China’s New Supercomputer Is The World’s Fastest

When I read that China’s Tianhe-1A supercomputer had taken the crown as the world’s fastest supercomputer from the US and that the Tianhe-1A was capable of sustained computing of 2.507 petaflops a second – 1.4 times faster than Cray XT5 Jaguar I wouldn’t say that I was all that impressed!

Why I hear you ask – well for one simple reason and that simple reason is I wondered where who the Chinese had stolen the design and blue prints from – let’s face it China’s technology industry is only good at assembling computers designed in the US and of course in the case of Apple designed by an English designer in the US but that bit of information is just jingoistic really – like say for example having the world’s fastest supercomputer.

Below are a few images of my suggestions for what the Chinese computer may look like based on what they have copied so far. Although if it is really designed by the Chinese then it probably looks dreadful – just like the sound of its name.


Actually I was going to add some examples from other computer manufacturers but as I looked through what HP, Dell, Acer and the rest of the bunch had to offer something horrible struck me – their computers are so ugly that they must use Chinese designers already so there was no choice but to use Apple really after all I am an honest Cat.

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What Passes For Din-dins in Russia’s Arctic Circle?

Ok this blog is not for the fainthearted or readers with weak stomachs.

Guess what Yogi’s big brothers in the north of Russia are up to? Well it really isn’t very nice. Bears are so hungry because of a shortage of their usual foods up in the frozen wastes of the Russian Arctic Circle that they are dropping down to the nearest cemetery and tucking into the frozen remains of humans.

Yep I am afraid that is right, graveyard grub is catching on in a big way up where brass monkeys fear to tread and this appalled Cat expects most restaurants in France to start dishing up their version very soon because of course all ‘French Cuisine’ as it is laughingly known comes from other cultures, mainly Italy of course where the people love food and love to cook wonderful delicious food.

Sad to say all the French did was to steal their recipes and get anal about the way the stuff should be served whereas the Italians just think that good food should be served ‘generously’ and if you don’t believe me just think about Pavarotti – he would never have been the size he was if he had eaten Nouveau Cuisine would he?

So back to the Russian Bears and their enormous refrigerators full of – oh! sorry that is just too revolting to think about or write any more about – just like writing about French Cuisine to say nothing about the way the idiots drink their wine.


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A Lot Of People Believe In Signs!

It is true a lot of people think that they see statues of major and minor deities and probably celebrities bleeding and doing all manner of rather revolting things and announce – “It’s a sign!”

Some humans I know believe that they get privileged information from ‘beyond’ – oddly enough the contact ‘beyond’ is often a native American Indian – and are deliriously happy to announce that they have had ‘a sign.’

I tend not to believe any of these ‘signs’ and as I continue to add to my collection of really very stupid signs I have discovered that I don’t believe in the old fashioned tin on a pole type physical signs these days either do you?

Beware of the Grey ones then - Lake district.jpg

I have to ask – what on earth does this sign mean? Do only Red Squirrels drive slowly? Do we have to really keep a look out for the Grey ones because they drive like lunatics? You tell me!

I would also like to know what they are smoking locally? Or is there something in the water in the Lake District of England – it’s where Beatrix Potter started talking to animals isn’t it, so there is definitely something wrong there?

“Oh look there is another Rabbit with clothes on – is that an everyday occurrence in the Lake District I wonder.

clothed rabbit.jpg

It really makes you wonder doesn’t it. Ok before you say anything what so ever I know that I am a talking cat and could even be described as very slightly anthropomorphic (as it were) but I have never ever dressed up in human clothes deliberately, yes there was that incident in my wonderful book my devoted readers will recall when my disguise went a bit wrong and I ended up plastered in make-up wearing a rather flouncy wig but that was an error that a lot of you humans make all too often if you believe what is written in the press.

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Photographic Competition Winners And The Young

Recently the results of a photo competition run by the Sunday Times, the British Tourist Board and the people who don’t do a very good job of looking after the railway network were announced and while the winner of the main prize produced a stunning picture of Corfe Castle in Dorset very near to where this Cat lived a long while ago I have to say, the entrant that this Cat liked best of all was from a much younger person.

