Jul 232012
 

Stubbs the Mayor

If you read my blog of a few days ago with the snappily short title of – “Spotlight on the longest serving Mayor in Alaska – Stubbs the Cat” you will have heard all about Stubbs the Cat who as the title says is the longest serving Mayor in Alaska and probably the world.

If you enjoyed my blog and there will be questions after if you didn’t, then I thought that you might well like to see a video (here Stubbs the Cat Mayor) all about this giant of the American political system.

If you didn’t read my blog then here is a very quick link Stubbs – my blog to follow which will enable you, or should that be empower you? I never know! Anyway it will let you read all about Stubbs the Cat who is a better politician than any human will ever be.

Of course as you would expect from a totally ‘wired wussy’ you can click on the picture below to go to my video page and watch the video now.

Stubbs the video



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 202012
 

Today, July 20, 1969, America achieved something amazing, astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the surface of the Moon. And below is a marvellous photograph of his footprint in the lunar dust.

Neil Amrstrong Foot Print

So much for all of the idiots who say that this monumental event was staged!

Buzz Aldrin photographed by Neil Armstrong 20 July 1969

Sadly as far as this Cat is aware, neither the people who came up with the peculiar idea that the lunar landing was a hoax or just a publicity stunt, nor the daft people who have blindly repeated this nonsense over the years have achieved anything on this day July 20th or indeed at any day in the past.

Of course before any humans ever went into space animals had been there already. There is no truth in the rumour that any of these animal pioneers from the very beginning of spaceflight there volunteers. On the contrary animals had no choice in the matter whatsoever they were simply bundled up and tied down in the cockpits of various rockets destined for the heavens.

The first animal in space was a rhesus monkey called Albert I, he was blasted off from White Sands, New Mexico on June 11, 1948, in a V-2 Blossom rocket. Of course if you look at the V-2 Blossom rocket closely, you’ll note that it is actually the same as the ones used to ‘bomb’ London towards the end of the war.

Albert II V2 launch

Now I am not suggesting that these were exactly the same rockets that made such an impact on London or that the ones that hit London were a result of what is called ‘friendly fire.’ But I am suggesting that the Nazi technology which vanished from Germany at the end of the war turned up in New Mexico along with the scientists who had planned to use these V-2 rockets to completely re-arrange the landscape of London!

For those of you who like Cats, the nicest people in the world as far as I am concerned, I thought I would mention that the first Cat to be launched into space, very much against his will, was called Felix. Felix made a brief but successful flight on October 18, 1963 and Felix happily was landed successfully after a parachute descent.

Felix

Sadly the rocket which was carrying the second Cat to be launched into space by the French, just six days, later ran into difficulties that prevented recovery. No one knows what happened to the Cat sadly.

All wasn’t so bad for the SpaceCats though because the French government had quite a few Cats in intensive training for possible space flight in 1963. Unfortunately ten had to sacked or as the French government put it ‘decommissioned’ the official reason rather embarrassing is that under the strict training regime the Cats put on too much weight to be able to fit into the spacecraft. I have to say that I admire those ten almost as much as Felix don’t you?

This episode also reinforces the idea that the Cats used in the french space programme were starts from the streets of Paris and if they were I am sure they made the most of their good fortune.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 192012
 

While I was away or possibly asleep the Chinese have been beavering away building space rockets and even a space station. It goes without saying that they have given their space craft silly names like the “Long March” and probably “Mao’s Delight” but amazingly considering how badly they make products for western consumption their rockets are achieving low Earth Orbit.

Of course we shouldn’t encourage the Chinese by congratulating them because they might get carried away attempt to do something spectacular and actually relevant in space and not just copy the Russian and the Americans achievements from the 60’s and 70’s then over reach their abilities, which we all know are desperately limited you only have to open a newly purchased box of some electronic something or other to know that!

Still you have to hand it to the Chinese they are sending their Sinonauts, as they call their Astronauts, into space quite regularly and under their own power unlike the Americans sadly, but then that has more to do with the cash they have earned from the west than any other reason I suppose.

