I heard the other day that some fool had posted the ‘secret’ – well not anymore – recipe for Coca Cola online after it was ‘discovered’ by a radio show and I thought to myself “so what!” I won’t bother to mention the show or the website because that would just draw attention to these somewhat deranged people and that is exactly what they want of course).

It’s difficult for me to describe just how unimpressed I am by the actions of this idiot, what does the nincompoop think we are going to do – use the recipe to make our own coke?

This Cat hates to mention to these stupid people and anyone daft enough to believe what they claim is true and I’m not going to grace their story by repeating it, because surely everyone knows that the recipe for Coke and just about everything that was developed in the late 19th Century will have been modified so that the commodity embraces ‘modern’ tastes.

And of course as if to prove my point I am sure I don’t have to draw your attention to the word ‘new’ in picture below, but maybe for the “hard of understanding” as I like to call really stupid people it might be worth mentioning that in order to get ‘new’ Coke the people who make the fizzy black stuff would have changed the recipe – as Homer Simpson says “DOH!”

Ok I will say this about Coke! It’s over priced and I have never understood why a litre of the stuff (that is a small amount to you guys in the states and such a small bottle probably doesn’t exist – only joking) costs as much as a bumper, jumbo sized 2 litre bottle but that’s no reason for spilling the beans is it? If you don’t like the cost of something you don’t buy it.

So every recipe has change except, that is, except the wonderfully original Worcestershire Sauce which was developed by the mother of Audrey Lawson-Johnston who was the last living survivor of the sinking of the ocean liner RMS Lusitania in 1915. Audrey’s family survived the sinking and shortly after getting back to England her Mum came up with the saucy idea of this oddly tasty sauce adored by a lot of people everywhere and of course some Cats (mentioning no names but expecting at least a case of the delicious stuff as a reward for product placement of course).

Now not many people know the story of Worcestershire Sauce (or care probably har ha) but honestly for those of you who are easily excited what I have just said was not a secret.

By the way, who like me, thinks that the name of the English county ‘Worcestershire’ is a bit odd? It’s the most dreadful looking name and frankly looks almost as bad as ‘Gloucestershire’ doesn’t it? I blame the French invaders of 1066 for all of these silly names and I think I am right the name ‘Gloucestershire’ it was first used in the 1Oth Century which is the 1100’s isn’t it – me and my maths – I just wonder because the use of the word Gloucestershire was blamed on the Anglo Saxons and not the French in the text book I read!

Don’t you think since Wikileaks – which is a most unfortunate name isn’t it, and easily confused with so much else – we are all just a little too obsessed with secrecy? I suggest we relax and have a nice cup of tea and if you want a secret about tea it is that tea bags contain the worst tea of the entire crop, the broken dusty bits! There I bet you didn’t know that! But I bet your Mum’s and Grandma’s do, what a shame you never listen to them, instead listening to a lot of attention seeking sneaky fools on the radio and internet, because if you had you would drink more tea!

I was looking for an illustration for Wikileaks but when I typed “nerd pissing in the wind” in – some say – good old Google.com I didn’t get any results – odd that?

But good news! To make it up to you I thought you might like this picture of a Dog doing its ‘business!’

Pug’s are weird aren’t they?” Have you ever wondered why old ladies like them? I think we know why now – ‘hidden talents’ that’s all I’m saying!

By the way, and just quickly!

I would like to offer a great big thanks to everyone who made the February sales of my book a record for Amazon.com and it is only about half past February, my readers are so very special and so much nicer than the average reader! Thanks and I mean that, if we can do the same in March that would of course be marvellous so please start bullying your friends now if they aren’t close enough friends for you to want to buy them the book yourself!

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