Tag Archives: Clever Cat

A Sneak Peek Of The Cover Of My Latest Book

Yes that’s right dear cuddly readers here’s a sneak peek of the cover of my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’

Now while I am very happy with the cover in general I am not too happy with one element, can anyone guess what it is? If you can there is a free ebook in it for you, if you can’t then after failing to change the cover at a last minute summit meeting with the publishers I added my comments about the bit of the cover I dislike to the new book so the week before last so you will be able to read the book and tell me what it is that I dislike.

The closing date for the competition has to be Sunday (tomorrow) sadly because my wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will be available on Amazon.com by then and in bookstores soon afterwards but a little bird told me that you can buy the ebook version of my unputdownable book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ right now, in fact I think I am sitting on the link here. All of which means that if you buy an ebook now you stand a great chance of winning my amazing competition and still can buy a paper version at a later date.

Travelogue by John Woodcock

If you can’t live without my new book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and I can’t blame you for that and want the ebook early then use this link, if you just want to cheat on the competition above then I understand just go for Kindle Edition of The Cat’s Travelogue on Amazon.com or Amazon UK.

There I am such a nice Cat not only letting you cheat in my competition but most importantly enabling you to have instant access to my wonderful ebook ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ in advance of everybody, yes that is the sort of Cat I am and just how much I love my cuddly readers and Cat fans.

Of course it might go without saying, but I am going to say it anyway, you can instantly get a copy of my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ from my www-wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or at the my store on my www – wickedly wonderful website.

There! Does this clever Cat think of everything or what? All you have to do today is to click on a few links, use your or someone else’s credit card and you are away and one of the very first to buy what people have described as the “travelogue to end all travelogues.”

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Horse Crap – A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

The really great news is that my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ is going to be available very soon any and everywhere and that means you can buy a book either in paper or ebook form in the very near future.

Speaking of my long awaited soontobemillionselling book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue,’ a wonder of a little book written by a Cat, one of the places I visited was Vietnam though because of signs such as the one below and other divine bureaucratic blunders the chapter on Vietnam was ‘sponsored’ by the Socialist Republic of Vietnam and then removed by me from the printed edition. Did you know that the Socialist Republic of Vietnam’s motto is “Independence – Freedom – Happiness” – if you ever did!

It’s my fervent hope that you enjoy my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ more than the menu item below and that you tell all of your friends to buy at least one copy and make this clever Cat very happy.

One thought that went through my furry head when I was sitting outside the restaurant in the heat and pollution of Ho Chi Minh City reading the menu below was this “what was the ‘Lime'” if you see what I mean, “do the Vietnamese serve a Citrus fruit with their Fried Horse Crap or is the ‘Lime’ on the menu the white powdery stuff that they add to cement, gardens and the graves of adulterers in days gone by?” Sadly to this day I don’t know because I didn’t order this menu item – what do you think I am stupid?

Don’t forget that like ‘Getting Out Excerpts from A Cat’s Diary’ ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ will make a wonderful Christmas present.

Horse Crap  A Delicacy In Ho Chi Minh City

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Two New Free Games On My Games Page

I don’t know how I do it, but I do! I have arranged for my boffins to set up two new free online games for you my lovely cuddly reader to play on my www.wickedly wonderful website so that you can while away your working day and return home fresh, relaxed and happy, aren’t I just the nicest Cat in the world? Of course I am.

The first new free online game is called Bloons

Here is what it’s about and what you have to do, which is frankly not much except enjoy.

Bloons are what Monkeys call Balloons – they’re daft aren’t they – but they did beat humans into space, though Cats got there first.

There is only one aim of the game and that is to shoot ‘Bloons,’ isn’t it nice when things are that simple? Oh by the way there are 50 levels and they do get a bit harder as you progress.

Here’s the Cat’s Tip: Hold down the mouse button and let go to shoot further.

Bloons Game   Grow Cube Game

The second free online game is called Grow Cube and I think it’s a bit strange – some might call it addictive though.

I personally think that Grow Cube is the first computer game that requires you to have a pencil and paper handy – you’ll need it I promise.

The devious devisers of the game say that, “all you have to do (understatement) is to add the right element at the right time other otherwise your cube isn’t going to grow.” You’ll get the hang of it all soon enough depending upon how clever you are of course!

Here’s my tip: Start with the man, and make lots of notes.

