Tag Archives: www – wickedly wonderful website

A Very Big Thank You From A Humble Cat

“Here is a very big thank you from a humble but good looking Cat,” there that is a better description of my good self, I wanted to add clever, genius, wonderful and so much more but frankly it seemed a little ‘mauve’ of me. But having said that the ‘thank you’ is very, very sincere – I won’t smile here and if you are reading (or have read) my book I know you will know why – Cat’s look just a little sinister when we smile unfortunately – I personally think it is the teeth some say it’s the whiskers though.

I’m thanking everyone who has bought my book and launched it, and in turn me, into the rarified atmosphere of the top 100 books on Amazon.com.

So of course we are celebrating here at Cat World HQ now that my book is where it belongs in the top 100 humour books on Amazon.com

It goes without saying that I will be delighted if you all leave glowing reviews after you have read it and of course make sure that you bully your friends to go to Amazon.com and order my book – and you can still get it before Christmas, which is pretty good isn’t it?

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So thanks again I do really appreciate you all spending your hard earned folding stuff on the work of a wonderful and tremendously talented Cat – I hope you do exactly what I intend with the book and laugh until you have to put it down and look on the internet for a cure of hiccups!

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London Bridge and Shepherds Pie – It’s The Cat’s Blog

It is worth mentioning, because it’s a compliment that a lot of people give me when they write to me, that readers can never guess what they are going to be delighted by and read next on my blog and I suppose that is why it is so amazingly successful.

This Cat loves to entertain and put a smile on his wonderfully cuddly readers faces and I hope that I always do, in fact judging by the very large number of books being sold around the world, especially at Amazon.com, I imagine that my readers are regularly entertained and recommend my blog, my book and my website to all of their friends.

I know how much everybody enjoyed my blog a while ago about London Bridge and so I thought I would post a picture that the ever charming daughter of my translator sent me recently.

My translator’s daughter is called Jo Woodcock and she is one of those famous humans who acts and if you type in ‘Jo Woodcock actress’ in say www.google.com or www.bing.com you’ll be able to see this picture of her and many more.

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For your information this picture (above)comes from the BBC www.bbc.co.uk and is a still from the series ‘Land Girls’ which is on your screens in the UK soon and on BBC America around Christmas too I believe.

Anyway enough of humans here is the picture.

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When you look at the picture does it strike you that the guy on the left looks as though his batteries have run out and he has just come to a stop people in the street do that a lot don’t they tee hee! I suppose he has stopped on his way to a job he hates and is thinking “maybe I could call in sick? I just really don’t want to spend another eight hours bored stiff when I could be a… professional wreck diver in the Caribbean!”

The woman behind him is obviously humming to herself and, “think we’ll have Shepherd’s Pie tonight mmh lovely that might make Nigel take more notice of me and it is a cheap, filling and tasty meal – oh I am glad I’m not a vegetarian!”

This Cat loves Shepherd’s Pie by the way, especially when it is cooked with beef and not lamb, actually did you know that when ‘Shepherd’s Pie’ is cooked with beef it is known as ‘Cottage Pie’ and when ‘Cottage Pie’ is covered in Cheese (preferably a very orange Cheese like Double Gloucester) it’s called ‘Cumberland Pie’ I love English cooking it’s so inventive without being pretentious like some cuisines I could mention but you all know by now I mean ‘french’ don’t you!

It’s possible that some of my lovely cuddly readers are deprived – and don’t you have to be careful when you type that word? And not adding a rogue ‘a’ instead of the ‘i!’ – and that they might not have enjoyed the delightful taste of Shepherd’s Pie, Cottage Pie or indeed Cumberland Pie you poor things and so to put that right here are some pictures of what they look like and a recipe – yes that is right I am the Cat that keeps on giving! But then it is the season for that and also to be jolly apparently.

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Just think what a change a simple (and it is simple) dish of Shepherd’s Pie or any of its other incarnations will be over the holiday season, when you are stuffed to the brim with rich food and if you have any leftover meat and you don’t know what to do with it you are in for a real treat.

THE RECIPE

Boil and mash 2lbs (1kg) of big, floury potatoes, adding a thick slice of butter and some cream as you mash.