Don’t get me wrong – Corfe Castle, Dorset, taken by Antony Spencer is an excellent photograph it has everything that was needed to win a British landscape photo competition and it also proves that Mr. Spencer takes his art very serious and gets up very early in the morning and makes meticulous plans to achieve stunning results.

Smaller Corfe Castle, Dorset.jpg

On the other paw “Breakfast View,” by Taliesin Coombes from Cardiff who won the ‘Young Landscape Photographer of the Year’ competition demonstrates everything that is great about young people he wanted to win a prize, he didn’t want to get up early in the morning and most of all he wanted a full English breakfast, toast and a cup of tea and the result is perfection. One thing I would ask is where is the pepper and salt because I don’t like the brown Sauce (HP)? But what and idea! What a picture! And what a nice tasty breakfast!

smaller Cardiff train station.jpg

You know I have a feeling that if I had submitted the photograph on the cover of my book I would have won first prize, especially if there was a category for “amazingly talented daredevil Cats” – maybe next year, what do you think?


In the meantime if you need to get a copy of my wonderful photograph then happily you can get one or more here at or of course you can always get a signed copy of my marvellous book from my

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Supermarkets Selling Sub-standard Food Are Thieves!

As you probably know I currently live in Prague the capital of the Czech republic and that is because it is in the middle of Europe and it easy enough to hop from one country to another being thoroughly fabulous and star-like. It is also cleaner, cheaper, better looking and safer than London but that is beside the point!

Unfortunately Prague living does have one or two disadvantages the main one apart from the fact that the Czech republic is an atheist country whose people believe that their cleanliness is next only to their godliness – sounds funny you should get a whiff of the people and not only the men!

Anyway this Cat is digressing when he should be digesting after having had his lunch and so he will get to the point – “thankfully I hear some of you say at the back, well my advice stay at the back! What has grabbed my Goat today and actually ever since I arrived in Prague is the standard of their vegetables.


Now this may sound a little odd for a Cat to mumble on about poor quality vegetables, and indeed fruit as well especially Lemons in a land famous for Lemon Tea no less, but and it is a great big one, but, I’ll say it again because it is so big, but the supermarkets here are like fascists and most German to boot and they seem to be only in favour of making ever larger quantities of cash and not bothering about the quality of what they sell to the in-the-main drag general public.

It also gets worse when I tell you just how these supermarkets treat shoplifters, yes before you say anything these shoplifters are filth and I am sure they make what you and I buy with our hard earned even more expensive than it already is but what I saw the other day really made me sick.

Some frail old lady, in sea blue old lady coat, with probably less than a couple of crowns to rub together was seen putting a bottle of washing up liquid into a back pack and not her shopping basket, silly old fool.

I know that was what she did because I watched the young greasy haired un-uniformed store guard – floor walker type as he watched her through a pile of cans of tomatoes, which were on offer, where he was hiding.

Well I thought no more about all of that bizarre behaviour though I couldn’t get the nasty grin that the un-uniformed store guard had on his face, until that is, I got to the check-out and unfortunately had to witness this poor woman pay for the odd two or three things in her shopping basket and then be grabbed by what looked like two black jean clad bullies who managed to give a whole new meaning to the word “man-handling” as they dragged her away to a small office for what might have been a beating I didn’t know what these bullies might do in private they seemed vigourous enough in public.

Worst of all I was not in a position to say anything because the bullies and the silly old thief of an old lady only spoke Czech – a language I refuse to even think about mastering – on grounds of stubbornness.

But the experience did make me think a few things the first is that the old lady was wrong of course, the second was that the un-uniformed bullies used too much force and the old lady should sue them for the bruises that they probably inflicted on both arms the proceeds from which would allow her to buy enough washing-up liquid to last her the rest of her life and hopefully a few more things as well.

