Tag Archives: Cat who writes books

Odd Chinese Safety Instructions

In addition to a complete lack of expertise in making any kind of manufactured goods for the West that last, stealing islands in the South China Sea and interfering under Tibet’s skirts China is a place where there is not a great regard for humankind let alone animals, cough, such as myself, who can without any great effort find ourselves being accused of being a stray (which is such and insult in the Cat culture) rounded up and placed on a Shanghai dinner menu.

All of which means that when you see signs like the one below you do hope that they are followed to the letter by the hamfisted Dog and Cat eaters behind the Great Wall of China.

What Does This Sign Mean China Of Course

You know it’s amazing what you see when you are travelling the world researching a book. But all I can say is after spending nearly two, paw weary years, globetrotting that I am glad it’s over and you my dear cuddly readers can read ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ I am confident that it will bring more than a smile to your lips and like my other wonderful unputdownable book ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ you will want to read it again and again.

Don’t forget as you are dusting off last year’s Holly and trying to glue back together the kids favourite Christmas decorations; to say nothing about trying to get the tree lights to work, that my books make excellent Christmas presents for all ages and while you are ordering your copies do make sure you get one for your good self, you have earned a bit of time curled up in a chair with an extremely good book like either of mine!

Just for you dear reader I have added some very useful links for you to click that will take you to my books on www.amazon.com or indeed my own www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite Travelogue Website or the normal one here www.thecatsdiary.com or my amazing virtual retail establish here my store at www.thecatsdiary.com.

You can get paperback or ebook copies of my first book ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ here Amazon.com and my amazing second book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ either here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or here The Cat’s Travelogue ebook depending upon whether you want an ebook of a paperback version duh! Silly cat you know that sorry!

Lastly and for those who might be er… how can I put this, a little hard of understanding, here are some pretty pictures of my books and lots of devices that you can read them on if you choose to buy my ebooks! If you choose to invest in the paperback editions of my wonderful books then I suggest you read them on your lap curled up in a nice armchair!

If you need any or all of these items in addition to dozens of copies my books then click away below to your hearts content they all come from www.amazon.com where you know you can shop safely and securely to say nothing about good old Amazon ensuring that anything you order arrives on time.

It almost goes without saying but this clever Cat who writes books and who writes blogs for your amusement and delight does receive a very small ‘consideration’ from www.amazon.com if you buy any of the items below using the link or links. Well we all need to scrape a together living don’t we? So if you are going to buy a KindleFire, and iPad, iPod or iPhone to read any of my books on then it wouldn’t do any harm to click the link anyway below would it?

Mmh sorry this was such a long blog especially for those of you with a short attention span but let’s face it this is an important time for Cats in the publishing industry, we make most of our cash at Christmas time and that is why I have to use every trick in the book to get you dear cuddly reader to part with yours.

You know it isn’t easy either, because there is a fine line between marketing and whining and then there apparently is the line that I have never paid too much attention to, the line beyond which marketing is considered bullying!

Just remember dear cuddly reader, if you can, that I’m merely a simple Cat and if I do seem to over sell my books it’s because I don’t know any better tee hee!

P.S.

Sorry if any clever human knows how to get the above links to sit together and could let a confused Cat know the aforementioned cat would be very grateful because it beats the Whiskas® out of me! And Cat food all over the floor is not at all nice, especially when it is Salmon and Sardine flavour!

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Found one Cat

A lot of people apparently have not been able to find the section of my website that has random sneak peeks of my latest book The Cat’s Travelogue in “good old” some say (I don’t) www.google.com so here is a link that will take you there immediately Travelogue Website.

There I am happy to announce that at least that is one missing Cat’s website found!

When you click that you’ll be able to read a synopsis of the book and just as you can with my other book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ you will be able to read a page of my latest feline masterpiece ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and get to see what others have thought about it, mind you there aren’t many reviews there at the moment because I imagine that people are only half way through my wonderful book because it is that new.

Travelogue by John Woodcock

You can order copies of my books at my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite store of course here www.thecatsdiary.com or from the ever reliable www.amazon.com here The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition for the paperback or here for the ebook edition The Cat’s Travelogue ebook.

You may find that you have ordered a copy of my must have unputdownable ebook only to find that you don’t, as yet, have an eReader well don’t worry about that those nice people at www.amazon.com will gladly let you have one for money they probably will suggest a Kindle Fire which you can get if you click on the nice picture below

Or if you want to have a good look at other eReading machines you can simply click here Computers which will take you to www.amazon.com’s computer department.

There you will find a good few eReaders, I understand that a company that grows great pie fruit does a nifty reader that can also be used as some sort of pad, though what sort of pad it is I haven’t managed to fathom out yet because you can’t wrap it around a leg, it’s way too thin to use as a pillow and not quite big enough to curl up on and when I tried I slipped off the shiny glass screen, but for all of that I understand the iPad is a popular gadget so don’t rule it out just because it isn’t cuddly or unable to stop bleeding like most pads.

Then there are several copies of the iPad which are all called tablets but they are even odder than the iPad because you definitely can’t take two of these with water three times as day.

I could of course go on, but to prove all of my critics wrong I won’t…

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Horse Crap – A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

The really great news is that my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ is going to be available very soon any and everywhere and that means you can buy a book either in paper or ebook form in the very near future.

Speaking of my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue,’ a wonder of a little book written by a Cat, one of the places I visited was Vietnam though because of signs such as the one below and other divine bureaucratic blunders the chapter on Vietnam was ‘sponsored’ by the Socialist Republic of Vietnam and then removed by me from the printed edition. Did you know that the Socialist Republic of Vietnam’s motto is “Independence – Freedom – Happiness” – if you ever did!

It’s my fervent hope that you enjoy my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ more than the menu item below and that you tell all of your friends to buy at least one copy and make this clever Cat very happy.

One thought that went through my furry head when I was sitting outside the restaurant in the heat and pollution of Ho Chi Minh City reading the menu below was this “what was the ‘Lime'” if you see what I mean, “do the Vietnamese serve a Citrus fruit with their Fried Horse Crap or is the ‘Lime’ on the menu the white powdery stuff that they add to cement, gardens and the graves of adulterers in days gone by?” Sadly to this day I don’t know because I didn’t order this menu item – what do you think I am stupid?

Don’t forget that like ‘Getting Out Excerpts from A Cat’s Diary’ ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will make a wonderful Christmas present.

Horse Crap  A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

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