Soften 2 large onions, peeled and chopped, in a little butter. If the fancy takes you you can add a few diced carrots and celery now. Some people also add Baked Beans or peas – basically if you like ‘it’ throw ‘it’ in – within reason of course Prawns don’t work in Shepherd’s Pie – but they really do in the other ‘Pie’ variation on the mashed potato topped theme ‘Ocean Pie’ which is all fish, delightful cod, delicious haddock, wonderful smoked salmon more fish than you can imagine and I once imagined a swimming pool filled to the brim with Prawns – sorry I have to stop for a minute and regain my composure.

Where was I – oh yes – Onions!

When the onions are golden, add about a 1.5 pounds (600g) of minced lamb and cook it until is thoroughly browned.

At this point you can add salt (if you want to), pepper, thyme, a bit of marjoram, some sage and some ground rosemary and dribble one or two drops of Worcestershire Sauce over the mixture.

Next add about two thirds of a pint (350ml) of stock and allow the mixture simmer gently for 30 minutes or so.

When the meat is soft put the lamb mixture into a shallow baking dish and add the topping of mashed potato, dot it with a little butter and bake for about 35 – 40 minutes in a hot oven. You will know that it is cooked when the surface of the mashed potato is crisp.

This recipe will serves 4 adults or one peckish Cat.

Note

Don’t worry about weighing anything or indeed the weight of the ingredients at all this recipe can cope with twice as much meat or half as much, especially if you have a near empty larger/purse and a few vegetables to replace the meat.

Some tips

Here are a few tips to make sure that the Shepherd’s Pie is not just good but divine, make sure that the onions are nicely browned, use cream, butter and milk when you mash the potatoes for a very creamy result and if you fancy a bit of extra spice add pepper to the mash.

If your meat mixture is a little runny either take out some of the stock and make a wonderfully tasty gravy with it or use a sheet of tin foil to catch any drips that don’t bubble over the mashed potato and form a wonderful crunchy crust.

Of course the mashed potato crust should be crisp on top and you can achieve this easily by either pull a fork across its surface to create “furrows” or pile it up into clouds with a spoon.

Truly flexible

As I said above you can use beef instead of lamb and turn the recipe into Cottage Pie. In addition you can add a layer of grated cheese and made a Cumberland Pie (below in a picture I have just borrowed – personally I would add even more Cheese, then a little more Cheese on top of that! But then like most Cats I like Cheese).

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This is a great way to enjoy a hearty meal in these cold snowy days and better still it is one of the ways to help stretch your budget, after the bankers have ruined the world’s economy and the politicians and other idiots have turned a financial disaster into a monetary Tsunami, and to eat heartily but cheaply is not only a bonus to some it is a way of life.

Gosh I didn’t expect to be giving recipes and cooking tips when I started this blog all those ages ago, but then I suppose this is why my blog is so popular I cover all sorts of subjects.

Actually just there is a little example of a pet project I have – why can’t we create a word that combines the two words all and sorts into ‘alsorts’ but I better not get started on that subject!

As usual do let me know if any or all of the above was helpful/interesting – I would hate to think that I was talking to myself and my thousands of fans had just suddenly disappeared!

Author’s background information

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in history, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Is Ginger Getting Rid Of A Couple Of Rivals?

Here at Cat World HQ the nerve centre of Catdom and all things Cat we get a lot of things sent to us, some are wonderful, I love the presents and pictures, but frankly the cakes and sponges are a little bit too much and the ones which are made from Cat food are definitely crossing some sort of line somewhere.

Still enough of that and speaking of gifts – I would like another iPad if anyone is feeling generous, Dave the Cat took his hat off and put it on top of my lovely iPad and I can’t seem to get the stain off the glass! Goodness knows what he has under his hat and frankly ‘goodness’ can keep what he knows to himself if it is all the same to everyone. I find that old ‘goodness’ is a little slack mouthed don’t you?

One of the more interesting things that came through the internet recently was a photograph from Wikileaks (probably) and it is a very interesting picture, if say for instance you just happen to a friend of a certain Cat called Ginger and you haven’t seen a couple of acquaintances ‘Monte’ and ‘Po’ for a little while.

Now I’m never one to cast stones – I leave that to holy people with shaggy beards and discharge slips from asylums, but what on earth is Ginger up to in this picture? On first viewing you really have to wonder don’t you!

