Ok so the title is a little wrong and I know that I will get dozens of letters from the same person in Australia complaining that I forgot to mention Canadian, Australian and New Zealand English, but if I did that then I would have to mention all of the countries who use English as an official language and to my reckoning that is 83 other countries where English is either the official language or is widely spoken.

If you are interested here and I know that Mr. Snoggins of Toowoomba Queensland Australia will be the 83 countries in question are:-

Antigua and Barbuda
The Bahamas
Barbados
Belize
Botswana
Cameroon
Canada
Dominica
Fiji
The Gambia
Ghana
Grenada
Guyana
India
Ireland
Jamaica
Kenya
Kiribati
Lesotho
Liberia
Madagascar
Malawi
Malta
Marshall Islands
Mauritius
Micronesia
Namibia
Nauru
New Zealand
Nigeria
Pakistan
Palau
Papua New Guinea
Philippines
Rwanda
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Samoa
Seychelles
Scotland
Sierra Leone
Singapore
Solomon Islands
South Africa
Sudan
Swaziland
Tanzania
Tonga
Trinidad and Tobago
Tuvalu
Uganda
United States of America
Vanuatu
Wales
Zambia
Zimbabwe
American Samoa
Anguilla
Bermuda
British Virgin Islands
Cayman Islands
Christmas Island
Cook Islands
Falkland Islands
Gibraltar
Guam
Guernsey
Hong Kong
Isle of Man
Jersey
Montserrat
Netherlands Antilles
Niue
Norfolk Island
Northern Mariana Islands
Pitcairn Islands
Puerto Rico
Saint Helena
Tristan da Cunha)
Tokelau
Turks and Caicos Islands
U.S. Virgin Islands

Oh look at that I have mentioned all of them after all oops! Anyway I hope that the information above is not only useful but also pacifies Mr. Snoggings and I can get on with the point of this blog which may eventually actually have something to do with the title – what fun!

As a best selling and world renown author (you have bought my latest book haven’t you?) I tend to use the English language rather often and that, I am afraid is only because the Cat language has about as much chance as being used universally as Welsh.

During my time up to my elbows in the good old English language, which I have to say I really rather do adore, I have unearthed some odd phrases and sayings and from time to time I thought it would be a nice idea to drop one or two from a great height into my blog.

Then at the same time play with other sayings and then lastly create one or two of my own which you have my permission to use as long as I get a credit in the reference.

Ok so do you like the idea of this game? I thought that you would, well those that understand what I have written so far probably do, the others I see have wondered off, bless them.

So where shall we start, well Julie Andrews said that “we should start at the very beginning,” which frankly Julie is a little obvious isn’t?

Anyway here is one little saying that I have just thought of and you can adopt for your very own and when you use it, it will show just how clever you are.

In response to someone asking you something that you don’t know the answer to you say, “I haven’t the bloggiest!”

Mmmh maybe it seemed funnier in my head than on paper – much like the unfortunate Ricky Gervais’s recent work – for those of you who have been under a rock for a number of years Ricky Gervais cowrote “The Office” which was funny on one side of the Atlantic at least!

Then sadly Ricky lost his ability to be funny. In fact I am thinking of setting up a fund to see if we can raise enough cash to see if we can get a new sense of humour grafted onto poor Ricky I have already spoken to surgeons and they say that it can be done, it won’t be cheap but they might just be able to save him.

Still this isn’t doing what we set out to do and that is to discuss English sayings and phrases, so unless you have lost the will to live by now here are two with Cat additives.

In response to someone telling you to “have a great day!” You can now reply. “Don’t worry about me I always have a great day – I think that they put something in my water your know!”

It is delightfully off putting and in a gentle way that isn’t too offensive.

The second and last saying, yes I have things to do and a life to lead too you know, is meant for times when you are thinking about people less fortunate than yourself, in my case that, at the moment, is when I am thinking about poor Ricky Gervais or Prince, (that is Prince of the ‘Charles’ variety rather than the small transexual one) and I am wondering just what it would be like to be ‘them!’

“When the shoe is on the other foot – I always fall over!”

But then as you can see from the picture there are some consolations for being prince, the small transgender one got to squeeze Sheena Easton not in uniform and the Prince of the Charles variety gets to be the judge of the Welsh Guard’s breast enlargement contest, open to Guardsmen and Guardswomen of course.

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