Yes I know some say that being modest is a skill I didn’t learn but, here is my modest wish for all my readers.
Tag Archives: Christmas
Art imitating life?
And if it is isn’t art imitating life then it makes for a rather a good read don’t you think dear cuddly reader? Which makes me wonder which royal is going to have the next affair, we haven’t had a romantic scandal in the British royal family for a short while so we are due one and the scandal that prince Charles avoids tax is so last month! Don’t you think?
About the Author
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’
This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.
If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams
Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?
To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.
Cat without Fear
Recently someone very kindly sent me the picture below and said that it reminded them of the cover of my masterpiece of feline literature (and great Christmas present) ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’ Which happily is in stock at Amazon here www.thecatsdiary.com though rather wonderfully is still “doing big numbers,” according to Jeff Bezos. Which I thought was nice!
What a pose! What a Picture! What a great looking Cat, just like me!
For those short on remembering here is the picture my correspondent was referring to!
Yet another good looking feline and of course a talented author to boot, well that’s enough of me!
About the Author
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’
This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.
If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams
Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?
To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.
Looking for an unusual Christmas present? Look no more!
A box of Terrible anyone? Has this clever Cat discovered the perfect Christmas gift for anyone who enjoys the unusual? I think so!
Just imagine the face of your beloved this Christmas when they slowly unwrap and then open their own peculiar box of ‘Terrible!’
And why stop at Christmas? I am sure that you must know dozens of people who deserve their own box of ‘Terrible’ at anytime through-out the year!
About the Author
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’
This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.
If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams
Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?
To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.
Should I mention the dreaded word?
Christmas is coming and I know that it should never be mentioned before my birthday which is not for a month actually (hint hint) but I am always a sucker for a bargain aren’t you and look what I have found!
Wow! Now that’s great value in any currency don’t you agree. By the way if you do agree I shall have ‘them’ send a person around in a white coat immediately for you.
Mind you now that we are on the subject of Christmas there probably isn’t a better gift for any poor soul who hasn’t yet got a copy of my wonderful books and if you use the link below you can be whizzed off to Amazon to get your very own copy or buy dozens and solve your Christmas present quandary in a trice.
And that also means people in Japan and India now by the way, which is handy because although most Japanese people don’t speak or read English they apparently are drawn to the cover of my book and have started buying it in the thousands so that they can rip the front cover off and frame it, how nice!
The Indians sadly still seem to regard any paper as toilet paper and so I shan’t tell you what my spies observed in a New Deli bookshop it’s just too harrowing for such a good looking Cat and talented author to contemplate.
About the Author
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
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HAPPY NEW YEAR from The Cat
Hello to all my lovely cuddly readers. I thought that I would wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year and let you know that I am still skiing in the Bohemian Mountains, enjoying lots of rest, comfort and everything else that a very hard working and successful Cat should.
As I am on holiday I think that my blogs will be a little short for a few more days but I am sure that you understand because you are all so kind.
I thought that you might like to see a picture of me in the snow, but as I posted it up I suddenly realised that I can’t actually see me, I must have slipped out of the picture or behind a rock while Ginger was saying “back, back, left, left, no left a bit more and back.” You wait until I see him this morning!
About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
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A Tip For Everyone With A New Ebook Reader
I am so pleased for everyone who got an eBook reader for Christmas, aren’t they great? Yes of course they are! They can hold hundreds of books and they, in the main, are easy to use.
Here is an essential tip for everyone who got an ereader for Christmas from your friendly superstar Cat. Whatever you do make sure that you download my books to your eReader from either Amazon or my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite shop here The Cat’s Webstore
Here are some essential links to Amazon.com that will take you to both Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary or here Amazon’s page for The Cat’s Travelogue all you have to do is to click the blue line or lines of your choice.
Just so you know what you are looking for here are some pretty pictures of the covers. May I suggest that once you have read my ebooks you order a copy of each book in paper form for your bookcase, they too look wonderful on any bookcase shelf because they have pictures of me on the covers and spines.
Don’t forget that those nice people at Amazon.com and also my www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite don’t stop for Christmas or the New Year and so if you want to fill your brand new shiny eReader, whatever the make, you can do it right now, and of course if you do then you will make a little Cat very happy indeed!
About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
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So Lego, I Don’t Get Lego!
Yesterday I walked into a the front room and was treated to the same experience as walking on glass, there was Lego everywhere and the nasty sharp little edges bit and cut my paws, what a shame I wasn’t wearing my non-slip booty socks that I am absolutely certain someone will buy me for Christmas – someone who doesn’t much care for me of course because we all know I want a Motor Yacht!
I just don’t get Lego and can’t for the life of me understand the attraction of so many bits and pieces and odd little lego shaped figures. Apparently there is a box of Lego bits that if you have the patience makes something called a Uni Mog and if you are like me this is where you say “so what!”
Why would anyone want to make a lego Uni Mog? I have no idea frankly, and to make matters worse although I have no real clear idea what a ‘Uni Mog’ looks like I am pretty sure it does’t look like the picture below. Just to put the Uni Mog business to bed I should for the sake of detailed reporting say that the Uni Mog is the biggest, most complicated Lego Technic set on sale consists of 2,048 pieces! It costs over $300! What a waste! Imagine for a moment just how many Prawns you can get for three hundred big ones!
