Clever UK Police Strike Again

Have you ever considered just how evil Guinea Pigs really are?

The ‘clever’ UK Police, who are always using hi-tech cameras and surveillance looking for an ‘easy collar’ so that they don’t have to do any hard work like ‘detecting’ crime, know that Guinea Pigs are not only evil but are more than capable of out witting them.


These days being an effective ‘copper’ or ‘cop’ (English Slang for a Policeman meaning someone who ‘grabs’ something as in teenagers “cop a feel” on a date!) is not easy – oh yes there are all sorts of gadgets and goodies at one’s disposal but unfortunately as in real life if you want results you actually have to work for them, something that the UK Police are just not very good at. But then if you get a $10,000 bonus just for turning up to work where is the incentive to actually get your hands dirty and of course if you are a more senior officer then the bonus for just being at work is far greater.

So the UK Police use all manner of hi-tech goodies to do their work for them and often to embarrassing effect because in spite of the UK being the most ‘monitored’ country on the planet with more CCTV cameras per head of the population than any other country, criminals and in this case Guinea Pigs can still out-smart an honest work shy Copper.

How do criminals and Guinea Pigs do this? Simple criminals have learned not to look up into surveillance cameras and some Guinea Pigs are actually sometimes innocent no matter what the evidence might say.

The ‘evidence’ in this case was from an infra-red camera on board a Police Helicopter which costs between $4 and $8,000 per hour to keep in the air and the Police in general have far too many of them and fast patrol cars both of which have have dubious benefits for crime fighting but contribute to a lazy culture dependent upon gadgets rather than ‘police work.’

‘Mr Plod’ – as the UK Police are often referred to because of the ‘plodding’ nature of their work or their IQ levels I am not sure – was flying in an horrendously expensive helicopter over a house in Bradford, West Yorkshire, England when they picked up a hotspot on the roof of a garage and assumed it was a drug den!

Picture of a ‘drug den’ below.

Helicopter View.jpg

Yes thinking that a suburban garage was a drug den is probably a great leap of imagination, but I suppose when it is late at night and you are bored silly pootling around in a helicopter above a city and most of the curtains at bedroom windows are closed there is little else to do but to play ‘I spy a drug den’ is there?

After getting a search warrant to search Simon the Guinea Pig’s garage the boys in blue were the ones with the red faces because although Simon may well be growing acres of Cannabis in his tiny garage as the ‘clever’ police suspected the glow in the dark garage that the police helicopter picked up was simply caused by a heater that Simon’s human used to keep her Guinea Pig warm.

Probably the UK Police don’t know that Guinea Pigs and indeed most small animals get cold at night when the temperature ducks below freezing like some sort of lunatic limbo dancer and need to be warmed to stop them freezing and upsetting the kids in the morning.

A Police spokesperson said after the failed raid. “The majority of operations of this nature are intelligence-based and often rely upon swift action.” Although the Police spokesperson failed to say who supplyied the ‘intelligence’ because it obviously doesn’t come from the Police!

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