Tag Archives: Good Looking Cat

It’s Been Snowing! Have You Noticed?

Hello all my cuddly friends. I would have been blogging earlier but I was one of those hundreds, (oh how I want to add thousands to the hundreds there just for effect) who were abandoned, ignored and uncared for by EuroStar recently when the train I was whizzing from Paris to London on stopped whizzing.

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Alarmingly the lights went out and people started to wonder “wtf” as I believe they say these days.

Well the ‘f’ was that we were stranded, abandoned and… well you get the picture, or you would have got a good quality picture if I had been packing a Camera but my trip to Paris was light, and I just had my iphone so the picture is not very good at all.

Actually I always travel to Paris ‘light’ because there are just so many pickpockets there, but adding that helpful piece of travel information is drifting away from the point and the drama of this little blog.

Is a little blog a blogette by the way? Mmmh, who knows!

Anyway there we were at first in a situation that would have made a passable comedy, and they when my iphone died the situation became dire, everyone knows that you can’t be disconnected from your mobile phone even for a second, the world may collapse and there would be no way of emailing the pictures of it happening, as it happens, which of course was exactly what my fellow travellers, or should I call them waiters, were doing as well as waiting for the train to start chugging again, which it didn’t!

As the hours slipped away and stiff upper lipped English people got tired of slapping the faces of whimpering Gallic ones while shouting “get a hold of yourself,” and “panicking won’t help, you know!” And they eventually began to panic too, I have to say this good looking Cat fell asleep and woke up rescued, which was very nice, some one had thought to bring hot Tomato Soup and Corned Beef Sandwiches and there was a spirit of the blitz about the EuroStar coach, although I have to say that was coming mainly from the EuroStar staff who were being shouted at a lot.

It was only later that I discovered the horrible truth of the depths to which some humans has stooped and then actually gone lower, just for the hell of it.

The scene apparently was like something from a co-educational ‘Lord of the Flies’ with human sacrifices and cannibalism, honestly you humans are odd, if you were hungry you should have popped down to the buffet car surely.

All in all my frozen experience was different to everyone else’s who were on the stranded EuroStar train, I wonder if that is because I don’t automatically expect to receive vast sums of the folding stuff in compensation, surely not!

Anyway here’s a Happy Christmas to one and all! Yes I did watch the Muppet’s Christmas Carol last night!

It really is up there with the best, I can see why Charlie Dickens wrote it especially for the Muppets they play it with a lot of feeling and understanding and I also have to say that Charlie Dickens screenplays are so much better than his novels which are really a bit dull but, and it is a big ‘but,’ you have to listen to the words of the songs he wrote specifically for this movie they are just sublime.

“Just one more slept till Christmmmmas”

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My Thoughts On Rendition!

If you want my honest opinion regarding extraordinary rendition, I think I would prefer an extraordinary one than just the norm! Wouldn’t you?

This is an extract from my latest book “Thoughts from a Good Looking Cat!”

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Have I wished all of my lovely cuddly readers of my book, blog and my ‘www‘- wickedly, wonderful website a very Happy Christmas and more money in your pockets in the New Year? I hope so, I forget things sometimes. But I rarely forget to mention that you can still get my book at Amazon.com in time for Christmas and you really should you know, it would make me very happy and of course reading it will make you sublimely happy I promise. (Insert winning smile here).

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What The Dickens?

After seeing that someone had managed to sell a Toothpick that belonged to old Charlie Dickens of Christmas Carol fame (not the Muppet version I hasten to add) recently for $9,000, it started me thinking about what mementoes my true fans would buy from me.

Just think, Charlie Dickens is dead! And that Toothpick which someone bought had been used by him to pick his teeth with, though of course he would have done that when he was alive! I am not suggesting anything really awful here, just that the Toothpick had been dragged in between his yellowing molars rather often, oh wait a minute The Cat has to puke.

Sorry about that, where was I oh yes Charlies’ Toothpick ‘the bargain of the year.’ Well I have decided to take a leaf out of Charlies’ book, though not literally or even literary if you see what I mean! I think I do, even if no one else does! I have decided to sell some of my own treasured possessions.

So now you lucky fans you can choose from the following new or nearly new treasured possessions:-

My Flea Collar (used and modelled by the ‘lovely’ Larry).

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My Scratching Post (modelled by good old athletic Ginger).

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My ‘downstairs’ Litter Tray (emptied, I think).

A Cat Collar with an elastic gusset which is supposed to help a Cat, in some way or the other, if it is dangling after being caught by a branch whilst the aforementioned Cat is tree climbing. But I have to say all it ever did for me was to make me bounce up and down as I dangled.

Author’s Note:

The Cat Collar is not modelled, in the picture below, by Roger, who simply bet me I wouldn’t include this picture of him!

The boy is a fool, now who looks like a complete buffoon and not only in this picture, Roger?

Incidentally I do apologise about the poor quality of the picture but Roger hit me on the head with the camera, though I don’t know why maybe I am losing my memory!

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And finally of course my Cat nip flavoured mouse collection including poor Terry the small and very smelly Ginger Cat nip mouse. Sadly none of the other Cat nip mice will have anything to do with Ginger! It breaks your heart doesn’t it?

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All of which, judging by the amount of money some fool paid for a used Toothpick, should raise a fortune, the bigger the better I say!

