) it reminded me of my aimless wanderings that resulted in the writing of my wonderful masterpiece ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ (if you are one of the few people on the planet not to have a copy you can get it discreetly here www.amazon.com and no one will ever know that you didn’t have one of the latest trendiest ‘must have consumer products’ because you can pretend that you had it all the time).

In The UAE They Dream Of The Sea

The picture comes from the ultra modern high rising cement constructed emirate of UAE and brought back all sorts of dreadful memories of a place where the contradictions of life are many, various and confusing to say nothing of their translations into English!

Imagine spending $20 billion on an hotel – imagine the Burj Khalifa – and then try to imagine why you wouldn’t spend $20 on correctly translating a sign from Gulf Arabic to English, if you can do that then you can imagine just what life is like in Dubai or the UAE!

The UAE is a place where ‘foreigners’ are loathed, but welcomed so that they can fill the seven star hotels and try their hardest to buy at least a tenth of all of the dreadful modern and over priced real estate that has been thrown up for them on newly created ‘islands’ in the middle of enormous lagoons which are now sadly sinking back into the depths of the lagoons from where they were dredged up.

UAE

The UAE is a place that likes to pretend that it is modern, go ahead and forward thinking but can’t do more than pretend, take a recent innocent example of a multinational shoe manufacturer (Puma) who thought that the very rich inhabitants of the UAE and the tourists, who troll around the place gaping at the enormous buildings, pleasure parks and the greater number of building sites where construction has ground to a halt, would like a pair of trainers with the UAE flag plastered all over them.

These ‘special edition shoes’ (whatever that can possibly mean) were intended to mark the 40th UAE National Day. All that Puma had to do was to make them and put a stupidly high price on them ($190 because they are special I suppose), stick them in their own stores and ‘bam’ they would be a few million dollars richer even if half of the products sold would have to be returned because they were so badly made in China.

UAE PUMAS

Well it was a brilliant marketing plan what could go wrong?

What went wrong was simple the very conservative inhabitants of the UAE didn’t like the the fact that the nations flag colours were being used on shoes!

At this moment it might be a good idea to cast your mind back to the Iraq war, just at the end when America was being thanked and celebrated before the Iraqis changed their minds, when the enormous statue of old walrus face was toppled and locals started hitting it with their shoes.

Saddam Statue Shoe Attack

Then a short while later after the Iraqis had forgotten all about the repression of the old ways under the tough guy with the big soup strainer and more importantly who had rescued them from torture and terrible moustaches some idiot threw a shoe at Pres. Georgie B, can you see a pattern emerging here?

Pres Bush Shoe

For some reason in the Arab world, best known only to Arabs, feet and footwear are considered dirty, the Cat who writes blogs thinks that it is such a shame that there isn’t more widespread use shoe polish and foot baths in the Arab world as that surely would sort of solve little problems like this and then the UAE could make a better pretence of being what it pretends to be – a modern country that is a great place for tourists and second home owners. Because as incidents like this demonstrate currently the mind set of the people is still firmly entrenched in prehistoric Wadi mud, remember the Cat who writes blogs is just a Cat and Cats aren’t as clever as humans! Are they? But I have to say this I am glad that Cats have Paws and not feet and never wear shoes, unless they are dressed up by idiot humans – but that is the subject of another blog and nothing to do with this one!

Just imagine for a moment if we were so precious about the British Union Jack or the American Stars and Stripes, we would have tacky mugs, tea towels and souvenir shop rubbish in general, Jimi Hendrix’s masterpiece of guitar playing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ would be lost forever and we would never have had anything to roll our ‘herbal’ cigarettes in at college would we?

US Flag Joint

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Jun 072011
 

If you’re ever stuck for a smile or need a laugh do go to China I promise it will cheer you up. I should know I went to China as p-art of my ‘research’ for my soon to be released next book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue – The Cat Against The World.’

China is not really a very nice place and it’s very polluted so I urge you don’t plan to stay long, but a short stay in any of the main cities that serve the West with the hard labour of their sweatshop style factories producing Computers, TV, cell phones and all of the rest of the crap that we think we can’t do without or any of the other cities that have dedicated themselves to parting Westerner’s hard currency. These cities are of course called known in China “tourist destinations for foreigners” show you what I mean.

China may be a dreadful place where the words ‘Cat’ and ‘Dog’ are menu items but you have to hand it to the hairy little sods their signage is second to know when you need to smile.

As the picture below proves the Chinese are really very odd and have a view on life that is alien to us Westerners what is happy grass! I ask you!

Tender Grass

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you, along with that other ‘developed’ country India, the world leaders of the future!

There I knew you wouldn’t be sad for long and you haven’t even boarded your plane to China yet!

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