When I asked Ginger he said that there was nothing to worry about, they were just posing for one of those really dreadful pictures that circulate on the internet and says something like “Friends Forever” then when he looked at the picture he said “that’s odd the photographer was on the other side of the wall in front of us!”

Now Ginger has gone into hiding complaining that he is being stalked, I think Ginger is being stupid and even Dave the Cat said that Ginger was acting like a Cat without a hat or a clue!

And as I said Monte and Po are still missing do you think that the stalker was stalking them and not Ginger? Frankly their coats are in better nick than Ginger’s and they’re sort of coat that a Chinese furrier would love to run up into a jacket or two, so I have to stop here and go out to post some more LOST posters – if anyone spots Monte or Po please let me know here thecat@thecatsdiary.com thats my email address of course – cool isn’t it?

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Please don’t forget that Amazon.com have very kindly completely restocked my best selling book – Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary – and that of course means that you can easily order a copy now and have it delivered before the Christmas day, they say that my book makes a wonderful present and who am I to disagree?

Get your copy of Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary – or better still copies here Amazon.com and of course you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can also enjoy a lot of other stuff free online games, jokes, and so much more.

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The Snow Has Decided To Cover Everything

If this were ‘Santa Time’ and it was December the 25th looking out of my window would be a pleasure because snow is festive, but this much on a work day is totally unacceptable.

As you can see from the photograph this is what I have to wade through in order to get the the Barrandov movie studio today.

Mind you if you are an autograph collector then you are going to have a field day because I have left loads of paw prints and as all my loyal and lovely fans and readers know ‘pawing’ is the way I autograph their books.

But speaking of leaving ‘marks’ in the snow I would like to complain about Dogs (yet again, the yellow marks they leave in the snow are totally unacceptable, we all know that but do they? Of course they don’t, and they aerial widdle to their hearts content along the pathway and in fact all the way to the studio.

Dogs are disgusting and they terrible thing is that they know it – we have all seen Dogs, in all weathers, rolling in fresh p** oh the thought of it is just too awful for a Cat with sensibilities to consider.

Now don’t get me wrong I like Dogs the shaggy German Shepherd Dog I keep here has his uses as you will know from my amazingly successful and desperately funny bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’

‘Ben,’ that is the dozily shaggy hounds name is great to snuggle up next to in the depths of winter – well about now actually – although sometimes he smells as though he ‘rolls’ in ‘something’ if you know what I mean!

When he smells like that you have to weigh up ‘warmth’ against ‘odour’ and that is a terrible choice that even Sophie would find difficult to make, but leaving Merly Streep aside for a moment, I bet my female readers and fans can identify with that conundrum!

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For anyone who hasn’t bought my book or worse never heard of ‘me’ (if that is at all possible) until today there are several things you can do to save yourself so follow these instructions very carefully.

The first is to click here and buy my book Amazon.com and the second is to go to my www – wickedly wonderful website and catch up – you have a lot of catching up to do – and if you want to kill two birds with one paw (so to speak) then you could choose to buy my book at my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com while you spend hours learning about probably the most famous, talented and modest Cat around.

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Sad News!

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Today I am saying goodbye to Randolph the Mountaineering Cat who unfortunately yesterday met a mountain that he wasn’t able to climb successfully.

You know I met Randolph the Mountaineering Cat on his travels while I was doing research for my next book ‘The Travelogue,’ unfortunately the chapter with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat in it was ‘bought’ by the country where we met and so it won’t be in my next blockbusting book.

Actually I am finding that a lot of governments, mayors and anyone connect with countries, cities or towns which feature in my soon to be published Travelogue are ‘buying out’ chapters related to their countries, cities or towns so that they don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of being ‘exposed’ in what is the most honest travel book every written by a Cat!

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This purchasing of chapters means that the book is constantly getting smaller and in turn means that I in the interests of value for money have to keep traveling to new countries, of course the extra work is annoying but let’s face it the ‘hush money’ or as some call them ‘bribes’ come in very handy – just ask any african politician or sporting body committee member!

