Tag Archives: Duchess

What is the fuss about Kate?

As the title says – what is all the fuss about Kate?

In the spotlight now

Well I had to have a look on the internet didn’t I? I am, after all, a red blooded male! And imagine my disappointment! Poor Katie poo! I would be embarrassed if my naughty bits had been spread all over the internet like chicken pox especially if my err… how can I put this, oh yes! ‘unmentionables’ looked like this! It looks like the poor lamb has chicken pox.

What is the fuss about Kate

At least the last royal female to give the world a flash had knockers that could fill a double page spread, just like her “hindquarters,” which is, I think, the way the Duke of Yorkies refers to her best features!

I think the royals are wonderful – they do a wonderful job for the paparazzi supplying candid pictures now and again, which are so much better than the ones that are staged, where poor ugly little Katie is plastered in makeup and dressed up to the nines – the poor love spends enough money a year on her clothes and makeup to keep a small primary school open and still manages to look… how can I put this… “like she does!”


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Kate Masks© – the latest craze to sweep the planet

I don’t know if you saw the cover of Hello magazine this week? (If you didn’t I have added it below). I did, on a book stand in Berlin and I was rather surprised to see the person walking a rather nice Black Spaniel was wearing a Kate Mask©.

At first I thought that the good people of Hello magazine had been using photoshop but on closer inspection I don’t think they did, still I compensated for that below tee hee.

The reason why I thought Hello magazine had been a photoshoping was firstly the rather odd fixed stare of the over sized face under the hat and on the cover and secondly because Kate Masks© are in very short supply as this is a Jubilee year and no one in their right mind wants to wear a queen mask©.

Kate Mask

As you can see in the next snap I am so pleased that I was able to get hold of a few very rare Kate Masks© and join in the latest craze becoming a look-a-like for princess Cindy or is her name ‘The Duchess’ I forget!

My Kate Mask

If you don’t want to be left out of the most amazing craze since Planking then do drop me a line I have a few Kate Masks© reserved for my closest friends and if you are prepared to outbid them then a Kate Mask© will be posted to you immediately after your cheque, credit card or money order has cleared.

Qatar Mask 2

Honestly though I urge you to act fast because already I have has several UK cabinet ministers, some US senators and indeed a very close aid to the royal families of both Saudi Arabia and Qatar contacting me enquiring about availability of Kate Masks©.

Well this is a very special year for the British royal family of course, the queen will have been living in a life of luxury at the taxpayers expense and taking protracted exotic holidays for what seems like forever so this year the nation and indeed the rest of the world want to congratulate her on getting away with it for so long and what better way to do that than with a finely crafted (so long as you cut it out neatly) Kate Mask©?

Just a thought from a caring Cat!

What a shame that being married to a royal and having to exist in ‘that’ family has turned the good looking young woman (below) into the one above! Do you think she needs counselling? You have to ask yourself what is she going to look like after a couple of kids, having to deal with all the nannies and servants will be tiring and if her husband turns out to be the same sort of git as her father in law then she is going to be worn to a frazzle or less.

Another Kate Middleton

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