It almost goes without saying that the cash generate from the sale will come in handy. Christmas time is such an expensive time isn’t it? Buying presents empties the bank account almost as fast as a – well I was going to say bad banker – but frankly they all are bad aren’t they? If they weren’t bad we wouldn’t be in the deep doo doo we are in, would we?

Actually if you buy my wonderful book as a present for people who you really, really like and who deserve something really very special this Christmas then you won’t spend a fortune I promise.

The best place to get my amazing book is here of course Amazon.com and when you get it at Amazon.com you will have it delivered a long while before Christmas and that will save you trolling about in the shops fighting others for it and then having to carrying it home.

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Christmas Present List

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Hello to all of my wonderfully good looking readers from your humble servant The Cat.

I was so very pleased and frankly incredibly touched to hear that you wanted to know what I would like for Christmas. Of course I know that the question is one that is asked of a lot of very famous people and quite rightly we are a very important bunch with mostly fascinating opinions.

Looking down the list of people who have already filled in what they most desire for Christmas was a humbling experience I can tell you and before I let you in on my entry I thought I would share with you some of the hopes and aspirations of some very famous people indeed.

Most of the Politicians at the Copenhagen Climate Conference – want a cleaner, fairer, safer world.

President Obama – wants world peace. Presumably to match his Nobel Prize.

President Putin – wants to reduce nuclear arms.

President Sarkozy – wants to end hunger.

Nelson Mandela – wants to end injustice.

The Pope – wants stop premature infant death.

Elton John – wants more to be done to fight HIV/Aids

Mohammed Ali – wants more understanding between different races.

Prince William of England – wants a nice shiny Aston Martin like his Dad’s!

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It makes you proud that we have such altruistic celebrities and elected representatives. Not one of the ones who have earned their status were as selfish as they are often made out to be.

All of which brings me onto what I would like for Christmas.

The Cat – wants an end to hunting, shooting and fishing for amusement.

I do wish my readers a very Cool Yule and a Happy Christmas and remember if you need any present ideas you still have time to buy my book from Amazon.com it really is very good and that is because I am an inordinately good looking and talented Cat.

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A Happy Holiday For All

Sadly a large number of my blogs have been described as frivolous and I would like to do something about that and talk today about something that is a very serious problem facing almost every nation in the world.

The recent financial crisis. There are three or four truths about the recent financial crisis.

Yes it has been terrible!

No it wasn’t expected.

Yes banks including the federal reserve banks of most countries were responsible for the terrible event and no they weren’t punished they seem in fact to have been rewarded.

So those are the truths about the recent financial crisis but there is one more which it seems has gone un-noticed at the moment and that is that we together, us bods in the street, can get ourselves our of the mire and general doggie do do that the banks got us into.

The way that us ordinary bods in the street can do this is by spending money this Christmas cleverly and allowing money to flow again into and through the world’s financial systems and a wonderful way to do that would be to buy a copy of my book at Amazon.com and if you want to ensure that it is a work of absolutely pure genius then you can get a sneak peek here at my ‘www‘- wickedly, wonderful website.

If you buy my book at Amazon.com then not only will you be assured of getting it delivered before Christmas you will be helping to kick start the economy, for that you should be rewarded, and you will be, with a great read.

This wish that you buy my book is the first of many Happy Holiday Wishes from me to you, which may or may not be centred around you purchasing my latest masterpiece, written by a really good looking Cat!

I do wish you all a Happy Holiday.

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Tiger Woods, The Cat Rolls Up His Sleeves and Dives In

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Mixing metaphors is like mixing drinks, it can produce an intemperate tirade of nonsense, similar to the intoxicatingly dumb and boring stories that currently beset poor, only in the sad stakes, Tiger Woods.

Now I have to say that of course I really have difficulty stirring myself to defend an idiot, and as the once mighty Tiger has admitted in so many words he was an idiot, but as a Feline I feel it is my duty to defend a Tiger, no matter how faded and tarnished this idiot’s image may be.

So after talking on the phone to my people who talked to the Tiger’s people who shared some black coffee with the Tiger, here is a short statement that both sides have agreed upon.

“Tiger Woods is not such a bad person you know and is was only practising at the 19th hole!”

As Eight-time Grand Slam winner Andre Agassi said when he awoke recently, don’t be so cruel to the Tiger and don’t judge him too harshly. “It’s irresponsible to jump to conclusions on Tiger Woods without the full facts after recent claims about the golfer’s private life…” Then he dropped off to sleep again.

Just remember that incredibly rich people have a right to let off steam once in a while and better still have, if they are sensible, a large number of PR people who can ensure usually that the ‘facts’ are never ‘full’ by any means.

So quite frankly my advice to the tarnished Tiger is to get better PR people. Frankly I would have thought that a small car crash in possibly an alcoholic haze, while possibly beating your wife with a five iron can be smoothed over rather easily if you have the right PR people, just ask the Kennedy clan!

Finally I have to say that as of this moment in time there is not going to be any announcement regarding the replacement of the Tiger with The Cat on the side of some bottles of Gatorade. Frankly just like the disgraced Tiger, The Cat would only drink that rubbish on camera and for large amounts of the folding stuff, but a Kitty has got to live! So watch this space.

However here at The Cat HQ (a sober and clean place where no wife beating has ever taken place) we were sent the picture below by an anonymous advertising agency, who simple asked The Cat for his opinion on some new artwork.

As of this moment that is all we can say on the subject of the new and improved Gatorade which, never fear, will be on the shelves for the Holiday Season.

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