Oh dear Indian Cement!

We all know that one of the future world leading nations, it’s said is going to be India, let’s hope that they can sort out their over confidence in their abilities and in addition learn to tell the truth before that happens, to say nothing of discovering how to make cement!

There was another world leading country that couldn’t make cement properly but I can’t remember their name at the moment, can you comrade?

Oh dear Indian Cement


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Lucky Sue I think!

Is that a sign to the beginning of a queue to bang Sue? I wonder. I also wonder if Sue knows about all of this?

Lucky Sue

Just in case you are worried Bang Sue is one of 50 districts in Bangkok which include Bang Phlat and Bang Kruai… oh dear I think that this is getting worse and it might be wise to stop right there.


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

French to English, English to Gibberish

Translation is a difficult art and it is very easy to make all sorts of stupid mistakes even if you are the best translator in the world and an expert in both of the languages that you might be having a go at.

As you will know if you read my blogs I rather like the other type of translations, the one that demonstrates that a little knowledge is incredibly dangerous, the type of translation that doesn’t have any noticeable stupid mistakes in it, because the entire translation from start to finish is a stupid mistake.

Here for all of my lovely cuddly readers is a real classic which appears to have been translated from French to English and then from English to pure Gibberish, well done I say!

French to English English to Gibberish


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Is Something Bad About To Happen In Northern Ireland?

The sign below was in a Northern Ireland city centre cafe, you have to ask yourself, “what do they know that we don’t?”

Is Something Bad About To Happen In Northern Ireland


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Oh how cruel!

The picture below combines two things that strike fear into most hearts. Planning a summer holiday and the fear of going blind!

Oh how cruel

Some people can be so cruel can’t they.


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

It must be hard to be a tree in China!

We all know that life in China is competitive, often the first qualification you have to have before you are even born is to be male! And from then on you have to do well on the great treadmill, be the best at school, strive to ever greatness for the benefit of the great fatherland…….. sorry I drop off there but you get the picture don’t you.

So with all of the above in mind it isn’t surprising that the little fools on the other side of the Great Wall even judge trees is it!

Tree Failure in Hong Kong

One last observation if I may! It is odd isn’t it that a country with so many people, most of them males and with such high standards to live up to are frankly not cutting the mustard. When was the last time you heard of an original Chinese invention that wasn’t ‘borrowed’ from a western corporation or government? Gunpowder and Fireworks come to mind as the last thing that the Chinese invented when not looking over a westerner’s shoulders, but that was such a long time ago, wasn’t it.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Pushed with Embarrassment!

Pushed with embaressment

What? Now that brings a whole new meaning to the word ‘pushed’ doesn’t it?

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Tram No6 has arrived at the iBook Store

Yes ladies and gentlemen and cuddly readers everywhere my translator’s book ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ has finally arrived at the Apple iBook Store enabling you to read this illustrated gem on your iPad, Phone or Pod and although I could never be considered to be bias, I have always thought that John Woodcock was always ‘lacking’ when he wasn’t ‘challenged’ if you get my drift, I have to say that this book looks amazing on these clever devices from Apple.

There aren’t many illustrated books in the Apple iBook Store that can match the quality and luxurious look that the ‘Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ has. But don’t take my word for it have a look for your good self here. Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams or just John Woodcock.

If you click on the link (above) this is the page that you’ll be directed to in the iBook store to see our Mr. Woodcock’s wonderful work or of course just go to the iBook Store and type in ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’.

Trams of Prague on iBooks

Obviously it would be really nice to buy ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ for your iPad, Pod or Phone at the same time that you buy John’s book if you haven’t already got it.

There is something at the back of my head that is making my whiskers itch, a lost thought to thread that I can’t quite remember, oh yes hang on I think I remember. It’s the little iPad Mini of course! How could I forget it? The ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ looks exceptional on that too! There I can curl up and go to sleep now.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

It’s Snowing!

It’s minus three outside and I am writing to you from the heart of our snow bunker. We have enough tinned tuna and frozen prawns to last for just another four days and then I am afraid we might have to look at each other in a different light and start to really worry about anyone who offers an ‘invitation to dinner!’

Still there’s one consolation and that’s that the whole of Europe is tucked up shivering, under the same white blanket of course some countries are old hands at deal with the pesky white stuff and then there is the UK.

To be honest I love this time of year if I am watching the scene from a second floor window, because where I live in Europe at the first sign of snow thousands of people in brightly coloured warm clothing dash about the streets clearing snow, while their colleagues hop into extremely large snow plows for the roads and much smaller ones for the pavements and race around with orange lights flashing on top of their cabs clearing the snow from almost everywhere it is so colourful and so relaxing to watch others work.

Of course being English I had never seen this sort of activity before and as far as I can tell from the reports the the English newspapers it still doesn’t happen even today in modern Britain as they call it these days, for reasons best known to themselves. Instead you get wild stories in the English press of “Tens of thousands stranded as heavy snow and ice set to continue until Thursday” (it’s currently Monday), rolled up with flight cancellations at Heathrow airport one of the busiest airports in the world that can’t cope with a few flakes of snow.

Really what is it with the English and snow? As you can see from the picture below taken yesterday they haven’t had ‘that’ much snow and the country is “doomed” well according to the press.

Snow in England

Compare this to a typical and I have to say not very remarkable picture of a snowy street taken the other day in Prague and you have to wonder what the English are so concerned about and why so many of them are sliding off the roads in their cars.

Snow Prague

I do have one suggestion about the sliding off the road, from 1st November to 31st March each year winter tyres are as the Ministry of Interior of the Czech Republic (and most other European nations)here declares “obligatory.” The law actually states that “The obligation applies also when the drivers can expect .” And I suppose as thee ordinary driver in the street has about as much of a clue as to when to ‘expect bad weather conditions’ everyone here fits Winter tyres in the run up to 1st November, if you don’t and you forget then you get fined, but the fine is no where near the cost of having a tow truck come and rescue your stranded car and then to have it fixed, but isn’t that sensible?

I think it is and obviously not something that the English would do but then it would seem that they don’t like being in Europe and are trying to wriggle out silly sods.

Speaking of snow have you heard that my translator John Woodcock’s book Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams is now available on Apple’s ibook store? No well that is something i can change right now, this really brilliantly illustrated book is available now, here: Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams it is well worth a gawp.

I promise to post a blog later that shows some of the illustrations from this excellent book which was created for all ages.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Getting tough on litter – seems fair enough!

Seems fair enough

Some would say that the punishment for litter her is harsh well it seems fair enough to me. I am sure that Crocodiles don’t like litter, but I bet they love litterers, don’t you?


Don’t miss my Kickstarter Project

For a limited time only, as they say, you can help with what has been described as the best Kickstarter project ever, namely The Cat’s 3D Animated Movie Project.

Yes that’s right if you click here MY KICKSTARTER PROJECT you can help yourself to a piece of what will be movie history. I’m making a trailer for my up coming movie and I really need your help! Give as much as you like for wonderful and valuable rewards.

Sadly we live in a suspicious world so if you send this link to a friend you might like to use this one to show that there isn’t any funny business involved, there never is on my blog or site but then only you and I know that don’t we!

They can paste it into their browser and go straight to my 3D animated movie project page on Kickstarter.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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