All of which brings me on nicely to a picture I saw, and was touched by, this week. It’s of three brave members of the party and army (of course) one of whom had not only to be qualified and fit enough to get fired into space but also to had to be married and had a baby (guess which one). Surely these requirements are a little odd for anyone wanting to go into space aren’t they well that is what I thought.

The picture that caught my attention was of the brave trio, one of whom was married and had had a baby, saluting, I don’t actually know who or possibly what they were saluting but that is not important. What I thought was important and rather touching was that the three, as you can plainly see, were allowed to take their Cats into space, safely housed in their Cat carriers for the journey.

I think that the Chinese authorities have been rather nice in allowing their Sinonauts to do that and in addition I think that it is such a wonderful co-incidence that all of the Sinonauts on this mission to nowhere own Cats, although the Cat carrier of the lady Sinonaut might be adapted to carry the baby that she had to have had to qualify for the journey mighten it!

Sinonauts and their Cats



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 182012
 

I have no real reason to publish this picture apart from the fact that I thought it was rather bizarre and I like the bizarre!

Polar Bear Arrest

There that should be an end to this blog. But I thought maybe I could add a few observations. Since when have the British police been allowed to display their tattoos? And what is the female officer doing in the foreground? Checking her mail on a mobile phone I would say wouldn’t you!

You know I can imagine that it would take a lot more than six police officers to tackle a real Polar Bear but this poor fancy dress Polar Bear seems rather defeated, poor thing and six police officers with or without rubber gloves is several too many don’t you think?

Lastly why is the tubby police officer wearing rubber gloves, does she suspect that the Polar Bear has fleas?

As usual British justice and those who enforce it are all very confusing!

I bet you are wondering why the British were arresting a Polar Bear in the first place aren’t you? Well the answer is that the Polar Bear was part of a protest by a well know ‘green’ organisation who appear all too often on high streets around Europe chugging to mention their name or their cause.

For those of you who don’t know what ‘chugging’ means here is my definition. Chugging or “Charity Mugging” is the practice of collecting for ‘charities’ and other do gooding bodies that involves stopping unsuspecting shoppers in major thoroughfares to sign them up to a monthly subscription to some ’cause’ or the other.

The subscriptions solicited usually go towards paying for large modern offices and all expenses paid trips abroad for some staff to ‘assess’ the situation whatever that situation might be! Usually it is a ‘situation’ that requires a stop over or two in a four star hotel for several days and then an hour or so at the sharp end whether it be a children’s hospital in Syria, or a Whale gathering in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 172012
 

Stubbs the Cat has been Mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska since he was a Kitten and has seen other political players and lightweights come and go in Alaska, he attributes his successful 15 years in office working as the longest serving Mayor in Alaska to very much a ‘paws on’ way of operating.

Indeed part of Stubbs success as Mayor is that he like to be close to residents and meaning that Stubbs didn’t, when he was first elected Mayor, spend $50,000 on redecorating his office without the approval of city council like a one time mayor, Governor, then dramatically unsuccessful Vice Presidential Candidate*. Oh no Stubbs’ office is humble by comparison, it’s the local general store, Nagley’s Store, where he can be found everyday constantly snacking on Alaskan Snow Crab, his only Mayoral indulgence.

Stubbs the Mayor

In between town business Stubbs receives around 30 to 40 visitors a day who travel miles just to glad paw him and answers messages from his Facebook account, where he has over a 100 more ‘friends he has never met’ than residents of the small township of Talkeetna (900 for those of you who are curious).

Most afternoons as the sun sinks just after midday in the Fall and all day during the Winter Stubbs takes a well earned nap, safe in the knowledge that he is not only the most successful and popular Mayors in the world but is also a shining example of what a true politicians should be!

