Tag Archives: BBC

A must see from the BBC

Hello all my dear cuddly readers from smog filled Dalian to boiling Dallas and sunny Lanzhou to polluted London, I thought that you should know that John Woodcock who of course is better known as my translator has something of a personal announcement and so I have donated some incredibly valuable blog real estate (at a modest fee) to allow him to tell you all about it!

John Woodcock’s very talented daughter Jo is appearing in a new BBC TV series which will be on your screens every night next week starting Sunday @ 10.25pm. The series is called “True Love” and is about older people taking younger lovers – Jo being one of the younger lovers of course.

Here below is the front cover of the Radio Times (an English TV listing magazine) which features the series.

Photo 1

Happily for all my wonderful cuddly readers in the US of A you’ll be able to see “True Love” on HBO soon I think, if you have the right equipment of course and I know my cuddly readers always have the right equipment, don’t you!

Here, if you need reminding, is a recent snap of Jo so that you know who to cheer for in the divan wrestling matches – if there are any tee hee.

Jo at Night

This is what the BBC had to say about the series.

“Created and directed by Bafta winning Dominic Savage, True Love stars David Tennant, Ashley Walters, Billie Piper, Jane Horrocks and David Morrissey. BBC One’s first improvised series, it explores five powerful and overlapping love stories set in the same town.

The first episode centres on Nick, who is happily married: his wife and children are everything to him, but when his first love appears out of the blue he starts to question everything. Could they go back to what they had all those years ago?

Cast: Nick is played by David Tennant, Ruth is played by Joanne Froggatt, Serena is played by Vicky McClure, Michelle is played by Lacey Turner, Darren is played by Luke Bryant and Lorraine is played by Jo Woodcock.”

Sounds good doesn’t it? But then I know someone who is related to one of the cast so I might be a little bias!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Don’t Miss This!

Ok I have bowed to pressure from my translator John Woodcock and agreed to tell all of my wonderful cuddly readers about his daughter Jo Woodcock. Jo is on TV a lot next week in the UK and America in the second season of a drama called ‘Land Girls.’

‘Land Girls’ is about young women in the second world war who weren’t allowed to fight but ‘did there bit’ as bravely as any other person in the war by replacing men on the land and then having what appears to have been a jolly good time at the end of a hard and long working day.

If you are interested to discover more just click here it will take you to the BBC website dedicated to the second series of ‘Land Girls’ BBC Land Girls Season 2 or if you are over ‘there’ currently loving the french check out this site for PBS KPBS Land Girls Season 2.

Normally I would ask “what is it with the Americans and the french?” here but I know that not all Americans think that the nation that help cause the two biggest wars ever and then surrendered all too quickly and waited for the English and then the Americans who were fashionably late in both wars to get rid of the hun, but as this is about my translator’s lovely daughter I don’t think I will!

And now for the pictures they are both of Jo the first one is of her on her own and that will help you identify her in the second – I hope!

Jo Woodcock.jpg

Jo and the Land Girls.jpg

Ok so that is enough about the translator’s business here to balance things is a bit about the most wonderful Cat in the world. Err that would be me!

Oh while I think of it – January is a slow month in the retail sector and so if you would like to help out your local bookstore or indeed Amazon.com do buy my book because you won’t only be helping them out you will be ensuring that I have one or two little home comforts and that surely will make you feel all warm inside won’t it?

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

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London Bridge and Shepherds Pie – It’s The Cat’s Blog

It is worth mentioning, because it’s a compliment that a lot of people give me when they write to me, that readers can never guess what they are going to be delighted by and read next on my blog and I suppose that is why it is so amazingly successful.

This Cat loves to entertain and put a smile on his wonderfully cuddly readers faces and I hope that I always do, in fact judging by the very large number of books being sold around the world, especially at Amazon.com, I imagine that my readers are regularly entertained and recommend my blog, my book and my website to all of their friends.