I hope that you enjoy both free on-line games and manage to to do just a small amount of work every so often when playing them.

To get to my games page on my www.wickedly wonderful website quickly just click here My Games Page to go straight to the latest free online game you would like to play simply click on its picture above, the pictures are rather clever links to my website, but then what do you expect from a rather clever Cat? Nothing less!

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Cat Could Be In Contempt Of Court – Humans!!!!

Recently Boston resident Sal Esposito was called for jury service and quite rightly Sal just ignored some idiot human’s flight of fancy and sadly that uncitizen like bravado has landed Sal in a little hot water and he could be in contempt of court.

So is Sal worried? “Not unduly!” He said recently when talking to us here at Cat World and why is that you may ask, well it isn’t because Sal is anything but a model citizen, he is house trained, has been known to catch a Mouse or two in his time and oh yes Sal Esposito is a CAT Cats don’t do ‘worry’ that’s for humans.

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So Sal Esposito is like me, ‘feline’ and that means that he really isn’t required to judge his peers because very few Cats find their way into courts and who in their right minds wants to waste time being a juror to judge humans? Not this Cat nor indeed Sal Esposito.

Sal Esposito’s problems began when his humans Anna and Guy Esposito listed him on the last U.S. Census under “pet.”

The government as usual ignored that information and called Sal up to serve on a jury and so Anna carefully filed for his disqualification of service on a jury.

That sounds reasonable doesn’t it – yes of course it does! Sal is remember a “pet” and loads of ‘pets’ serve on jurys in the states. Unfortunately the forms the government send out that have to be filed in for cases like this list the following reasons why a prospective juror may be disqualified.

  • Too old – He wasn’t even in Cat years

  • Being Ill – Nope happily Sal is fit and well

  • He was a convicted felon – Sal is an honest Cat and has never been to prison

So Anna dug deeply into her intellectual resources (which I don’t think have helped her yet) and filed that Sal Esposito “cannot speak English” which is of course true, though why she didn’t, email, write a letter of visit the government department concerned is anyone’s guess, however it is true Sal and most other Cats, unlike this clever cat, doesn’t speak English or indeed write masterpieces in the English language for that matter.

Anna couldn’t have predicted the reply from the jury commissioner who obviously failed to read her disqualification form and denied the request for disqualification.

All of which means that Sal is still required to attend Suffolk Superior Court on March 23 and take part in jury selection I think I want to be there too don’t you dear cuddly reader?

Apparently his humans are still trying to clear up the misunderstanding and quite frankly they don’t seem to stand a chance do they? If they fail, unfortunately Sal will be making his first appearance in court.

Let’s hope that they provide the proper facilities such as a litter tray, Prawns on demand and regular comfort and dozing breaks and let’s all hope that the courtroom doesn’t have Mice or should that read let’s hope that the courtroom does have Mice tee hee.

By the way has anyone noticed how similar Sal and I look – he has a light tan smudge under his nose but in general he is what is known as a very good looking Cat and probably will be a good juror if called, happily I know a translator who is apparently the world’s expert in translating from Cat to English maybe the court could fly him in on an all expenses paid junket to translate for Sal.

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Bandit The Cat Saves Family From Fire

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While Bandit’s family slept the brave 15 year old Cat from Lincolnshire in the UK, braved flames to raise the alarm that the kitchen was on fire and possibly saved his family’s lives.

Bandit braved the flames to raised the alarm by scratching his human’s face, Marie his human who then woke up her partner David and his two daughters and then with with Bandit, four other Cats, four kittens and two dogs as well as hamsters, gerbils and rabbits managed to get to safety outside as the blaze raged.

The Fire Brigade were called and promptly and efficiently as usual bravely brought the blaze under control.

Later when they learned of Bandit’s bravery they said “If the Cat hadn’t woke you up, the occupants of the house would have died from toxic fumes and smoke.”

Happily that is not the case and thanks to Bandit all of the 20 occupants of the house escaped unharmed.

As you can see from the picture Bandit is a shy cat who really doesn’t like having his picture taken and frankly was wondering what all the fuss was about, all he wanted to do was to get down on the floor and check for Prawns – the usual reward for clever Cat’s.

Animal lover Marie proudly said that “Bandit is a very intelligent Cat although I didn’t expect him to do something like that, which I am amazed by. He can actually talk. He can say things like ‘hello’ but people don’t believe me he can talk.”