Cat Mayor 2

A source close to Stubbs’ campaign who wished not to be named because of the sensitivity of the matter was quoted as saying that Stubbs may eventually follow another famous Alaskan politician into a race for the White House, but he continued, Stubbs, who has an IQ a lot higher than that unsuccessful Alaskan hopeful, has much to learn about the world and of course needs to always bear in mind that Canada is not part of the US.

Sarah Palin

*”I’m the Mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.'” –Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor’s office without approval of the city council.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 162012
 

Correct me if I am wrong but are more and more movie studios greasily sliding onto what they obviously see as the lucrative bandwagon that is animation, all with rather substandard productions, and worse it seems the are all choosing to join the 3D animation bandwagon which begs the question what will happen to the rather wonderful but sadly ‘ordinary’ 2D animation?

Yes this weekend I went to see Ice Age 4, a disappointment of a movie in 3D that even Sid the Sloth couldn’t rescue with his usual humour, despite a rather novel encounter with his wonderfully negligent parents.

Ice Age 4 Poster

To my way of thinking too much time in this confused movie was devoted to ‘amazing’ 3D effects of landmasses sliding over each other, not that these effects weren’t impressive of course, it’s just when you’ve seen one landmass slide over another the rest gets just a little tedious.

Maybe that is the trouble with modern day ‘Pixar’ style animation. Producers, writers, directors and teaboys in charge of these enormously costly productions think that they are compelled to include ever more startling special effects at the cost of… oh things like storyline, comedy and even relevance!

 

You never saw much in the way of special effects in Daffy Duck, Wile E Coyote or Bugs Bunny animated productions. Just a lot of gags and a bit of madness. Oh how I miss them these days and cringe at the announcement of the latest animated feature production especially when it is in 3D – when will they get that right?

Looney Tunes

There was one good thing about seeing Ice Age 4 this weekend though, I saw a trailer for Universal Studio’s first stab at making a large pile of cash from animation. It was called ‘Paranorman’ and if the trailer – where they include the best bits I believe – is anything to go by then we should all give this awful 3D turkey a very wide berth indeed.

 

Come on Disney, Fox, Sony to say nothing of Dreamworks please at least try to make a 3D animated movie that is entertaining and makes the audience laugh and not leave the movie theatre looking sheepish and embarrassed for having wasted so much time in the dark.

Here is just an observation about the Apple IOS 5 it recognises the made up word that is the part of the name of ‘Pixar’ Animation and not only auto-suggests it when you type one fingeredly on any iPhone, pad or Pod’s cramped keyboard but will also auto-correct a misspelling of the word ‘Pixar,’ but does not do the same for the made up word that’s the name of a competitor ‘Dreamworks’ really Apple how banal is that?

Finally, imagine my surprise, shock and horror to discover that Peaches, the daughter of Manney and Ellie the Mammoths in Ice Age, looks like a friend of mine! No I don’t think I am brave enough to say who though!

Peaches



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jul 122012
 

Yes, yes I know it has been a while, but guess who forgot to pack my Apple laptop for my extended and well deserved holiday? Ok I’ll admit it was me, until I find someone else to blame of course.

So here is my first blog, for sometime, and I know that will make a lot of people very happy. Well maybe I should modify that statement and say that I ‘hope’ it will make a lot of people very happy.

Is it the sun making me conceited or the heady aroma of gallons of evaporated suntan lotion wafting around in the air from the great expanses of ample human flesh slumped in sun loungers? Possibly!

So I thought that I should try to do something to compensate all of my patient, cuddly readers for my absence and their imposed lack of my wonderful and extraordinarily funny blog, but how that is the problem.

Frankly I am so used to being on the other end of giving, if you see what I mean, that I hardly know how to reward anyone mail because it involves me giving!

But wait a minute I could do what all of the multinational companies and desperately corrupt banks do when they want to appear to reward their customers, attract new ones or as most of the major UK and US banks will be doing in a few weeks – use a divide to distract poor old long suffering Joe Public and deflect some of the awful truths that are surfacing about the extent of their corruption. I will launch a competition!