I know how much everybody enjoyed my blog a while ago about London Bridge and so I thought I would post a picture that the ever charming daughter of my translator sent me recently.

My translator’s daughter is called Jo Woodcock and she is one of those famous humans who acts and if you type in ‘Jo Woodcock actress’ in say www.google.com or www.bing.com you’ll be able to see this picture of her and many more.

Jo Woodcock.jpg

For your information this picture (above)comes from the BBC www.bbc.co.uk and is a still from the series ‘Land Girls’ which is on your screens in the UK soon and on BBC America around Christmas too I believe.

Anyway enough of humans here is the picture.

London Bridge.jpg

When you look at the picture does it strike you that the guy on the left looks as though his batteries have run out and he has just come to a stop people in the street do that a lot don’t they tee hee! I suppose he has stopped on his way to a job he hates and is thinking “maybe I could call in sick? I just really don’t want to spend another eight hours bored stiff when I could be a… professional wreck diver in the Caribbean!”

The woman behind him is obviously humming to herself and, “think we’ll have Shepherd’s Pie tonight mmh lovely that might make Nigel take more notice of me and it is a cheap, filling and tasty meal – oh I am glad I’m not a vegetarian!”

This Cat loves Shepherd’s Pie by the way, especially when it is cooked with beef and not lamb, actually did you know that when ‘Shepherd’s Pie’ is cooked with beef it is known as ‘Cottage Pie’ and when ‘Cottage Pie’ is covered in Cheese (preferably a very orange Cheese like Double Gloucester) it’s called ‘Cumberland Pie’ I love English cooking it’s so inventive without being pretentious like some cuisines I could mention but you all know by now I mean ‘french’ don’t you!

It’s possible that some of my lovely cuddly readers are deprived – and don’t you have to be careful when you type that word? And not adding a rogue ‘a’ instead of the ‘i!’ – and that they might not have enjoyed the delightful taste of Shepherd’s Pie, Cottage Pie or indeed Cumberland Pie you poor things and so to put that right here are some pictures of what they look like and a recipe – yes that is right I am the Cat that keeps on giving! But then it is the season for that and also to be jolly apparently.

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Just think what a change a simple (and it is simple) dish of Shepherd’s Pie or any of its other incarnations will be over the holiday season, when you are stuffed to the brim with rich food and if you have any leftover meat and you don’t know what to do with it you are in for a real treat.

THE RECIPE

Boil and mash 2lbs (1kg) of big, floury potatoes, adding a thick slice of butter and some cream as you mash.

Soften 2 large onions, peeled and chopped, in a little butter. If the fancy takes you you can add a few diced carrots and celery now. Some people also add Baked Beans or peas – basically if you like ‘it’ throw ‘it’ in – within reason of course Prawns don’t work in Shepherd’s Pie – but they really do in the other ‘Pie’ variation on the mashed potato topped theme ‘Ocean Pie’ which is all fish, delightful cod, delicious haddock, wonderful smoked salmon more fish than you can imagine and I once imagined a swimming pool filled to the brim with Prawns – sorry I have to stop for a minute and regain my composure.

Where was I – oh yes – Onions!

When the onions are golden, add about a 1.5 pounds (600g) of minced lamb and cook it until is thoroughly browned.

At this point you can add salt (if you want to), pepper, thyme, a bit of marjoram, some sage and some ground rosemary and dribble one or two drops of Worcestershire Sauce over the mixture.

Next add about two thirds of a pint (350ml) of stock and allow the mixture simmer gently for 30 minutes or so.

When the meat is soft put the lamb mixture into a shallow baking dish and add the topping of mashed potato, dot it with a little butter and bake for about 35 – 40 minutes in a hot oven. You will know that it is cooked when the surface of the mashed potato is crisp.

This recipe will serves 4 adults or one peckish Cat.

Note

Don’t worry about weighing anything or indeed the weight of the ingredients at all this recipe can cope with twice as much meat or half as much, especially if you have a near empty larger/purse and a few vegetables to replace the meat.