Shy bandit.jpg

Sadly the family didn’t have insurance and will have problems renovating the rented property they live in and replacing the ruined appliances in the kitchen which was badly damaged by the fire.

Happily for them and for Bandit after the brave men and women of the Lincolnshire Fire and Rescue put out the fire and they then installed smoke detectors which means that Bandit will have some help if something happens like this again.


About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Can’t Get Out For Xmas Shopping? Don’t Panic!

It sounds as though my fans in the UK (especially) but all across europe are having a torrid time trying to do just a little bit of Christmas shopping.

The UK seems to have suffered worst of all and there is panic breaking out to do last minute shopping for Christmas according to all of the major newspapers and that is where this clever Cat can come to the rescue – by delivering all of your gift requirements before Christmas with my very cunning plan.

My cunning plan, like all good plans since the Norman invasion of England in 1066 is simple – then it was bash everyone on the head and take over – but this plan is less Gallic and violent and so simple it will work like a dream and the result will be that everyone gets a gift at Christmas even though people can’t get to the shops.

The first part of my very cunning plan is to go to my either my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or Amazon.com and download an ebook of my masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary,’ my site has them in lots of options including a pdf version which can be read on any computer no only ebook readers and of course Amazon.com have the peerless Kindle.

The Cat & Kindle.png

The second part of my plan is possibly even better and more cunning than the first part and you have to admit just the first part of the plan was a winner!

Everyone knows that although electronic or ebooks are wonderful, easy to read, weight nothing, immediate and best of all you can get thousands of them on your reader, there is nothing like being able to give someone a present that is wrapped up and to watch them unwrap present on Christmas morning their eyes growing wide and their complete joy as they realise that you have given them a copy of my amazing book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary.’

So while you are following the first part of this very cunning plan and ordering the moderately priced ebook, which of course can be delivered immediately, simply order a copy of my amazing book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ at the same time from either my www – wickedly wonderful website www.thecatsdiary.com or Amazon.com for the same person, that way even if you can’t get to the shops, or copies of my book can’t be delivered because of the snow or any other disasters natural or unnatural, you will be able to wrap my book when you get it and happily give it to someone safe in the knowledge that they are already reading your first present a copy of my brilliant ebook.

Just for you from now until Christmas morning I have a team of people working 24/7 ready here at Cat World HQ to take your order and then send you the ebooks you need and the great thing about my shop here my online store is open 24/7 and if you don’t like clicking links just copy and paste this address into you browser to be whisked to my store – http://www.thecatsdiary.com/store.

Here at my brilliant store, which as I said is open 24/7 until Christmas morning, we not only offer a guaranteed service backed up personally by me – The Cat but we also take all major credit cards and you can if you wish pay using the excellent and safe Paypal payment system. And of course we can send the ebooks immediately to any email address anywhere meaning your gift will be guaranteed to be delivered before Christmas.

Oh and my translator Mr. John Woodcock also asked – well begged – me to tell you about a pair of his ebooks which I graciously sell online at my store ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No 6’

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‘Astromouse’

astromouse.jpg

If you want to have a look at either of these excellent books or read a synopsis then simply click here my online store is open 24/7 or as I said above if you don’t like clicking links just copy and paste this address into you browser to be whisked to my store – http://www.thecatsdiary.com/store I am sure that anyone would love any all or all of the ebooks that you can find at my amazing store.

So once again this clever Cat comes to the rescue and makes the difference between not having something to give someone at Christmas and being able to give on ‘the day’ and then remember ‘the day’ afterwards when you watch someone open their second present.

I wish you all a warm and very Happy Christmas!

PS

I watched George Clooney in ‘The American’ last night and here’s a tip if you haven’t seen it – don’t bother it’s dreadful! The best thing about the movie is George’s hair cut though unfortunately his side burns are like the movie is far too long! Even the Italian scenery is dull, grey and dreary – and that is an amazing cinematographic accomplishment because Italian countryside is normally lovely.

The Cat’s tip for the holiday season until my movie comes out is ‘Despicable Me’ it’s fun, funny and everyone can watch it and find something to enjoy!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet such as www.pawsperouspets.com.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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I’ve Gone All Christmasy And Put Loads Of New Free On-Line Games On My Site

From today until somewhere around the 12th day of Christmas, or the end of January if I am feeling a little ‘Russian,’ (because the Russians celebrate the New Year’s holiday until almost the end of January) you will be able to celebrate Christmas with me on my www – wickedly wonderful website because I have added a lot of Christmasy treats like flashing Christmas lights and falling. But don’t take my word for it check out the snow and Christmas lights for yourself here www.thecatsdiary.com.

