Can You Imagine?


I heard today that there are several rivers in Europe that are frozen over because it is so cold, here if you are interested (in Prague where am currently) it is minus nine degrees C! Now I have no idea what that is in good old fashioned English degrees of cold, but I imagine that it could quite easily be described as “bloody cold” and very close to “Brass Monkeys” – ask me to explain the latter low temperature terminology at your peril har ha.

Anyway one could rightly describe Europe and, I believe, all sorts of other places where my wonderful book “Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary” (still available at is actually even more popular like the sublime US of A as icy.

So what is happening? Global Warming? Mmh me thinks not, correct me if I am wrong but doesn’t the title “Global Warming” tend to sort of suggest that we all should be clip clopping around in Hawaiian shirts, shorts and flip flops, well the humans anyway, flip flops just don’t suit me.

Oh I pray that the idiots like Bono and Al the Gore who have been going around getting fat telling us just how bad we are and how dreadful the planet is going to be because we didn’t clean the corners of our bedrooms properly, are wrong!

Sadly I don’t suppose they are and of course all the time they fly around the world telling us that we are all going to fry, they are proving themselves right, because they are adding to the pollution that they jabber on about so much. Its just that they are so… so… aren’t they, gosh even the Pope isn’t as holy as Bono is he?

Mmh now where is the point of this blog, what have I done with it, oh look there it is nice and safe.

So the frozen rivers huh? By the way -9C is around -16F or in other words very chilly and that is the beginning (again) of my point, it is cold, some say – well the BBC News and you believe what they say at your peril I know – the coldest winter on record and the records go back to around the 16th Century here in Pres Bush’s Old Europe.

If that is the case then just imagine this! The River Thames (in London for those who are geographically challenged) used to freeze over most years from the middle (sort of) of the 14th century until and get this, because it was news to me until I started to get interested in frost, (and don’t you say anything about having too much time on ones paws will you?) until the 19th Century and in fact that was the sort of ‘norm’ for most European cities.

Most European Cities had “Frost Fairs” well the ones with rivers of course had “Frost Fairs” and isn’t it nice to see that they liked a little bit of understatement – frost fairs I ask you!

Of course Bono and Al the Gore would be going around saying what we need is to to get all of the governments of the world together to spend vast fortunes inventing chemicals that would create a sort of umbrella to keep the heat in and they would probably come up with a great name for the effect of course and make a movie about it and ramble on about their ideas for a Greenhouse effect at every opportunity they could find.

Would you believe that in 1683 the ice on the River Thames was 11 inches or 28 cms thick in the middle of London and the North Sea froze for several miles out to sea unbelievably and the ‘great minds’ of the time happily kept their mouth’s shut.

And it was actually mild in London in 1683, in Frome in Somerset the ground was frozen to a depth of four feet and that says chilly more than anything you could think of doesn’t it?

So who thinks that we are in for what they called the “Little Ice Age” from the 14th century to the 19th century, well no one in their right mind of course and that is because the weather bless it is so unpredictable, can someone mention that to Bono and Al the Gore before they get us to worry ourselves to death.


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A Word About Porridge Or Oatmeal


Did you know that it is Porridge time? I personally am making several gallons at the moment which I did planned to make a coat out of for myself and stay worm because I was told that Porridge kept you warm. But apparently that is not the way to stay warm using Porridge.

You eat it! Apparently! So I have cooked up a batch, it takes several days in the microwave but happily it doesn’t leave a dirty saucepan afterwards.

I cooked and cooked the stuff because i wanted to get to a very cream consistency and had to wait for the starch in the Oats to burst, when this happens Porridge takes on a whole new taste which is very creamy and will compliment the pints of cream that it will be mixed with.

The reason for the big batch is that you can keep Porridge in the fridge for several days and as it is a pain in the “ahem!” to make it is a great idea to make loads.

Did you know that if you suffer from eczema you can help it by putting a couple of handfuls of Porridge in a muslin bag and hang it under the stream of hot water that you run when you have a bath. The water is cloudy and something in it and the Porridge helps to cure eczema.

I have no idea whether bathing in Porridge makes you good to eat though, if you are grown ups you will have to try that one at home.

Happy New One!

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I Have Arrived!

Is it true to say that you have a arrived when the level of spam on your blog reaches 20 a day? If so then I have arrived!This good looking Cat is getting at least 20 spam comments a day these days which is ok but…

Why do people spam blogs can anyone tell me, what on earth is the purpose and what can be gained. You spammers out there should know that your websites that offer increase is size, reduction in fat and an answer to all of my financial problems don’t get any publicity on my blog if you spam it, I just gather you all up in a big fat smelly messy bundle and delete your stupid messages.

It all seems like such a waste of time doesn’t it.

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I Had A Scare Over Christmas

As the headline says I had something of a scare over Christmas! Aren’t headlines good! They are a great way of scanning a page and discovering if you can be bothered to read an article, obviously that comment refers to everyone else’s headlines in print and on the www – wobbly wide web and not to my blog which is always wonderful, so I have been told.

So on to the subject of the headlines. The humans here like movies and they settled down to watch “JFK” a movie about – well “JFK,” and if you have been living in a cave since the ’50’s or are indeed disgustingly young you may need to know here that “JFK” was the brand name for a US President called John F Kennedy, who was sadly assassinated before he really got into his Presidential stride and since then there have been all sorts of theories, most of them conspiracy ones, concerning how and why, what and wherefore, you know the drill.

Anyway the movie was much more than just a little dull and I drifted off to sleep, well a good looking Cat needs sleep! I woke up later in the middle of another movie, though at the time I didn’t know that it was another movie and could have sworn that I had discovered exactly what happened to JFK after the assassination attempt, he had given up politics and gone ‘native’ in a picture called “Dances with Wolves.”

You see movies sometimes confuse me, the main character in the movie “JFK” wasn’t “JFK” he was someone else, in fact all “JFK” did in his own movie was get shot, again something which must have been very depressing indeed, no wonder he gave up politics and a, it has to be said, not very promising acting career I thought!


Unfortunately I occasionally can’t work out which movies are factual, ‘biopics,”fact-ion’ and which are just complete nonsense.

As it turned out incredibly both of the movies I mainly slept through were based on fact (where possible) and if I had watched the end of one and the beginning of the other I might have been better informed, though of course the idea of JFK kicking back for a while and enjoying life is nice.

Actually I believe the poor devil did get the opportunity to do just that! Have you seen the picture of ‘him’ on the yacht with the naked ladies frolicking – oh I know I shouldn’t gossip, but it is fun isn’t it?

Lastly I enjoyed the “Dances with Wolves,” the Wolves reminded me of my Dog a little though like him, the Wolves in the film didn’t actually dance, unless I missed that bit at the beginning and when I tried to speak to someone at the movie studio MGM to find out where they shot the Wolves dancing they said that it wasn’t the studios policy to shoot Wolves, I hung up confused!

Dances with Wolves.jpg

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01 01 2010


So it is only 01 01 2010 that isn’t very impressive is it? Just wait until it is 20 10 2010 now that will be interesting, but frankly I don’t know why!

If you would like to know I have recovered from the noise of the fireworks that you humans let off last night and am now ready for breakfast, I presume it will be something special. Smoked Haddock would be nice and please let’s have it dyed if possible, dyed Smoked Haddock is more authentic don’t you think, if you are eating “yellow fish” then it should be “yellow” shouldn’t it?

Have a good 2010!

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