I was in London the other day Eurostarring. I had to make some visits to shops featuring my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and sign them for the throngs of happy people who had waited hours in the rain in Brussels, Paris and London, well I say ‘happy’ that of course is a little truth wrestling the crowds weren’t happy to wait in the rain but they cheered up with a few personally ‘pawed’ (my way of signing) books.
I had just stepped off the rather dirty Eurostar train and was confronted by the 40 ft high Lego Christmas Tree in the main concourse of St Pancras Station which apparently according to the sign standing, mainly unread, in front of it was made using 600,000 pieces by the children from the Harpenden Explorer Scouts, Edith Neville Primary School in Camden and Copenhagen Primary School in Islington.
The forlorn sign under the Christmas Tree where in a normal world wrapped presents would sit goes on to say that the Lego Christmas Tree took the young ones ‘just’ two months to build.
What a shame they wasted their time, like all things ‘Lego’ the Lego Christmas looks very little like the real life object. But then the world isn’t real is it and the only reason there aren’t any presents under the Lego Christmas Tree is that a pile of presents would be a wonderful place to leave a rather ‘unchristmasy’ bomb.
Do you think that the Lego Christmas Tree was worth all that trouble? Just look at the terrible tyre marks made by the crane thinly that put it together to say nothing of the school time wasted by the children who ‘helped’ decorate it, surely they would be better off reading err… my books for instance.
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Happy Christmas – Your card
I would like to say thank you to every one of my wonderful cuddly readers who buy my books in their thousands, read my blog, send me presents, offer kind words and do such wonderful things for me (although I am tapping my paw over the Motor Yacht, I have to say).
As the card says Happy Christmas and Purrs to you all.
The Cat
Is This The Saddest Dog In The World? Or One Of The Nicest?
Bentley the Border Collie is probably the saddest Dog in Britain, if not the world.
He has had a trying and very difficult life bless him and it has left him scared of Cats, afraid of the dark, suffering from monophobia, the fear of being alone, he has very sore paws because he suffers from such bad anxiety attacks that he bites his nails in fact he has to wear mittens on his feet to stop him making them worse but worst of all poor Bentley the Border Collie (aged six) desperately needs a new home and we all know that is going to be his biggest challenge because getting a new home is hard enough, but when you are in desperate need of masses of love, companionship and reassurance you might be considered a bit ‘difficult.’
Bentley the Border Collie isn’t difficult in any way though, the main cause of all of his ails is anxiety which started soon after his first human’s death and it didn’t help that his second human was unable to cope with his constant need for reassurance, cuddles and company.
Bentley the Border Collie tends to cower away from Cats, even when they are only on the TV, which suggests that he is not really as cowardly as most humans think and is actually showing a lot of intelligence! Cats are always up for a bit of ‘Boxing’ with a Dog no matter how big they are (the Dogs that is)and Dogs almost always come off worse, but that is only one on one or “Cato a Dogo” as they say in um… err… somewhere ‘Latin!’
Dogs have a tendency for wandering around in packs and a pack of Dogs is a bit of a pawful for any Cat,all of which means it’s a good job we can climb or so this Cat the Cat who writes blogs thinks, but I am veering away from the star of my blog today Bentley the Border Collie.
Unfortunately if the doorbell rings Bentley the Border Collie goes into orbit, yes you guessed it this distressed Doggie is frightened of not only the doorbell but what might also be outside in the dark.
Not all is doom and gloom for Bentley the Border Collie the lady who manages the Dog’s Home where he is currently spending his days, at night he is taken home by one of the carers who at first felt sorry for him and now just enjoys his company, and that is because this blue bow wow’s behaviour changes completely when he is surrounded by humans and happily he loses all his little ways, problems and insecurities.
All Bentley the Border Collie is a bit of love and company a home where at least one person is home for the
most of the day and night. Bentley loves human company both adults and children and when with them will happily play, fetch the usual stuff that fits in a mouth and then snuggle down and curl up on a conveniently situated lap after a long walk.
Bentley the Border Collie just needs is a second chance really he has had a difficult time so far in his short life and needs to forget the trauma of losing a loved one when he was young and enjoy the rest of his life being just a normal Dog let’s hope that this Christmas Bentley the Border Collie finds a home along with all of the other animals who are in shelters.
As it was such a success I have brought back my little Christmas Quiz
Unfortunately the people who won last time can’t enter this time!
Question: Where can you buy copies of my wonderful books?
Answer: Here!
Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary
Paperback edition of Getting Out at Amazon.com
Kindle edition of Getting Out at Amazon.com
The Cat’s Travelogue
The Cat’s Travelogue
Kindle edition of The Cat’s Travelogue
All correct answers (written on a postcard) and sent to me at my email address will get a really big prize – no not a Motor Yacht that’s what I want. Mmh it still doesn’t seem as though I have got the quiz format quite right yet! I may try again next week which of course means there will be more prizes up for grabs so do visit my blog again soon. Did I ever tell you I like having you here!
About the Author
The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.
Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”
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