In the ‘good old’ days of the brilliant but balding Chairman Mao the rules were simple people were allowed one child, a ‘brilliant’ little edict that caused unimaginable harm to come to so many female babies, and keeping a Dog was banned because it was considered a ‘bourgeois decadence.’

But now as Chairman Mao spins like a top, without a topknot, in his grave keeping a pet Dog is seen as trendy, so trendy that there are nearly a three quarters of a million Dogs kept as pets, and happily their owners never think of them as lunch, in the city of Shanghai alone – but then hasn’t Shanghai always been a bit of the decadent bourgeois side hasn’t it?

In fact the number of people in Shanghai indulging themselves in what was until so very recently a bourgeois decadence is so great that the city authorities have decided that the time has come to do what all governments from Shanghai to Sidcup do and that is introduce legislation to ‘control’ the number of Dogs kept by Shanghians especially as horror of horrors only 140,000 of the Dog owners have licensed their Dogs with the police.

The new law means that if you don’t currently have a license for your Dog then you may as well have it for lunch because you aren’t going to be able to apply for one, but oddly enough if you already have two licensed Dogs you can keep them for companionship purposes rather than culinary.

In a rather odd statement the Shanghai police declared that “they are expecting they will have to adopt many of the Dogs once they are declared outlaws.”

Let’s hope that the multitudes of Shanghai’s outlaw Dogs don’t lead the police astray and start robbing trains, drinking moonshine liquor and having gun fights at corrals with two letter names – ‘OK!’

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