What I can say without breaking the confidentiality agreements I have pawed is that I first bumped into Randolph the Mountaineering Cat on the way to Nepal as he was enduring a stop over at a shabby and rather smelly airport in a rapidly developing country that will one day take America’s place as the leader of the world… sorry I have to stop there for two reasons the first is mentioned above and the second is that I am laughing so much I just can’t type.

After that, our paths seemed to cross as we went from country to country Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was off to climb yet another mountain and I was… well I actually can’t tell you too much about what I was doing or you won’t buy the next book and that would be a little like shooting myself in the Paw with a keyboard! Mmh ‘shooting myself in the paw with a keyboard’ doesn’t sound right does it? But I think you know what I mean.

You know in the short time that we had together Randolph the Mountaineering Cat and I got on rather well and shared a curry together and later the same toilet. It was then while we were both in a lot of pain that something he said stuck in my mind as the dysentery did its worst “chaps and Cats that suffer together form a bond that nothing can break!” I knew exactly what he meant and I also knew that I would possibly sometimes miss-quote Randolph the Mountaineering Cat but I would never forget him or what he said.

Sadly yesterday that bond was broken but not but me. I heard that Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was swinging one pawedly from snowy boulder to snowy boulder in a scree 6,000ft above Base Camp 3 when something went wrong and he slipped.

You know, we got on so well that I had even arranged for him to have ‘exploratory’ talks with my translator John Woodcock in the hope that with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat’s amazing adventures and our very own Mr. Woodcock’s feeble talent together they could produce a bestseller similar to my work a masterpiece of feline literary genius – ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ available here Amazon.com if you are one of the few people on planet earth who haven’t bought it yet and of course my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can buy my book, read my blog and get so much more including loads of free online games both festive and not so festive.

It’s a shame and a great loss that as with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat that book is lost forever.

So in conclusion I would just like to say that Randolph the Mountaineering Cat was a fine Cat and a good friend and I know that it is not only me who will miss him because the world is a poorer place without him and his adventurous kind!

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Oh take all of what I said about Randolph the Mountaineering Cat back, he has just called me, he’s in town and we’re going out for Prawns on Friday. I asked him about the photograph and he said that it was the first in a series of ‘shots’ taken for a magazine of him clawing his way to the summit of Katmandu.

Apparently the photoshoot was supposed to be ‘dramatic,’ I didn’t have the heart to tell him how ‘dramatic’ the story that was that I was given about the first picture in the series! I don’t know you can never trust the media these days. Still I am looking forward to catching up with Randolph the Mountaineering Cat almost as much as I am looking forward to the Prawns.

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French Christmas Carols Are Odd!

Not only are french Christmas carols odd they are of course rip off of English ones, for example the good old ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ or ‘Partridge in a Pear Tree’ becomes ‘La foi de la loi’ or ‘The faith of the law!’But the french have tried to disguise the fact that they have stolen the English Christmas Carol by adding a bizarreness to it and that achieve this by adding words about their favourite past time – eating.

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So instead of a ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ we have ‘La foi de la loi’ or ‘The faith of the law’ which you will have cleverly noticed has noting to do with food – ah these frenchies are clever and there isn’t a Partridge or a Pear tree in sight.

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They sing this little song at Christmas in the west of France and as befits a song about food disguised as a song about the law, the french insists that the song is sung “avec solennite,” (with solemnity) this Cat thinks that that is probably not easy when you look at the words to the 11th verse!

So how do we know that the french stole the song when it has been so heavily disguised – well the tune is a dead give away and I suppose you are going to have to take this honest Cat’s word for that but I can also add that the sequence of the song is the same as in English because although the french do so much that is different from the normal world they haven’t yet managed to count differently to the rest of the world much to their annoyance.

So without further ado let’s strike up the band and sing ‘La foi de la loi,”avec solennite’ of course!

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a good stuffing without bones (it doesn’t quite have the ring of a ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’/’Partridge in a Pear Tree’ does it?)

Now just add the rest below!

Two breasts of veal,

Three joints of beef,

Four pigs’ trotters,

Five legs of mutton,

Six partridges with cabbage,

Seven spitted rabbits,

Eight plates of salad,

Nine dishes for a chapter of canons,

Ten full casks,

Eleven beautiful full-breasted maidens (would the french know what to do with these?)