And not only do the Christmas lights flash but if you are getting more than a little frustrated by the Christmas crowds in the shops, the cost of all the Christmas presents you have to buy for people you hardly know and generally drowned in Christmas spirit you can get your own back on my perfect website just run your cursor over the pretty flashing Christmas lights and see what happens – tee hee!

No please don’t thank me it is all in a day’s work for a techno Cat who simply wants to entertain humans everywhere. Oh and of course to get them to buy his book which luckily you can do on my marvellous site www.thecatsdiary.com or here Amazon.com and if you want to order multiple copies well who am I to stand in your way? I’m far to fabulous and polite to do that!

I suppose most websites that aren’t www-wickedly wonderful websites, run by a clever, kind and cuddly Cat would just stop there with a few flashing Christmas lights and some expensive special effects!

But and it is a big Christmas ‘but,’I am a Cat you loves to give and of course entertain and that means that I have gone that extra mile for my readers this Christmas or as they would have it in Europe I have gone the extra kilometre and added even more of my amazingly popular online games, these on-line games are as usual free, fun and fully tested by me, I loved them as I know you will so enjoy them and if they help you cope with Christmas or indeed pass the time until ‘the’ day and you get your pressies that is all I ask for – apart from the “buying my book bit of course tee hee!”

Not all of the free on-line games are Christmasy play the Ice Slide Game and you can catapult your favourite unsuspecting polar animal as far as you can into the snowy distance. Obviously you have to help that nice polar animal avoid the snowy hazards as he or she flies through the air – did anyone say addictive? They certainly did!

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The more Christmasy Free On-line Games include:

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Holly A Christmas Tale Delux

A great game where you can enjoy a new version of what is regarded as a true holiday classic!

Holly: A Christmas Tale Deluxe tells the story of a young woman who falls asleep on Christmas Eve and dreams that she is helping Santa Claus deliver toys to children around the world. But is she really asleep? Or is what is happening real?

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The Toy Factory

Where you help Simon the Elf recover all the toys of Santa before midnight because by midnight the presents have to start being delivered and Simon is nowhere near ready and worried what Santa will say when he finds out!

I have added many more free on-line games, but don’t let me spoil the surprise just on just click here The Cat’s Game Page and you can always be sure that The Cat’s games are exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.

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Happily I Have Been Proved Right – Again

Yes I know I am a very clever Cat who has opinions and no matter how much I am told to shut up my fat mouth I tend to ramble on and on about the things that I not only believe passionately about but as well of course I do like to also point out the stupid things that you humans do – I’m sorry I just can’t help it – it is what clever Cats do, well it is what this one does!

For ages now I have been trying to ‘out’ idiots like Bono ‘the climate clown,’ and of course Al ‘Gas Guzzling’ Gore for the way that they jet around the world using up precious resources so that they can point and then wag fingers at ordinary folk lecturing them about how wasteful they are and how they are causing the death of the planet – all of this with no regard to the fact that the planet has seen ice ages come and go as well as hotter arid times and that long after these dreadful busybodies have moved on to earning more money on their next fad somewhere else the planet will still be spinning on its merry way until we are all turned into nothing by the sun exploding or sooner by a meteorite doing more or less the same thing but not as quickly.

“So what is it this time that has had the opinionated Cat fizzing about?” I hear you ask with a sigh, well the answer is simple and ‘fizzing’ has a lot to do with this subject, just as ‘still’ and ‘sparkling’ do in fact!

I am talking of course about water – not the natural stuff from rivers, rain, lakes, ponds or indeed the safer stuff that drips out of leaky taps – I am talking about the stuff that is “filtered through limestone” “gently flavoured” (of course that means sugared) “is so good for you” indeed I am talking about the stuff that is bottled, naturally carbonated (how does that happen?) and comes in glass, or so much worse plastic, bottles.