If cuddly reader can guess exactly where I am staying from the photograph below I will send them an ePub copy of my amazingly brilliant book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’ Now you can’t say fairer than that can you?

The Beach

Because I want to publish some pictures from my holiday destination very soon I am going to have to close the competition tomorrow but that gives my dear cuddly readers plenty of time to enter doesn’t it?

Just in case my dear friend Lois enters the competition here are a few pointers and clues – no Lois I am not on the Moon, what is it with the Moon by the way? I am not anywhere in the Southern Hemisphere either and currently I am not on a movie location shoot.

So good luck with there competition and if you don’t want to risk supplying the wrong answer do remember that you can get a copy of any and all of my books from either my website or an Amazon website near you, yes Lois unless you live on the Moon! And if you have forgotten the web addresses for my site or you are really confused Amazon’s here they are again in clickable form!

Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary at Amazon.com, The Cat’s Travelogue and finally the big one – my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 292012
 

When not snooping on us through the internet, recording pictures of the outside of our homes for Google.Maps, Street View and generally gathering as much information as they can about you and I so that they can offer us products and services based on our internet activity and worse the content of our emails, Google try to cover their less than savoury business practices by producing ‘interesting’ information, daft doodles on their home page, and all sorts of fluff.

Google is very keen to show how their ‘wonderful’ maps can be used to demonstrate all manner of things, the manner of things they had on their minds yesterday was odd, to say the least, as you can see below in their map that completely redraws Africa’s boundaries.

Ladies and Gentlemen and dear cuddly readers I give you the “Britons arrested abroad mapped,” map; for what it is worth which is slightly less than nothing I imagine.

One of Googles odder maps

Google released this ‘very informative’ map to show where Britons are arrested abroad? Quite why they wanted to do that I have no idea this was their little explanation.

“Data blog: More Britons are fleeing the long arm of the law to other countries. Find out how many and where.” (As if anyone is interested).

Well thanks for that Google the map was very enlightening, just one question! Since when has Africa been almost completely sub-divided by what Google label as the “Gulf of Guinea?” Beats me, but then I am only a Cat and not half as clever as the ‘intelligent ones’ at Google.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 282012
 

It is one of the fundamental truths of life we all have dreams! Here is a version of the American Dream from Colorado.

We all have dreams Colorado

At first I though that this dream was simple but the hard, agonising truth, is that the more you think about wanting clean dirt the more impossible it is to make that dream a reality. Just as the folks who ran nuclear power stations around the world that have had accidents have probably discovered and will be striving for ‘clean dirt’ for hundreds of years to come.

Did you know that since 1961 until now there have been 99, yes 99 (what a shame you can’t put numbers in capitals) nuclear accidents! Staring with Idaho Falls, Idaho, United States in January 1961 and ending with the disaster at Mihama Nuclear Power Plant Fukushima, Japan in 2011.

Though not responsible in any way for the accident at Three Mile Island, here is a picture of President Jimmy Carter on the scene, I think he looks a bit guilty, but that could be shock! Couldn’t it?

Pres Carter 3 Mile Island

You have to wonder just how strictly rules and procedures were enforced back in those days , and of course now, because nuclear plants can “go up” at any time.

Why am I asking that pointed, or to some pointless, question well the sign above the President’s head says “UNNECESSARY PERSONNEL STAY BEHIND LINE” clearly in the picture the radiation bootied Pres has both feet over those all important lines.

Oh sorry I forgot the Three Mile Island did “go up” didn’t it! Which I suppose answers my question doesn’t it!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Jun 272012
 

As you can see from the picture and the title of this little blogette there is indeed something rather special about Chesterfield in the UK and that is the existence of Humped Puffins, yes that is right apparently Chesterfield has a thriving community of Humped Puffins and is as far as I know the only place in the world with any Humped Puffins at all.

Chesterfield England where Humped Puffins are rather common

To be honest I didn’t know that there we such creatures but what do I know there are, and it would seem (again from the picture) that they enjoy crossing roads. I wonder if they have other hobbies?



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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