Tag Archives: Odd

Nothing Stranger Than The Truth

In the north of England, or to be more precise, Yorkshire, where men are men, women are women and neither wallets nor purses are opened with any pleasure there is a saying and it sort of goes like this.

“There’s nowt stranger than the truth” which means that there is nothing stranger than the truth which I imagine is true, but then the people of Yorkshire also say “Owt for nowt” as in “ye don’t git owt for nowt! which let’s face it, even to English, English speakers, is a saying that is a bit of a puzzle, let alone to the ears of the late adopters of the English language, like say Australians and Americans!

What this all means is that the world is an odd place and the things that go on in it are odd, as I am sure you will agree are the people who inhabit this odd world, which I think leads me nicely to what has happened to me recently.

As you know I have been complaining about the increasingly large amounts of junk emails that I have been getting which offer a range of things, none of which I personally either want or need. Well recently I have received a lot of emails from what according to the ‘cc’ email addresses was a ring of men.

The emails were chatty and on the surface innocent, but of course because I had no idea what they were about or who the people were that were sending them I was at a loss to explain why these seemingly harmless emails were being sent to me, so I sort of ignored them.

However ignoring the emails didn’t work and they piled up, can you imagine what it is like for a good looking cat, best selling author and all round star like me? The amount of emails and post I get is cumbersome to say the least and worse I like to reply to all of the mail if I can, especially the post with presents or cash in it and of course the wonderful letters praising my best selling book Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary which continues to sell well on Amazon.com it would be ungrateful not to do that wouldn’t it and completely unlike me I like the cash, presents and praise.

So as ignoring these harmless emails didn’t seem to be working and the men writing them seemed to think that they knew me I decided to write to one of the gentlemen and ask why he was writing to me, what he and the others in the ring wanted and so on and so forth.

The chap replied that we/they were in a Bible study group that met every Saturday lunchtime (I have a feeling in a bar, but then that is just me) and that the only problem I had was that I simply didn’t know all of the guys in the group. Now that was quite worrying, I wondered if this chap had been enjoying just a little too much of the ‘rapture’ recently if you know what I mean.

I replied several times that I didn’t know him or indeed anyone in the group and as for the Bible, I couldn’t even lift it, let alone study it! To which some of the group replied that they would see me on Saturday and others sent their apologise that they wouldn’t be coming on Saturday and hoped to seem me on the following one.

Now I know that religion blinds people to the truth, but this is taking that to the extreme isn’t it? You humans are odd you know and that is why there is a saying in Yorkshire that “there’s nowt stranger than the folk!” I suppose.

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Royal Messages Of Support

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I would like to thank quite a few members of the Royal family who sent messages of support for my warning to the paparazzi over taking photos of me of a more than personal nature.

Some nice Royals even offered an amnesty, where they promise not to shoot any more little furry animals, though I have to say that I haven’t heard back yet from the ones who seem to be bagging all of the furry animals that we have left in the countryside and have not packed up and immigrated because the climate is changing.

Having handed out a little thank you to some Royals I feel I must however use this medium to tell the four or five very minor Royals who wanted/demanded ‘expenses’ if they were to write on my blog, sorry no dice that is a bit thick isn’t it?

Not only that didn’t they take one of your titles away from you after you had your toes licked on TV or something, it is so long ago one can’t really remember these days, thank goodness I hear you cry!

The removal of titles brings me to the sad case of Diana! She, I am sure, but do correct me if I am wrong, had all of her titles taken away after the ‘messy’ business except for “Head Shopper at Harrods” of course, so, and this is the point you will be relieved to hear, why is Diana referred to as the Princess of Wales etc when she is mentioned on TV and indeed even on the Royal Family’s own website – http://www.royal.gov.uk. Beats me!

You humans are odd!

Oh actually I have a little joke for you which all of you odd humans may like, it made me laugh for a minute or two. Cats sadly look rather sinister when they laugh and so we tend not to laugh much and when we do only for a very short time, we don’t want to scare anyone, especially if they are a bit dim and armed.

Anyway her is my little jokette:

I had a leak in the roof over my dining room so I called a repairman to take a look at it.

“When did you first notice the leak?” he asked.

I told him, “Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!”

There I managed to get to the end of this blog without saying that the picture of Diana is a royalty free picture har ha!

Oops!

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