Doctors report that today the recovering Duke of York was able to practice using a pair of scissors for almost half an hour.
“Few inside royal circles know about the troubles that the brave and very chubby Duke has endured recently,” said a Royal watcher who asked for anonymity just in case their friendship was every exposed.
Sadly it is the case that over the last few year the recovering Duke of York has bravely battled crippling near-bankruptcy but now with the help of his rich friends in oily Azerbaijan he is slowly recovering.
Today’s use of scissors has been described as a “landmark” and it is hoped that one day soon the recovering Duke of York will be able to earn an honest crust and pay his own bills.
However a Doctor treating the Duke said that day was a long way off and the plucky roly poly Duke may never be able to support himself financially because of his love of expensive things that he just can’t afford to buy.