Tag Archives: Slave


Yesterday I was highlighting just how awfully politically correct and authoritarian the UK government is with a very small example of the madness of not allowing someone to put posters up asking if anyone has seen his Cat.

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Today I see that in the US there is the same sort of politically correct nonsense going on and worse this form of political correctness seems to be firstly generated by a commercial company and secondly against one of the 19th/20th century literary geniuses and his books Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn which of course was one of the first anti-racist novels and some would say the greatest.

In the ‘new’ editions of both Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn which contain the offensive racial epithets “injun” and “nigger” have had the words replaced with “Indian” and “slave” respectively.

Now I have to say that the words replaced are by today’s standards probably not very nice words, and here obviously I would like to apologise to all the rap artists, hip hoppers and other generally black musicians, actors and comedians who refer to themselves and each other loudly and regularly as ‘nigger’ but spelt with an ‘a’ I believe, who should stop using the word and cut it out of any recordings, live acts and the like forthwith!

Personally I think that the people who carried out this censorship have the same political views as all of the famous fascists and communists regimes of the past rolled into one – they should be ashamed of themselves for tampering and ruining a great piece of art.

All of which makes me wonder what will happen to my books in 100 years time? Which words will some little Hitler want removed from my masterpieces of feline literature, or will my book and so many more see the hot end of a bonfire before that time? Sadly when you look at the way things are going I have a feeling they will, but then I will be in illustrious company and happily not around to have to endure the world these idiots are creating.

No wonder in his Notebook in 1894 Mark Twain wrote; “If man could be crossed with the Cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the Cat.”

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The Cat & Kindle.png

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They’ve Sold Peanuts – Does That Mean It’s Me Next?

Charlie Brown and Friends.jpg

So they have finally done it! They’ve gone and sold Peanuts to a faceless media corporation, but then of course Peanuts was actually owned by one before the sale with the ‘family’ owning about 25% so nothing changes there. But that did start me thinking about all sorts of other things like how can I be free and have my own rights?

But before we get into my freedoms and rights come on hands up who cares if Peanuts has been sold? Personally I never liked that little guy Charlie Brown, his voice was far too high and he was cruel to most of the people and animals he encountered. Then again of course I didn’t understand the humour, if indeed there was any, but of course I don’t ‘get’ Thanksgiving and that is because I am an English Cat.

Personally I always thought that Peanuts and the other characters were rather dull and worse I think that they all look like those vomit making faces of the characters from the “Love Is” cartoon series, except for the one where “love was” drowning Charlie Brown in schmaltz or did I dream that one?

What worries me and I am sure all of the other famous comedy characters like me is this – when am I going to be sold off and to whom? I really don’t think that I would like to work with those nice (I am sure) people at Iconix Brand Group Inc just look what they have done to the other ‘characters’ they own.

And what’s more who has the right to ‘own’ someone else, I am I thought a free Cat, and then I looked at my contract and realised that my rights are owned by someone else and not me, making me a slave surely? That is just not good enough I should be free don’t all of my wonderful fans agree?

So I have come up with a plan you will be pleased and relieved to hear to guarantee my freedom! I am going to buy the rights to myself, myself, yes you read that correctly, I am going to purchase my own rights so that I can be free to do and say what I like, and better still make the people I like such as all of my wonderful fans laugh, rather than be forced onto some TV commercial, Billboard or piece of corporate give-away crap.

Now based on my research and my own assessment of my core and creative value rounded up in a Goldman Sachs sort of a way and presented as a 25 year bond, I think that if Charlie Brown was worth $175 million, yes believe it or not $175 million then I have to be worth somewhere in the region of $550 million. Actually I was going to say $500 million but my paw slipped and frankly that is a typo I can live with.

So! I hear you ask, just how can I raise that kind of cash to emancipate myself? Well that is simple – Americans and the rest of the free world that is Britain and to some degree Norway believe in freedom for all and indeed all freedoms (unless it conflicts with their religion and or politics although it is difficult to see sometimes where the two separate) and that means that I can rely on them to help me in my struggle to emancipate myself in the same way that they are helping the Afghans to help themselves at the moment.

So if you would like help do please rush to my wickedly wonderful website www www.thecatsdiary.com use the donate button here the giveaway and you will help this Cat to be as free as you are and that is worth the price surely? As you donate you will also be able to join the Great Giveaway, although as the millions start to roll in I may well have provide much bigger prizes.


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