Twelve musketeers with their swords

I don’t know about you, but it just doesn’t do it for me! I miss the Lords a Leaping and the Five Gold Rings but then maybe i am old fashioned, still if you are very good and need a laugh let me know and I will tell you all about the very weird Scottish version of this great English Carol ‘strange’ is a word that doesn’t come close to describing it – yes the french and the scots have a lot in common.

Great News

Amazon.com have done what they described as an “emergency restock” so that then now have enough copies my best selling book, they like me are surprised and delighted by just how many people have shown the good taste to buy not only a copy of my masterpiece of a book for themselves but also to buy four or five spare copies to give to treasured friends and relations.

So don’t miss out on having my wonderful book delivered well before the noel day order it now.Yes drop everything – what did you think I meant!

Get your copy or better still copies here Amazon.com and of course you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can also enjoy a lot of other stuff free online games, jokes, and so much more.

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How To ‘Sign’ Christmas

Have you ever wanted to know how to say “Happy Christmas” in sign language and be able to wish your friends with hearing loss a “Happy Christmas?”

I know I would want to if I were human! Sadly paws don’t ‘do’ sign language very well, although it is worth remembering that as well as understanding human speech Cats can and do lip read – yes you didn’t know that did you?

Here is the perfect and simplest way to say Happy Christmas in sign language using ASL (American Sign Language), it is by no means the only way to do that because sign language is an amazingly varied and rich language but most deaf people are very clever at interpreting what you ‘say’ and will be able to understand what you are signing happily.

There are two basic signs that you have to master to say “Happy Christmas” in sign language the first (below) is ‘Happy’ (obviously) and involves holding your hands (which I must say I envy you having) straight out in front of your body and then twirling them in different direction as indicated by the nice bald man and handy arrows in the picture.

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Once you have done that the second sign is equally as simple and basically comprises the sign letter for ‘C’ a curl made up of your fingers and thumbs waved from right to left and if you add that to the first sign you have “Happy Christmas” in sign language.

Isn’t it nice to think that thanks to this wonderful Cat you can sign Happy Christmas I think so and wish I could but the closest I have got with my paws is “have cash” – and that is not something you want to advertise in public in snowy Prague one of the cities currently competing for “Pickpocketing Capital of the World.”

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Don’t forget that Amazon.com have restocked my best selling book and that means that you can still order it now and have it delivered before the noel day, they say that my book makes a wonderful present and who am I to disagree?

Get your copy or better still copies here Amazon.com and of course you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com where you can also enjoy a lot of other stuff free online games, jokes, and so much more.

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Ginger Is At It Again!

Why are all slightly unbalanced Cats called ‘Ginger?’ If you read my blog or visit my www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com you’ll be more than familiar with one of my best pals who mostly goes by the name of ‘Ginger,’ and indeed you may remember vividly his ‘cooler kid’ story.

My pal Ginger is not the only Ginger Cat who’s ‘balance’ you would question, but it doesn’t end there, ‘Ginger’ Cats are more often than not just plain naughty which is yet another trait in the shadowy, larcenous end of the Cat family tree where the ‘Gingers’ hang out doing a marvellous job of finding trouble.

The reason I ask why all Ginger Cats are ‘the way they are’ is because yet another Ginger has been caught being naughty, generally annoying folk and in the process getting himself into all sorts of official tepid water.

The ‘ Ginger’ here is a Cat who lives in Swansea in South Wales, Swansea’s not what you might call a ‘happening place’ there’s no urban beat in South Wales let alone Swansea the inhabitants would, in fact if they were honest, call the place ‘dormant’ rather than just sleepy, all in all Swansea is a pretty quiet place with not a lot to do in the long snow covered wintry nights – but enough of the Travelogue (the title of my next book of course – which happily doesn’t feature Swansea I have to say), here’s more about ‘Welsh Ginger.’

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‘Welsh Ginger’ has a hobby! It’s the sort of hobby that he and other enthusiasts can only practice at night when few are about and all good humans and nice Cats are tucked up in bed fast asleep.

‘Welsh Ginger’ went to far this time though when his human was woken up by Police officers urgently banging on the front door in the very dark and early hours of the morning.