Some tips

Here are a few tips to make sure that the Shepherd’s Pie is not just good but divine, make sure that the onions are nicely browned, use cream, butter and milk when you mash the potatoes for a very creamy result and if you fancy a bit of extra spice add pepper to the mash.

If your meat mixture is a little runny either take out some of the stock and make a wonderfully tasty gravy with it or use a sheet of tin foil to catch any drips that don’t bubble over the mashed potato and form a wonderful crunchy crust.

Of course the mashed potato crust should be crisp on top and you can achieve this easily by either pull a fork across its surface to create “furrows” or pile it up into clouds with a spoon.

Truly flexible

As I said above you can use beef instead of lamb and turn the recipe into Cottage Pie. In addition you can add a layer of grated cheese and made a Cumberland Pie (below in a picture I have just borrowed – personally I would add even more Cheese, then a little more Cheese on top of that! But then like most Cats I like Cheese).

Cumberland Pie.jpg

This is a great way to enjoy a hearty meal in these cold snowy days and better still it is one of the ways to help stretch your budget, after the bankers have ruined the world’s economy and the politicians and other idiots have turned a financial disaster into a monetary Tsunami, and to eat heartily but cheaply is not only a bonus to some it is a way of life.

Gosh I didn’t expect to be giving recipes and cooking tips when I started this blog all those ages ago, but then I suppose this is why my blog is so popular I cover all sorts of subjects.

Actually just there is a little example of a pet project I have – why can’t we create a word that combines the two words all and sorts into ‘alsorts’ but I better not get started on that subject!

As usual do let me know if any or all of the above was helpful/interesting – I would hate to think that I was talking to myself and my thousands of fans had just suddenly disappeared!

Author’s background information

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in history, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

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I’m A Bit Late With This News

It is true I am a bit late with this news and there are two reasons for that, the first is that I have been thinking very hard about the momentous achievement that is in this piece of news and secondly well we’ll get to that…

When I heard this news at first I though “huh…and!” Which of course is not a good place to start when considering Universe shattering (literally) news.

Then as I started to digest the news that scientists at the Large Hadron Collider (which lies under the lower priced areas of Swiss real estate next to France) have come the closest ever to re-enacting the beginning of the Universe (and we are talking about the Big Bang here and not some godlike being with a cement mixer) reproducing conditions a millionth of a second after the Big Bang I thought to myself “Makes you wonder why they didn’t go for the exact moment of the Big Bang rather than a millionth of a second after the Big Bang?”

Hadron C.jpg

What stopped them going right back to the beginning? The scientists have a very big machine – collider thingy! They have shed loads of cash, probably expresso coffee machines, a nice staff canteen and I’ll wager Prawns on tap! But still they didn’t go for the ‘big one’ the exact moment of the Big Bang. Was this some flaw in the character of the lead scientists, too cautious to stretch that little bit farther I wondered?

The I started to wonder (yes I did a lot of ‘wondering’ but then this is ‘wonderful’ isn’t it?) what did they get out of all of the time, money and commitment expended? The answer is a computer generated picture (below) and frankly not the best picture of a Big Bang I have seen!

If you want a great picture of the Big Bang then just look at the picture below the scientist’s one – it is the cover of a book/animated movie pitch that my translator John Woodcock is working on about some prehistoric dogs called Desmond, Denis and Dwight the ‘Dino Dogs’ frankly I think that is a much better, more interesting illustration and we all know his ‘limitations’ don’t we bless him!

Alice Event.jpg

The Dino Dogs at the Beginning of Time an animated movie – the Dino Dogs are also available for parties, speeches and lamp post washing.

Bang Cover Third Draft.jpg

Then after all that thinking (and don’t forget the ‘wondering’) I eventually thought to myself ‘I don’t really care what the pictures look like science is a wonderful thing and the Large Hadron Collider is brilliant and better still it is located under France and Switzerland and if it does happen to blow up anytime in the future it probably won’t affect yours truly and that frankly is the most wonderful news!’

