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The Cat Thanks Everyone

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This good looking Cat would like to thank everyone who came to the ‘Bring A Prawn Dance!’ last Saturday/Sunday and for some hardened party goers Monday too!

All in all we had a wonderful time in general and as you can see from the picture it got just a little wild.

Actually I do wish that I had used a picture on the invitations because some people and I won’t mention any names here brought err, how can I put this – oh yes – complete idiots, instead of Prawns.

Apparently a ‘Prawn’ in the human language can also mean a person who is not only not quite the ticket and has bought a bus ticket when they should have got one for a train, what can I say?

Well I suppose I could say that we had a right royal time with the idiots, but I won’t because a lot of people have accused me recently of being a bit of a royal basher and those who know me will agree that isn’t true, give me a choice between a Prawn and a royal and I will always eat the Prawn!

Actually I heard from a ‘reliable’ source that a well known royal had bought my best selling book and loved it, apparently it props the drawing room door open perfectly!

I wonder if they bought it here at Amazon.com that would have been nice.

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Two Innocent Articles And Then…. A Warning!

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I didn’t realise that when I started to support The Queen’s stand against the dreadful incursions of the paparazzi that I would have started to prise the lid off a can, full to the brim, of worms.

Ok, so I have been mentioning the UK Royal’s love of shooting small furry animals such as myself, though wilder, (and I have to say wouldn’t you be wild if you were being shot at?) and now I have had something of a warning through a third party from the United States.

This came in the mail today:

You have finally done it my friend I think. Here in the States we have the men in black who handle upstarts and the like. I am certain the British have more than the guys with Amy Winehouse hats. If you piss those people off, someone will be wearing you to the next Royal function I’m sure so take it easy on the people who run things.

Now I had no idea what an Amy Winehouse hat was but now I am worried, see above. Yes her hair is uncannily like a Guardsman’s bearskin helmet if you can say the word helmet in the same article as you mention The Queen? I don’t know but then I am only a Cat after all!

Thinking about it, it might be a good precaution to get a disguise?

I know, I could wear an Amy Winehouse hat! As you can see Amy Winehouse hats are all the rage among Cats at the moment. Below is a recent snap of my Siamese friend Prince Blue Flower or Bert as we call him affectionally, he is modelling his Amy Winehouse hat which was given to him only last week, poor devil.

What do you think? Will it work if I go under cover of Amy Winehouse’s hair?

Toby, Ginger, Monty and Felix have all said that they will wear their Amy Winehouse hats in sympathy with me bless them, so as word spreads across the world please, gentle readers, don’t be alarmed if your Cat crosses your lounge wearing something that looks like a dead fellow member of his or her species on his bonce, it is only your very own Moggie wearing his or her Amy Winehouse hat with pride and demonstrating solidarity with yours truly.

You know I never thought I could get into so much hot water and I will have to get out of it soon or my Amy Winehouse hat will sag like a badly cooked Soufflé.

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Royal Messages Of Support

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I would like to thank quite a few members of the Royal family who sent messages of support for my warning to the paparazzi over taking photos of me of a more than personal nature.

Some nice Royals even offered an amnesty, where they promise not to shoot any more little furry animals, though I have to say that I haven’t heard back yet from the ones who seem to be bagging all of the furry animals that we have left in the countryside and have not packed up and immigrated because the climate is changing.

Having handed out a little thank you to some Royals I feel I must however use this medium to tell the four or five very minor Royals who wanted/demanded ‘expenses’ if they were to write on my blog, sorry no dice that is a bit thick isn’t it?

Not only that didn’t they take one of your titles away from you after you had your toes licked on TV or something, it is so long ago one can’t really remember these days, thank goodness I hear you cry!

The removal of titles brings me to the sad case of Diana! She, I am sure, but do correct me if I am wrong, had all of her titles taken away after the ‘messy’ business except for “Head Shopper at Harrods” of course, so, and this is the point you will be relieved to hear, why is Diana referred to as the Princess of Wales etc when she is mentioned on TV and indeed even on the Royal Family’s own website – http://www.royal.gov.uk. Beats me!

You humans are odd!

Oh actually I have a little joke for you which all of you odd humans may like, it made me laugh for a minute or two. Cats sadly look rather sinister when they laugh and so we tend not to laugh much and when we do only for a very short time, we don’t want to scare anyone, especially if they are a bit dim and armed.

Anyway her is my little jokette:

I had a leak in the roof over my dining room so I called a repairman to take a look at it.

“When did you first notice the leak?” he asked.

I told him, “Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!”

There I managed to get to the end of this blog without saying that the picture of Diana is a royalty free picture har ha!

Oops!

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