Tag Archives: Photograph

Holy Clientele

Sometimes a photograph is worth a 1000 words so here is a story that has everything.

Holy Clientel

Of course sometimes some people get special treatment just because of the job they do no matter how unimportant or pointless that job might be!

This Cat wonders why Burger King would want to have reserved parking for the religious rabble of Archbishops and Clergy?

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Sunny Prague And A Bit Of Art

To celebrate a bit of a Prague Spring I thought I would show you all a bit of art! I took the picture yesterday and since then I have been playing around with it in with Photoshop – it is a lot of fun and doesn’t only have to be used to add and remove people from photographs, and cleanse models skin!

Hope you all like the picture.

Sunny Prague.jpg

A Prague Spring is a wonderful thing, but as I said in twitter earlier let’s hope that what happened last time doesn’t happen again – that is a “Prague Spring” joke for all of you who are old enough to remember the last one!

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Lost Picture!

Hi All,

I am afraid that I have to admit that this Cat is only human – well as human as the idiots who do all of the clever work on his blog and website – you didn’t expect me to accept any blame did you?

Today I wrote a blog about the inhuman treatment of a yet another poor Cat who was dyed pink by some clown in the UK and to add impact I added a picture which seems to have vanished from my blog duh!

Where the picture went I have no idea and so I thought I would try again and see if the web fingered, ham fisted web designers and fully qualified fools can get it right this time.

Here (hopefully) is the picture.

Pink Cat.jpg

 

Purrs,

 

The Cat

“It’s Upside Down Love!”

It's upside down love!.jpg

With the world watching and sycophantic news organisations gushing on about the concern shown by the future ‘king’ it appears that prince Charles and his wife Camillia were caught on camera showing what appears to be a lapse of concentration at best, and at worst a total lack of interest in the ceremony being held to bury the last of 250 British and Australian troops who had been forgotten for so long before being found in a mass grave near the First World War battlefield of Fromelles while fighting for their their country to say nothing of a distant relation of prince Charles their King!

The ceremony to reburied these unlucky soldiers was conducted yesterday with full military honours in northern France and it is obvious that prince Charles had been called away from his hobbies to represent the royal family and try to show some gratitude for what these brave souls did, indeed when prince Charles said.

“I am profoundly humbled by the outstanding bravery of these men, who fought so valiantly.”

He was sounding the right note and should thank his speech writers, but the photograph above and the magnified section below tells a different story; if you look closely you will see that Camillia is showing the Prince the record of service, so far so good, but you will also see that prince Charles appears to be picking his nose, that is presumably to cover the fact that he is whispering.

“It’s upside down love!”

Magnified.jpg

What a shame that with one action and one photograph the whole pretence of caring evaporates to say nothing of the insult to the 250 souls and relatives who were trying to have their quiet moment in the sun. How can anyone be interested in following a ceremony if they have the programme of events upside down? If anyone knows do let me in on the secret.

WW1.jpg

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November Could Be Interesting

You will be pleased to hear that I am going to have a bit of a break, unfortunately that break won’t be until November but it will be rather fun I am sure.

Have I piqued your interest? I do hope so! Where am I going I hear you ask – no go on please ask where I am going even if you aren’t really very interested because I am really hyped by the prospect and when you hear you might just be a little hyped too – whatever ‘hyped’ actually is of course!

Ok I give in I’ll tell you anyway. I am going to Florida, to Cape Canaveral that used to be Cape Kennedy, to watch a photograph of my face be launched into space on the last Space Shuttle flight ever, unless of course you count the return flight as a separate one if you see what I mean and surely the return flight is important enough to be counted separately.

shuttle.jpg

The great thing is that after NASA asked me to supply the photograph of me that is used on the cover of my world famous book “Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” available from all good, and not so terribly good, bookshops near you and of course at these fine places Amazon.com and my wickedly wonderful website or www www.thecatsdiary.com I asked them nicely if they would consider letting ordinary people send their pictures into space along with mine.

First they said that was a wonderful idea and then as they thought about it more they suggested that they might encourage people to send their pictures to them via the wonderful world wide web and they went away to build a website to do that very thing, well we have to celebrate NASA’s generosity because now if you are inclined to send your photograph into space you can do just that.

Simply go to the link below and upload a picture of you or indeed a loved one or family member (sorry old joke couldn’t resist it) and then wait until the Shuttle you choose comes back to the planet.

After your Shuttle has arrived back on Earth all you have to do is to go back to the site and using your reference number (which they give you after your picture is uploaded) you can get a certificate to say that your face has been in space, which if you are as interest in Rockets and of course explosions as I am you will probably treasure for a long time or if you are cheap like some people accuse me of being send the certificates to your friends and family as Christmas presents – tee hee.

www.faceinspace.nasa.gov/index.aspxm

I am going on the very last Space Shuttle mission the 134th, you should choose that one because it is going to be the best and most memorable because it has me on it. If you look at the picture below you’ll see some of our co-astronauts, a little bit about our mission on the STS-134 and a picture of the all important embroidered Mission logo – I want one of those don’t you?

Nasa.jpg

Well although of course I am going to be really sad to see the back of the ugly little Space Shuttle it has ended up like almost all little ugly things, it has become an icon like, oh Mickey Mouse, Jeffrey Katzenberg, the Chief Executive Officer of Dreamworks and of course the Statue of Liberty which frankly I believe the French couldn’t off load fast enough once they realised just how ugly it was, so they looked around for a young, gullible nation and gave them a ‘present.’

I think that the only reason that America accepted the French ‘present’ was that they thought that they were getting the Eiffel Tower, much as they did when the those nice folks in Lake Tahoe thought that they were getting the iron bridge called Tower Bridge and were justifiably surprised when the first stones of London Bridge were unloaded, though why they would want that ugly Victorian monstrosity is anyone’s guess!

London Tower Bridge.jpg

Just to compare the bridges and to prove that the bridge the good people of Lake Tahoe got was a nicer bridge. Here is the London Bridge as it is today.

LDN Bridge LT.jpg

Do please let me know if you agree with this Cat or not and of course if you upload your picture to be blasted off into space later this year.

Personally I can hardly wait.

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