LATE NEWS

I have some excellent news about my wonderful masterpiece of a book. My publisher put down his wine glass the other day, sobered up for a while and “arranged to send Amazon a new load of books” or that is what he said!

book-cover.jpg

Yesterday I contacted Amazon who were, as I said the other day, panicking about meeting demand and supply etc., and they say that they have received the consignments and tucked them safely away in their warehouses in the US, Australia and the UK all of which means that my fans won’t be disappointed you can of course order a book here Amazon.com or if you want to put more of the cash in my pocket then you can get the ebook or the paper version at my www – wickedly wonderful website – www.thecatsdiary.com.

It is good news that they got to the UK warehouse to beat the little bit of snow they had – there has been about an inch of snow in the UK and of course that means that the roads are blocked, trains aren’t running and worst of all the BBC Breakfast News has dedicated itself to the snow and the problems it has caused – what a shame this ‘world leading power,’ the UK and not the BBC obviously. is brought to its knees by an inch or two of snow!

Maybe instead of acting like a ‘world power’ which it no longer is, the UK should stop lending $13 billion to Ireland, sending aid money to India and China and invest in a little bit of salt and snowplows for the roads – you know do something for the poor devils trying to get to work, school and of course the airport to get out of the place who read my blog on a daily basis and who I care for as thought they are family and are now sitting abandoned in Cars, Trains and the staff accommodation of Sevenoaks railway station with only the ever dreadful BBC to listen to!

Here in Prague in the Czech Republic (for the geographically challenged) it was minus 12C overnight it has been snowing on and off for four days and the snow is thick and crunchy and it’s also cleared from all of the major roads, most of the other roads that matter, and the sidewalks as well, even as I write this blog the little orange van that comes around to empty the trash bins on the sidewalk has stopped to empty the bin – today it has been fitted with a snowplow and has a grit spreader on the back clever eh? Well no not according to the British who would say that the Czech Republic is ex-communist and therefore a bit backward and nowhere nears as modern as the UK!

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A No News Day

Quite often I find a subject for my blog in the news and when I say news I mean the lighter than air meringue stuff that they serve on ‘news’ websites where ‘news’ usually involves stories of several fat ladies and a Yorkshire Terrier doing something heroic, such as eating their weight in Mushroom Omelettes or something.

Then there is the stuff on sites that offer in the ‘broadcasters’ opinion earth shattering news, you know the sort of thing, the latest CNN travel bag has been launched and now comes with a ten year guarantee which offers you your money back if the travel bag gets damaged so long as you never use it on airlines, French HiSpeed trains and indeed anywhere where a baggage handler might get to ply his or in some very muscular cases ‘her’ trade.

Often the non-news, as I like to call it, extends to other topics such as the Queen of England having a new hair do or a sitting for yet another painting, they both seem to be about as regular as each other.

Then there are some news orgainsations that will go to any lengths to take old news dress it up and churn over it time and again, this is usually done with over paid and unqualified celebrity presenters I can think of one new Poodle on the block who fits the bill perfectly there can’t you?

‘But’ and it is, as I often say a big one (and so in this case I will say it again), ‘but’ today the non-news is monumental the BBC News website, home of adverts for many of their up coming new programmes and mini-series, leads with a story that is entitled “Obama in final health vote push.”

Obama in Prague.png

Obviously the story’s subject is very, very important but today isn’t decision day in the Senate and so there is little or no news for the idle journalists to write who are constantly being asked to find new angles, threads and much more to justify their expensive existence and that means that any ‘news’ organisation covering the ‘story’ has little or nothing to say and so they produce this sort of nonsense.

To tell the truth (something that seems to be missing from news sites these days) I am surprised that the headline on the BBC site didn’t say “Obama reminds everyone to set their alarm clocks” so that they get to work on time and are able to vote.