‘Welsh Ginger’s’ sleepy, bleary eyed owner was told by the Police that they were responding to a ‘999’ call it is the same as a ‘911’ call except that it is faster and easier to dial on a digital phone obviously – mind you this Cat has always wondered why humans didn’t pick the first number on the phone dial to jab three times in a hurry if there was a need for any or all of the emergency services? But then that has nothing to do with this story or indeed human logic!

‘Welsh Ginger’s’ human sleepily said that the emergency call was nothing to do with him and took the officers into the front room where he kept the phone to prove it! It was then that ‘Welsh Ginger’ might have known that the game was ‘up.’ well at least for the moment, if he had been awake!

Unfortunately for ‘Welsh Ginger’ he had dialed 999 to make the hoax call probably giggling sleepily and then nodded off next to the phone where he was, according to the police report, “found to be reclining next to the unhooked phone with one of his paws on the keyboard.” Oops!

When we at The Cat’s Diary had a chat with – let’s call him ‘Telephone Ginger,’ because for some reason ‘Welsh Ginger’ make him sound a bit dim doesn’t it, he said.

“What can I say? I’m vexed – I was caught! But I’d do it again, in a whisker, in fact if no one is looking I’d do it now, can you pass me the phone… oh no that’s how I got caught last time!”

‘Telephone Ginger’ went on to say that he liked not only playing with the phone but also making hoax calls but that it seems that he had made one or two fatal errors.

“I don’t think I should use the phone again when I am tired, but I don’t think that was the only reason I got caught, it’s uncanny but I it feels like someone was on the other end listening!”

This clever Cat never said that Ginger Cats were that bright did I?

When asked about the incident a Police spokesman said “that he would like to thank Ginger for making a slow Tuesday night just a little more exciting, ‘cos you see, nothing much goes on in Swansea!”

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I’ve Gone All Christmasy And Put Loads Of New Free On-Line Games On My Site

From today until somewhere around the 12th day of Christmas, or the end of January if I am feeling a little ‘Russian,’ (because the Russians celebrate the New Year’s holiday until almost the end of January) you will be able to celebrate Christmas with me on my www – wickedly wonderful website because I have added a lot of Christmasy treats like flashing Christmas lights and falling. But don’t take my word for it check out the snow and Christmas lights for yourself here www.thecatsdiary.com.

And not only do the Christmas lights flash but if you are getting more than a little frustrated by the Christmas crowds in the shops, the cost of all the Christmas presents you have to buy for people you hardly know and generally drowned in Christmas spirit you can get your own back on my perfect website just run your cursor over the pretty flashing Christmas lights and see what happens – tee hee!

No please don’t thank me it is all in a day’s work for a techno Cat who simply wants to entertain humans everywhere. Oh and of course to get them to buy his book which luckily you can do on my marvellous site www.thecatsdiary.com or here Amazon.com and if you want to order multiple copies well who am I to stand in your way? I’m far to fabulous and polite to do that!

I suppose most websites that aren’t www-wickedly wonderful websites, run by a clever, kind and cuddly Cat would just stop there with a few flashing Christmas lights and some expensive special effects!

But and it is a big Christmas ‘but,’I am a Cat you loves to give and of course entertain and that means that I have gone that extra mile for my readers this Christmas or as they would have it in Europe I have gone the extra kilometre and added even more of my amazingly popular online games, these on-line games are as usual free, fun and fully tested by me, I loved them as I know you will so enjoy them and if they help you cope with Christmas or indeed pass the time until ‘the’ day and you get your pressies that is all I ask for – apart from the “buying my book bit of course tee hee!”

Not all of the free on-line games are Christmasy play the Ice Slide Game and you can catapult your favourite unsuspecting polar animal as far as you can into the snowy distance. Obviously you have to help that nice polar animal avoid the snowy hazards as he or she flies through the air – did anyone say addictive? They certainly did!

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The more Christmasy Free On-line Games include:

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Holly A Christmas Tale Delux

A great game where you can enjoy a new version of what is regarded as a true holiday classic!

Holly: A Christmas Tale Deluxe tells the story of a young woman who falls asleep on Christmas Eve and dreams that she is helping Santa Claus deliver toys to children around the world. But is she really asleep? Or is what is happening real?