Small water.png

Bottled water is something that hundreds of millions of people who don’t have to drink, drink! The water from most of the developed world that comes out of a tap is perfectly drinkable and bottled water is only a necessity in countries that don’t have proper drinking water treatment plants, these countries include but not exclusively the usual favourites for dysentery China, India, many of the ‘stans in Asia and so on. In fact Delhi of course gave its name to one such complain the infamous ‘Delhi Belly.’ (Or as my spell checker insisted – ‘Deli Belly which I think may be caused by eating too much Salami – but that isn’t important here).

Mind you there is no bottle of water in those aforementioned countries that this Cat would drink until it had been carefully boiled, cooled and disinfected with water purifying tablets – this Cat isn’t stupid and I followed very strict personal hygiene guidelines when he was researching his latest soon-to-be-released-blockbusting-book my Travelogue!

So back to the reality of the ‘real’ world where, as I mentioned a minute ago, and so it must be true, people drink gallons of bottled water for no reason what so ever, well except for the dumb reasons they trot out when you mention that drinking bottled water is a bit daft – you know the sort of reasons they are, they are supplied by cosmetic counter sales girls who quote Nobel Prizing winning sudo-science at you to convince you that you should buy a re-hydrating product as well as drink bottles and bottles of water a day to save your skin from ageing. Which, sad to say, water can’t actually do – but that is almost beside the point.

The people who drink water in vast quantities and are dumb enough to lug enormous bottles of the stuff around every day say that their bodies need water and any other fluid just isn’t as good as the “forgotten functional food’ that they call water because it ‘re-hydrates’ your body, is good for your skin, liver and just about everything else – now where have I heard that before? Oh yes, in American Cowboy films when the swindler in the covered wagon rolls into town to sell his ‘patent’ cure all potion.

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The honest truth is that you just simply don’t need to drink gallons of water a day to stay hydrated. I bet you don’t believe me when i say that you could easily drink Tea for instance instead, but don’t take my word for that statement, listen to what Prof. Tom Sanders, Professor of Nutrition and Dietetics at King’s College London, says on the subject of water in a recent article in The Independent Newspaper. “Tea is the most widely consumed beverage throughout the world, and there must be a reason for that. It’s actually a functional food and by that I mean it hydrates the human body.” And you thought only water was that magical!

So before you decide to improve the muscles of one arm any further by lugging around enormous bottles of water do take a moment to think about the alternatives – and they don’t have to be drunk – Cucumber is 95% water, a jacket potato contains 70% water, an egg is 70% water and even a Chicken is 65% water.

Add all of the food that contains water that we put into our bodies everyday and it comes so close to a litre of water as to not matter much – I would say “within a whisker of a litre of water” but then ‘whiskers’ are a very sensitive subject to Cats and we tend never to mention them unless we have to! Oh drat I just have haven’t I?

So after you have eaten all of that water bearing food there is one trick left for the body and the business of hydration and that is that the body actually produces water metabolically.

All of which means that the craze to drink water like err ‘crazy’ is just plain daft and if we took a sensible pill with the last noisy glug of our bottled water then we would realise that by not buying gallons of water in plastic and glass bottles we could help save the planet from not only the unbiodegradable nature of the plastic bottles and the single use of all glass bottles of water we could stop water being shipped around the world to sell in other countries and again save a lot of energy for much more important things.

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More Than A Work Of Art

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Someone once described the photograph of me on the cover of my wonderful best selling masterpiece “Getting Out – Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary” which you can get here Amazon.com as a work of art and I sincerely believe that they were speaking the truth.

I found this picture of an astonishingly good looking, well read and cultured clever Cat, for a moment I thought it was me! But then I realised that the artist Charles Wysocki had probably just seen a photograph of me and wanted to use me as the perfect model.

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Looking through the book on the bookshelf I have to say I thoroughly recommend the volume on the lower shelf ‘The Sardine,’ when I read this magical book I found it to be not only insightful but also a tender loving story with a very happy and satisfying ending.

While we are talking about the books in the picture and not me does anyone know where I can get a copy of ‘Delicious Field Mice I have Known’ and who wrote it? As yet I haven’t read it but now that I know of it, it is top of my reading list.

One last thought about my book with the wonderful cover, if you don’t own and treasure a copy already just click over to Amazon.com and you can get one, actually if you do own and treasure a copy of my wonderful book why not treat yourself to a second or third copy I say?

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Bing’s Confusion Or Is It Mine? Either Way I Don’t Need A Nanny!