Surely if there were less headline non-news stories the news media would have more room for other stories that somehow get sidelined and then the real ‘news’ when it breaks would be important and less of a ‘relief’ that the story has finally died. But then what do I know I am just a Cat after all.

I am sure that you dear readers have our very own pet non-news stories and I would love to hear them.

In the meantime this clever Cat is off to hear why Africa’s Elephants are keeping scientists guessing then I might do bit of crystal ball gazing and read New US-Russia nuclear deal ‘soon’ of course after all of that I am going to do the most constructive thing you can with the Sunday newspapers, light a fire!

Don’t forget that you can get a much more interesting read here www.thecatsdiary.com for free or you can part with a bit of cash for a great read here Amazon.com

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Poor Prince Harry!

Idiot falling off horse.jpg

I was so sorry to hear from advert filled BBCnews.co.uk website that yesterday or the day before the ‘lovely’ Prince Harry was in a potentially serious accident.

Happily, unlike his colleagues, ‘Henry Charles Albert David Windsor, born 15 September 1984’ as he would appear on any charge sheet, a serving officer in the British Army wasn’t being shot at at the time in Afghanistan where most of his colleagues are in cover waiting for the next idiot with a bomb, prince Harry was in Barbados.

It is such a shame that the British royal family have to fit in so much work around their hobbies and this terrible accident is proof that the lack of time they have to practice their past times is beginning to cause and possibly dangerous accidents.

Fortunately Prince Harry was uninjured in the fall when he landed it is believed on his head, doctors said that the royal family are blessed with remarkably thick skulls due to the constant and avid interbreeding of the pedigree over many years and that Prince Harry will be able to continue enjoying himself soon when the Grouse and Deer shooting season opens.

People close to the prince said that he will be taking more leave from the British Army so that he can recover from this ‘uninjury.’ The average soldier gets five and a bit weeks paid holiday per annum which means that for around 47 weeks of the year they can be shot at, bombed etc., in places such as Afghanistan.

On the other hand Prince Harry, who has taken full advantage of the fun side of what the Army has to offer has learned to ski, fly helicopters and scuba dive and hasn’t been on a full tour of active duty at all during his career in the Army, although it was rumoured that prince Harry was stationed in Afghanistan for 11 weeks.

These rumours are probably at best unreliable because the ‘prince’ would have been a high value target and as such would be a danger to all of the people who served in the army with him.

However the rumours of his ‘selfless service’ to his country do make great PR and the royal PR machine used them to great effect when they they have to cover Harry’s little faux pas, such as his love of dressing up in Nazi army uniforms, calling Muslims “ragheads” and generally demonstrating what a coarse and uneducated mob, the royal family really are!

The Nazi Prince.jpg

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Cat World Debt Fears!

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My dear friends and investors, I would like to take a moment to talk about some articles in the gutter press, such as The Financial Times, the Wall Street Journal and of course the BBC damn their keyboards, that report some ‘problems’ that we here are having at Cat World.

What can I say except – financial problems? What financial problems? There is talk I believe that after borrowing several hundred billion dollars from friends, relatives and complete strangers and spending it in a wise fashion, very quickly, that we can’t meet the repayments.

Nothing, I have to say is further from the truth we can meet the repayments on these world record loans, we just want to wait a few years to do that, then at a time when the dollar, which it is true we have helped to cripple, is worth as much as the chocolate filled tinfoil coins on a Christmas tree we’ll make some repayments.

Our advisers, ex board members of the Bank of Credit and Commerce, have assured us that this is not only perfectly legal but something which is done everyday in the banking world.

So my fellow board members of Cat World the wonderful entertainment, holiday destination, business centre and housing complex and I want to squash all of these dreadful rumours before they get out of hand and do something terrible, like say adversely affect the world’s stock exchanges, we would like to do that but unfortunately we are off on holiday and will get back to you later.

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