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Do You Like Tea Towels?

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Do you like tea towels? It would appear that the British royal family don’t, because they have banned them from being used to commemorate the forthcoming dreadful royal wedding of two rather dull individuals who’s names escape me for the moment!

Yes that is right the Palace has ruled that official souvenirs must be “permanent” and “significant” (whatever that means) and for the ‘palace’ you can read the queen and the rest of the brood.

All of which means I expect we will see lots of really awful plates mass produced in China with uncanny photographic resemblances of the young royal pair; but hang on plates, commemorative or not, aren’t exactly “permanent” are they? You can break a plate quite easily especially if you are in a deteriorating marriage then they tend to fly at you from all angles, even if the aforementioned plate is covered in gold leaf to make it “significant!”

As a Cat with most of his marbles I have to say that I can’t see what all of the fuss about tea towels is about. Just look at this marvellous example of tea towel craftsmanship and design from Charles’ marriage the time before last, to the sulky blonde.

Nice tea towel.jpg

I have to say although I am a poor judge of human expressions that ‘the boy’ in the pin strip suit looks pretty chipper and frankly the ‘likeness’ is very flattering, I bet when charles does the drying up at home he still smiles at the good looking young guy looking up at him.

If anyone should be more than a little annoyed it is the family of the blonde tragic princess-to-be she looks awful, but then if you had just heard that your future husband had been having an affair with someone old enough to be your Mum and had refused to stop you might not look your best when you pop down to Lord Litchfield’s studio to have him take a snap or two would you?

Thinking about it the only time we haven’t seen a beautifully handcrafted tea towel to commemorate a royal wedding was at charles’ most recent wedding and that was because it is believed that constant exposure to images of the bride can put chickens off laying and frighten small children although it has to be argued that the same is true of the images on the tea towel above come to think of it because let’s face it creating a life like image on a tea towel is just a dream – but then surely people should be able to dream and not have the queen and the rest of the royals stop them!

As tea towels are so dreadful, this confused Cat presumes that the royal palace gift shops, perfectly and strategically located to prise even more money from visitors in royal palaces up and down the UK will stop selling their range of “impermanent” and “insignificant” merchandise namely tea towels.

Personally I am just glad that the royal family owned up and told us unsuspecting punters that they had been selling us crap all this time in their palace gift shops.

Below is a picture of one of the tea towels that the queen and the royal squad have decided is crap, it is described on the Historic Royal Palaces Shops website here Historic Royal Palaces Shops as the – Tea towel – Henry VIII and Wives – and as you can see for yourself if you go to the website this tea towel, which the queen hates so much, is available in all palace’s gift shops including Buckingham Palace just look in the souvenir section although it will probably appear in the “Must Go Sale” section soon and will be heavily reduced from its rrp of 4.99 ukp I expect!

The queen says this is crap.jpg

So what can I say even the royals think that the merchandise in their gift shops is rubbish and that means the best thing to do is to go to my website and treat yourself to something classy and totally unroyal here www.thecatsdiary.com my www – wickedly wonderful website!

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More Scandal From the Commonwealth Games

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Definitely A Woman But Drugged Out of Her Mind

Today it was confirmed that the Commonwealth Games women’s 100m gold medal winner Damola Osayemi has failed a drugs test, but happily for a change other tests confirm that she is a female athlete and was rightfully allowed to compete in a woman’s event, unlike a growing number of African athletes, particularly from South Africa, who have entered and won athletic events only to be discovered at a later to be men.

However with Damola Osayemi officials have definitely confirmed that she was indeed a woman, but in her case a woman who was drugged out of her mind.

Damola Osayemi’s coach and Nigerian team officials have said that the banned substance that had been responsable for her drastic improvement in form might have been ingested while poor Damola Osayemi was taking medicine for a really bad toothache.

Others have said that a disgruntled Witch Doctor may have tricked Damola Osayemi into taking the banned substance or indeed that she and her trainer had secretly used banned drugs to enhance her performance in the same way that Olympic athletes have been doing for decades because of the enormous financial rewards that come as a result of winning sporting events to say nothing of the muscle tone that can be achieved with steroids and of course the possibility of becoming a successful politician in later life.

The picture below is of a happy smiling Damola Osayemi thinking about all of the money she is going to earn from the sport over the next few years, after she won the 100 metres event and probably just before she was given the news that she had failed the all important drugs test.

Definitely a Woman but drugged.jpg

For all of my American readers.

You may be wondering just what exactly is the “Commonwealth Games?” Well it is a rather poor imitation of the Olympic Games which attracts second division countries and their athletes to compete in countries that can’t afford to host the games and in the case of this year’s host couldn’t get the various venues and stadia built and ready even though they had eight years to do so.

The ‘commonwealth’ part of the name “Commonwealth Games” relates to a group of ex British empire countries who are convinced that if they huddle together economically something wonderful will happen to them, as they have been huddling together since 1931 it is unlikely that this will happen.

The importance of the “Commonwealth” and the “Commonwealth Games” to the British public amounts to zero except for a very small and completely out of touch group of free loaders who count among their ranks the Queen of England, Commonwealth etc and her dreadful spawn who get to travel to the countries that comprise the Commonweath and in the case of the really awful prince Charles (the grumbler in waiting) and the insane dude of Edinburgh whine and moan about the heat and humidity, the flies and of course the people.

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