Do we live in a nannist world? I think so because everything we do seems to be monitored, filtered and checked to ensure that we don’t hurt ourselves physically or mentally by doing things like err living.

That is daft isn’t it? We, both humans and animals are living our lives in a big and dangerous place, it is called the world, which is full of all sorts of dreadful stuff that is just waiting to bite you and worse in Iran if you are a married woman and have a bit of a slap and tickle with a man who isn’t your husband you are liable to get stoned to death! But then happily the rest of the world isn’t as looney as the chaps in long dresses in Tehran, no wonder Iranian women wear clothing that only shows their eyes, it is obviously for protection because Iranian and indeed Arab men are some of the randiest bunch of perverts in the world and will leap on anything unless it is clearly marked ‘untouchable’ as in a poor woman wearing a full body cover, though even that doesn’t very well and worse I’ve heard even the goats in Iran are asking to wear the ḥijāb these days for protection!

But is the civilised world ‘that’ dangerous? Or are we both humans and Cats being saved from ourselves before we have actually put ourselves in harms way? I have to say that this clever Cat thinks so.

Why? I hear you ask, well the answer is simple. As you probably know I loathe www.Google.com and that means that for all of my search requirements, spying, snooping and or news gathering I use www.Bing.com.

Frankly Bing isn’t much better than www.Google.com but at least by using Bing I stop www.Google.com snooping and spying on me by not using their services and I heartily suggest and recommend that you do the same and do it fast.

Anyway www.Bing.com is as good or as bad at what it does as Google usually, but I have noticed one or two annoying things about www.Bing.com and to date this is the most annoying thing…

Just like the search engine Microsoft copied when they wrote Bing’s software Google you can’t personalise your copy and so if you have an inclination or indeed a requirement to change the default search options you can only do that for one session and then they default back to what Microsoft – opps sorry we are supposed to call Bing ‘Bing’ because Microsoft is so unpopular – wants you to use for your own good of course!

So what does that mean exactly? Well I wanted some pictures of a lovely place in England in the county of Devon, the place is called “Saunton Sands” and as the name suggests Saunton is on the coast and has a few miles of sand.

So I typed in Saunton Sands and got this message from good old Bing and no pictures at all.

“The search for Saunton Sands devon may contain explicit adult content and has been filtered” etc…. etc… as you can see from the picture of the daft screen message. Well I know I spelt devon with a lowercase ‘d’ but what is offensive about any or all of the words that I used in the search? Beats the f**king, c**p out of any of the logical reasons I can think of.

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So I had to turn the filter off and risk explicit adult pictures of “Saunton Sands devon” and here is the result, obviously don’t look if you are of a delicate disposition or if sand, sun and sea have a debilitating effect on you or indeed arouse you in anyway what so ever.

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Where are the naked ladies and other pervert’s pleasures? The only thing that is naked is the wonderful sands at Saunton, although because it is in England it will be covered in litter I expect.

Sometimes I despair of this world and all of the idiots in it, except of course for my lovely fans and readers I love them all you are the intelligent ones, mainly because you like my Best Selling Book of course.

Oh don’t forget to bully someone you know into ordering my book here Amazon.com.

Guess what I have a very few first edition copies that are signed which you can order from my very own website here www.thecatsdiary.com.

These wonderful pristine copies of my best seller are a little more expensive than the ones at Amazon.com because of the cost of postage from the sweltering Czech republic sorry about that! But on the other hand these babies are worth a small fortune I noticed the other day at a specialist bookshop, but from my website they cost a tenth of the price so get someone else’s credit card now and burn some plastic.

Oh by the way, did you know that it was today, the 16th of July in 1918 that the Tzar and all of the royal family were ‘dealt’ with by the Russians?

Now I am not suggesting that the way they were dealt with was ‘good’ in any way, but I hope that the British royal family take a minute or two today to realise what happens when you rob the people all of the time and continually ask for more money because your palaces are falling down.

Oh and maybe they could send the Russian Royal Family’s jewellery back to Russia. The British royal family bought a lot of the more glittery baubles on the quiet after the Tzar and his family had no further use for them not many people know that – if you are wondering what it is like to be in a dead Tzarina’s Tiara – well simple just ask the British queen!

Here is a nice picture of the ‘poor’ British queen wearing The Russian Kokoshnik Tiara which was bought after the messy business of July 16th 1918.

Russian.jpg

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