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The Toy Factory

Where you help Simon the Elf recover all the toys of Santa before midnight because by midnight the presents have to start being delivered and Simon is nowhere near ready and worried what Santa will say when he finds out!

I have added many more free on-line games, but don’t let me spoil the surprise just on just click here The Cat’s Game Page and you can always be sure that The Cat’s games are exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.

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Spammer of the Year Award

Hi All,

As a successful blogger, website owner and general all round wonder I get a lot of spam – it comes to this blog, it comes to my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com and it comes to my personal email address – thecat@thecatsdiary.com. Most of the spam is from some arse or the other advertising rubbish that wasn’t freely available before the internet you know the stuff replica designer crap badly made in China, doggy loans, equally dodgy insurance and very dodgy invitations to get rich quick Nigerian scams, escorts, pills that make bits of men err more err ‘prominent’ all of a sudden and so on.

However there are some spammers who try to make conversation or indeed pass a compliment about a brilliant Cat’s blog or www – wickedly wonderful website in the hope that vanity will prevail and the flattered feline will drop his guard for a moment and allow the spammer to comment on his blog say for instance, then the flood gates are open and the spammer can post any amount of annoying rubbish on what is a brilliant blog and in turn spoil it for all.

So I thought that I would, just for a moment, reward a spammer or two with “The Cat’s Two Finger Trophy” (yes it is remarkably like the Football World Cup Trophy but with Churchill’s golden saluting fingers sticking out of the top tee hee) and let the spammers know that although they stand about as much chance of getting through my security as I do of winning the Nobel Peace Prize their nonsense is read by me and then deleted.

Two Finger Trophy.png

The award for the most persistent spammer goes to – some arsehole at a betting site with over two hundred spams a month and rising. Happily this rubbish gets filtered out by a marvellous, friendly feline, but I’d blush if I was to tell you who that feline was!

The award for the worst google translate phrase from the original (probably Indian) goes to – some idiot at a Breitling Watch replica website. But it could also have come form the same address just insert a different ridiculously expensive designer watch product and you get the same replica rubbish, for “Your phrase is matchless…” when commenting on my ‘It Was Snowing!’blog?

The award for the most offensive spam goes to – Someone called ‘biking’ at a website for Irish escorts, sadly I can’t report here what they said because young people and Cats use this blog and my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com. Mind you! I would like to know if you were in the market for an ‘escort’ and I think we all know what one of those is, would you choose an Irish one?

The Award for the most nonsensical comment goes to some plonker at a Tattoo website for “Excuse, I have thought and have removed the idea”. Mmh how nice!

The Award for the most irrelevant comment goes to some Chinese site for – “For a long time I here was not.” I too for a long time I was here not especially when I am some where else place – what think you?

The Award for the best disguised spam goes to another escort agency for “Pretty interesting place you’ve got here. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read more on that blog soon.”

Of course I would reproduce the web and email addresses for all my winners but that would sort of shoot myself in the paw don’t you think?

Still while we are on the subject of pests on the web aren’t Google doing everything they can to become as unpopular as Microsoft – just thought I would mention that! Here in the Czech republic they are not the dominant search engine and so they do everything to displace the search engine that is dominant called www.seznam.cz.

Google advertise at tram stops, on the metro, at the airport and whenever you log on to search on google (a rare event for me I use bing) you type in google.com in the address line expecting to go to a site in English and as the page loads google’s spy network realises that you are in the Czech republic and delivers google.cz which is annoying when it is in a language that this English and Cat speaker doesn’t understand and it does it every single time without fail – how annoying is that?

Just a quick note on the trophy design.

Being English I had to feel for the English in general even though I live in exile when first Russia and then Qatar won the world cup competition to host the game and earn vast amounts of money unless of course you are South Africa who lost billions – or should that be ‘lost’ billions?

The trouble with the English bid and the English is that they play by the rules – although I have to say I think that it showed just what a richard-head (dickhead to any adults reading) young prince Willie is when he said that three world cup delegates had personally promised him that they were voting for England and then in the final count England received just two votes and one was their own har ha – what an idiot and Cameron as well made an absolute twot of himself. (The word ‘twot’ is very much like the word ‘twat’ but the word twot can be used in mixed company har ha).

Two Finger Trophy.png

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