However the main thing that this experience did is to allow me to think about crime, supermarkets and vegetables.

And here is what I have been thinking about! When I visit the states and go into a supermarket I can more of less guarantee that the ‘produce’ as the dear Americans call it is fresh, big, tasty, well presented. refrigerated, where necessary, and often even in some cases sprayed with a fine mist of water every so often to keep the ‘produce’ looking tempting to the consumer.

In England where I come from most supermarkets take pride in their “fruit and veg” department as they call it and though in the main the quality is not as high as American it is good and the “fruit and veg” is kept fresh and is therefore just like the American “produce” it is eminently edible after all that is why we buy it to eat it, if we eat fruit and vegetables that is.

So why do supermarkets in the USA and UK bother to keep things fresh and the ones in the Czech republic and frankly quite a few countries within vomiting distance of here, if you get food poisoning from the rubbish that they sell – simply it is because informed shoppers insist on quality unlike Czech shoppers and that means that three of the biggest supermarket chains in the Czech republic offer a lot of substandard produce, which is very rarely chilled or cared for in a way that would lead you to describe it as edibility let alone eminently edible.

When shopping in Prague I regularly pick up Onions that are off, and the same applies to Potatoes and Carrots. This is especially true if these vegetables are in plastic bags because they are either kept in a climate that encourages the bags to sweat or the produce is packed wet all of which makes the rotting process accelerate.

Ok I hear you say “produce/fruit and veg in the Czech republic is crap – move on to your point for God’s sake!”

Well here is my point and I apologise for it taking so long to get to. If the supermarkets such as Tesco, Albert and in particular Billa (where I witnessed the bullying) arrest, man-handle and generally treat shop-lifters who steal from them so badly what should their customers do to them? Because they are selling us food that is fit only for compost and isn’t it theft or something serious to sell goods under false pretences or misrepresentation I think so or indeed not fit for human consumption let alone choosy Cats, I think it most definitely is, we here are in the EU and the EU has a rule and law for everything.

So if you come to the Czech republic avoid the aforementioned supermarkets if you can and if not check your purchases of fruit and veg very carefully before you buy them. Or you could end up like me not only annoyed with the supermarkets inability to sell merchantable food but also sick. Yes I got sick sometime ago and when I went to the Docs (I try not to use the Vets) they took a sample of err how can I put this um, they took a sample of something that I no longer had a need for.

Then they sent it away for testing in the Public Health Lab, a lady called me a few days later and happily spoke English she told me I had food poisoning – she was obviously an expert I could tell, but then she asked if I had been in contact with Dogs, me! In contact with Dogs? It was clear that this lady didn’t know me. When I asked why she said that the bacteria that cause my food poisoning had come from Dogs, I stopped her before she said anything else that would really make me sick, or sicker than I was already.

I had only eaten food from the local Billa and I it had cooked so I shudder to think what on earth they had done to it when it was in their care.


One last observation regarding vegetables on sale in the supermarkets of Prague is a brand of Carrots that are called Mrkev – it is apparently what Carrots are called in Russia, but I started calling them Mr. Kev which is sort of the way the packaging reads and it stuck with the English speakers I know here tee hee.

By the way one other thing that check-out proles do here is to scan items twice which means that you pay twice for the same item – surely that is also a form of shoplifting that just happens to go in the supermarkets favour – it is about time we the general public called the Police when tis happens isn’t it?

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Wales is an odd country!

Wales - where all the best sheep go.jpg

I have tried for a long while to figure out just what this sign meant – well the bits of the sign that are written in a normal sane language and not the rather redundant and little used Welsh – I have several ideas and here they are.

1. – Sheep Drop – what do the Sheep drop and why are they so clumsy in this area of the Welsh mountains?

2. – Sheep Drop – a danger area for Sheep especially short sighted Ewes.

3. – Sheep Drop – yep! That’s right just tip any unwanted Sheep over the edge.

And now just to torture you here are the sentences above in Welsh!

1. – Defaid Galw Heibio – beth y gostyngiad Defaid a pham y maent mor drwsgl yn y maes hwn o’r mynyddoedd

2. – Defaid Galw Heibio – ardal beryglus ar gyfer defaid yn enwedig byr Mamogiaid ddall.

3. – Defaid Galw Heibio – yep! Mae hynny’n iawn yn unig tip unrhyw Defaid diangen dros yr ymyl.

And just think you don’t know if I am really using Welsh or not do you? But don’t worry billons of other people are thinking the same – gwirionedd yw bod y Gymraeg? Oh sorry I meant “is that really Welsh?”

If you want to know what my name is in Welsh sadly it is rather boring – Mae Cat obviously ‘Cat’ is ‘Cat’ in Welsh and ‘the’ is ‘mae’ which you have to admit is very mundane where as ‘The Cat’ in Czech is ‘Kočka’ now that sounds like a word with possibilities doesn’t it?

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I Know That It Is Nowhere Near Christmas – BUT!

I don’t want to worry any of my readers, except the ones who haven’t bought my book yet but there is, I have heard, been a bit of a run on stocks of my wonderful book “Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” recently and I have been told by my rather panicky and excitable publisher that there is a possibility that supplies of my wonderful and eminently readable book might be in short supply this Christmas – a little like a Disney Buzz Lightyear toy and all of the other must have toys of the past.

With this in mind my advice to anyone wanting to buy my book for themselves or as a wonderful gift for a loved one is to get at least one copy now – just think if you buy two or more you’ll probably be able to sell the others at a massive profit like the person at at who is currently charging double for his or her copy and they have probably read it – I call that a ‘result’ don’t you?

If they have run out at don’t forget you can always get a copy of my perfect book from my

It looks like this –


Old Bag Not Punished Enough

Mary Bale, 45, from Coventry, the dreadful woman who dumped a poor innocent Cat into a waste bin has only been fined was fined £250 plus £15 victim surcharge and court costs of £1,171.4p and sadly was reported ‘near to tears’ surely she should have been inconsolable for what she did and punished properly?

This fine does demonstrate the cost (and inefficiency) of British justice – the court costs are over four times greater than the amount expected to be paid as punishment – something is wrong there isn’t it?

Mary Bale was also banned from keeping or owning animals for the next five years duh! You’d think she would be banned etc forever, she is not a nice person is she? The answer to that is in her behaviour surely – British justice is such and arse isn’t it?

It is true to say that British justice is like a limp biscuit soft, mushy and makes a terrible mess on the carpet.

Over the next five years if you see this woman with an animal call the police immediately!

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Not All North Koreans Wield A-Bombs!

You know sometimes we think in stereotypes, we think it even if we don’t say that – The Palestinians are warlike and don’t want peace, we shouldn’t trust Israelis when they are negotiating at the peace talks, and worst of all we say that all North Koreans want to do is to use their A-Bombs, I know we do that and I admit I am one of the worst for doing so probably and in doing so I hope that I don’t lead too many of my dear fans astray.

It is for that reason that I have added this lovely innocent picture of children in North Korean dancing, they are like all children all over the world, innocent, kind and not one of them is wielding an A-Bomb or indeed hiding one behind their backs.

Not All Nth Koreans wield ABombs.jpg

If only politicians, guerrillas and all of the other people who can ruin our lives at the stroke of a pen or the pulling of a trigger would look at this picture and the hundreds of billions of little ones all over the world they might draw a breath and try things a different way for a change – wouldn’t that be nice?

It only takes one picture, one gesture, one smile to start that sort of thing going I am pretty sure of that although of course Cats don’t smile because it makes us look sinister for some unknown reason.

But then again maybe it won’t because humans are not all that nice. I remember my translator saying that he had his laptop open and it uses a picture of his niece and nephew (who are Korean-looking) as a desktop picture and as a Czech woman who worked in the Human Resources Department of a large English speaking call centre here in Prague she asked “what have you got those on your desktop for!” Prejudice and hatred crop up when you least expect it don’t they?

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